I got a call Saturday night from Bugsy asking me if I’ll be his volunteer on the final day of his nlp prac course. I am of course into trying new things so I go along. I didn’t realize til I got there that I would be working with a stranged. I picked an older lady because she looked like my friend Yad and also I wanted to work with someone really different from me. I’m all about changing my life and doing things that are challenging as much as possible.
So I have to come up with a problem I want to work on using nlp stuff. I try to think of a problem to work on that isn’t totally game related. I decided to pick something really challenging that I think about a lot. Why not? It’s all or nothing. I told her about how I am really working on releasing my body issues. I thought it would be relevant since I was going to mexico the next day. I’m on the flight writing this on my little computer right now. So I told her 2 issues I want to break through. The main one is feeling fat. I want to become totally one with my body and not care if i’m fat or skinny. To just feel it as irrelevant. I also want to break through the barrier that keeps me from going to the gym as much as I should. After I ran 5km on monday, I didn’t go to the gym the rest of the week. I feel like I have this psychological block that triggers whenever I hit a certain weight. I don’t push myself that final level to get the body I want.
We did a ton of time line therapy, which is really emotionally draining. I won’t go into too many details, but we went back to the first moment I felt fat and talked through the emotions and the things I should have known back then as a child. We did this for a long time and I think I feel better today. We also talked about how I get mad when people call me fat. I got furious when a girl in class called me fat last week. So she wanted to do another time regression thing to the first time I ever got angry.
So more marching along that timeline. It was a real bastard. At first I couldn’t think of that moment and it all felt cloudy. In the end we got there and worked through it. I am supposed to not be as angry about stuff anymore. We did a future timeline thing to test if stuff was working. I was supposed to think of something that would make me angry, so I imagined my best friend banging my oneitis. And I got super furious. She was like I guess this isn’t working. Then I told the main teacher what I was imagining and she was like, no you’re supposed to get angry at that! Try something tamer. So I thought about peopl making me wait at ticket gates on the underground. I felt disconnected from my anger.
This whole thing is supposed to take a long time for change to happen so I guess I will see. I am not believing or disbelieveing. I’m in a state of simply not knowing yet. I hope it works. I will see how things go in mexico. So far I just feel really mellow. This morning I was really stressed about being late for my plane. Every train on the way to the airport was late. I wasn’t nearly as stressed as I normally get. And I didn’t get angry. I do hope that I can get even more mellow. I’m definitely more interested in quality nlp than ever. I like the parts that are focused on self improvement and improving connections with people. It’s much more interesting than the nlp stuff some guys teach that is focused on getting girls. I really don’t need that help right now. I want to improve me.
We did a 3rd exercise to help me get through that barrier keeping me from going to the gym enough. So we did a drill to give me a motivation trigger. It seemed cool, but I don’t know if it worked yet. I really hope so. The lady asked me to tell Bugsy about my progress and he’ll let her know.
Overall it was a really good experience. I learned a lot and it was so emotionally draining and challenging. I think it was really good and I’m glad that he picked me to be his assistaant. Unfortunately, I had to rush off to see Watchmen, so I didn’t get to talk with him as much about it. I think that’s ok. I need a little more time to work through my emotions and experience. Anyways, I recommend exploring nlp as a path of self-improvement. I like that aspect of it.
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