What Happened with the Polish Girl

So I should have written this last week and I'm sorry.  I went out with the 10 that I met a year ago and talked about in Serendipity. 

It was a hectic night and I thought she might flake.  She texted a few times to confirm, but then Friday night she texted to say that she was at work really late and tired.  I ha to run around, so I wasn't too focused.  I was chilling with RichMuscles at Punk, where he was hosting a table.  But I got a call from Mr M.  He was down the street with an author who is going to be writing about Project Rockstar and wanted to meet me.  I scramble up the street to meet him and chat for about 20 minutes when my man Vercetti rolls up.  So good to see him again.  We chat and this author dude was pretty cool.  He totally knew who I was.  Respect.

I get a text from the Polish girl.  She wants to know if the music will be good at the club and I promise that it will be.  She says she will meet me in ten minutes and she's brought a friend.  Now it is time for me to go on a little rant about women here.  No girl EVER brings a hot friend.  And certainly no girl has EVER brought a friend hotter than her.  This girl rocked up with no exception.  She rolled up with a little troll.  I bring RichMuscles who is taller than me, super jacked, nice and has good fashion.  I bring steak and she brings a dog.  I thought he was gonna kill me.  Haha.

She looks really sexy at least, although she has cut her hair, which doesn't look as great.  Her first comment is that I have had a haircut.  Holy crap, I met her when I was rocking my long hair and chin grass.  I forgot about that look.  I really loved having long hair, too bad nobody else agreed with me.  But what do they know, I'm a genius.  We sit down at the table and she cracks out the camera to take some photos.  I got no problem with this.  It's a shame that she is wearing white jeans and a white t shirt.  She is the kinda girl that should only wear dresses.

We chill at this party for a while, when I get some text love from Kboy and Mr M.  They are hitting CooCoo club and I'm invited.  It's not the kinda joint I go to normally, so I am intruiged.  Plus I like Kboy a lot and Dr Yen is coming.  I don't really like Punk that much and I wanna make this girl hit as many spots with me as possible.  She is smoking hot and I want the guys to see her with me.  She doesn't drink and that really turned me off.  I am a 3rd generation drinker.  I mean my problem isn't serious yet, but I like to party.  It's who I am.

I basically ignore her a lot.  I wanna get wasted with my mates and really enjoy the experience.  There were shots and champagne bottles everywhere.  I met a ton of cool dudes and lost track of my girl.  Her friend was really into Kboy.  I thought he was going to kill me when I asked him to jump on the grenade.  He apologized the next day, but by then it was too late.  I met a TON of girls in the smoking section, but I was so wasted that it all flows together.  But I can promise you I was suave and hilarious.

At one point I get Mr M to try and distract the Troll.  But she is relentless.  Everytime I try and get 5 minutes alone with my bird she gets in between us.  I hate girls like that.  It's not my fault you're not pretty.  I mean she was chubby and rocking a mustache.  Those are things she could fix.  And bump her from a 4 to a 5 quite easily.

I am having such a badass time with my friends that I don't even notice the girls leaving at 3 or something.  My bird texts to say that they both had a great time and I hate her for using the plural.  From now on I will tell girls that they aren't allowed to torture my friends with their hideous goblins.  I mean seriously.

Oh ya.  I forgot that I had announced that I released a dating book on facebook the week before.  She was asking all about it and I think that messed me up.  Like it was just awkward between us.  Dunno if that was the main cause but it happened so I'm telling you.  Some girls get weird when they find out what I do.  Like they want to be the one to break Hitch's heart.  The jokes on them.  I think Tucker Max turned my heart black a long time ago!

PS I have a picture of us where we both look super hot.  I almost posted it, but I'm not quite at that place yet.  Sorry suckas!