I was sitting at home last night around 9 o’clock. Winding down and pondering cleaning my room. Like I do every day. When the phone rang and it was Harlequin. He was in central and wanted to link up. I am a big HQ fan, so I jumped at the opportunity to spend some time with him. I text everyone in my phone and jump a bus within 20 minutes. I had to do my hair didn’t I!
I get to Covent Garden and find out he’s moved on to another part of the city. I am in contact with Mystel, Egyptian and HQ. I have three options to hang out. Egyptian tells me he has some sexy girls with him, so the choice made itself for me! I jump the train to Kensington.
I get to this posh wine bar and Egyptian is outside talking to a couple celebrating their one year anniversary. I go inside and everyone asks my job, so I just say dating coach. The totally love it. One of the girls is so sultry and tells me she is a sex coach. I am aroused and intruiged. What else could I be?
She is really working Egyptian’s house mate, so I leave them to it. It seems to me like they are dating, so I just chat around and Egyptian and I make big plans for the night. Later on everyone leaves, including a dejected looking house mate. It’s just me Egyptian and the naughty Cougar. She just exudes sexuality. At the wine bar she was going on about her favorite position. She loves being on top and in total control.
We head to another bar that is still open after the Wine joint shuts. We end up in a dump of a pub and on the way, she yells at every guy. It’s funny but weird. People can’t tell what’s happening. She starts dancing with Egyptian and we are all hving a blast. I get a big round of shots and mixed drinks in. Boom!
We down the shots and just start chatting. I try to flirt with one girl who is just above average pretty, but she is wicked rude to me. I almost want to shout, ‘Do you know who I am?!’ Instead I chat more to our Cougar. She keeps trying to tease me for being young and part of the MTV generation. I just keep agreeing and teasing her. I was in old school mystery method mode. It worked a treat. Finally, she accuses me of being a terrible kisser, after I said I bet she is a boring kisser. So we kiss and it’s lovely and 10seconds as well. My mate suddenly tells the girl that he has a family emergency and rushes out of the bar. I’m kinda worried, but he tells me to take care of the girl. (I later find out he was just giving us space)
She flirted with every single guy in the bar and 5 builders bounce us to a bar a block away in a basement. I am like wow that seems like a bad idea. But I just go with the flow. In the bar I remind her it’s her round and start enjoying my cocktail while she is dancing with a ton more builders. She seems to be having a blast playing with all those boys, so I start taking care of myself. This really lovely blond is ordering a drink next to me and we end up in conversation. She loves hearing about my work as a dating coach and we really hit it off.
Then her two friends walk up. One is a killer brunette and one is chubby. I am holding court with all three of them surrounding me at the bar until the joint closes. I go outside and make sure the first girl I kissed gets safely into a cab home and then I go back and suddenly there are two other guys there. One guy, bald dude, is really after the blond and one, australia, is after the fat girl. Sweet serendipity.
Bald dude wants to bounce the girls to a club that is really near my house. I see the opportunity to avoid taking an hour of buses home, so I tell the guy the girls will only come if he pays of the whole taxi himself. He has no idea that I just met them. All six of us get into a cab that this dude is paying too much for. Australia gets into the back with the chubby girl and bald dude is in the front with the driver. Somehow, I am stuck with the two hot girls in the middle seat. hehe.
It is a long boring drive and the guy has no idea what he’s doing. He drives us past three different bars and clubs in my neighborhood that are all open. I spend the drive sneaking kisses off the brunette every time the blond leans forward. She is lovely. We also snap a few lovely picures together. It’s fun for me and I’m getting a nice ride to my place. We get dropped off at a bar a few hundred meters from my house in the end. The blond is getting a ton of texts from her brother telling her to come home, so the girls are getting nervous. The bar won’t let us in this late and bald guy is freaking out.
If the two dudes weren’t creepy losers I would have offered to all come back to my place. Bald guy has a new plan and pays for another taxi to another bar. It’s actually called “Russian Bar”. It’s the kinda place you take a girl on a first date. If you are planning on killing her. We are there about 5 minutes and all use the bathroom. The girls get yelled at by the bouncer for going into the toilet at the same time. It’s that kinda place. They call a taxi and I snog my lovely, young brunette who has told me she is 21, but based on the pictures I took I am not so sure.
Bald guy drops the line of the evening on them..“If you guys let me buy you a round of drinks, I will pay for your taxi home.”
With one sentence, he blew my mind. He reeks of desperation. The girls jump in the taxi. Me and Australia get some good night kisses. Bald dude dropped more than 50 pounds on taxis and didn’t even get a phone number. I had to walk home with Australia, who turned out to be one seriously creepy dude. But I didn’t wanna walk through that neighborhood in the dark. The girls told me the next day they thought both of the other dudes were really creepy.
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