One of the biggest challenges in going from beginner to intermediate game is moving away from out people’s routines or techniques to creating your own. A lot of this challenge comes from feeling like there is something about your personality you have to hide from women.
Being Honest with HER
It’s the most embarrassing parts of your life that a woman can find the most endearing. If you have a comic book collection, you want to talk about how you ACTUALLY feel about your comics. If you try to keep that part of your life a secret and you act all nervous or shy when a woman sees your collection, then you are lying to yourself and to her. Instead you want to present this part of your personality early on. It is the things in our lives that are the nerdiest that often make us special.
You should start talking about how you collect comics. It’s rare for women to collect them because they are designed to appeal to the way men see the world. The shame is that most women only see them as cartoons and don’t realize that the majority of comic books, like science fiction, is a medium for a critique of modern society. Although it might seem like X-Men is just a bunch of people with powers fighting all the time, it is actually a critique of racism.
Suddenly a hobby that could easily be frames as lame or nerdy is put into a better light. The point is to let her see the real you as early as possible. I will be happy to talk about any specific hobbies that people post in their replies below.
Being Honest with Yourself
The is another really important aspect of honesty that you should look at. How often when you WANT to physically escalate do you resist because of fear. You don’t do what you really want to do and instead do what you THINK you are supposed to do. This is another form of lying. You are lying with your body and to yourself. I always escalate when I suddenly feel it.
For me there is a moment in attraction where it just hits me. I want her. It’s like in that Counting Crows song where he says “she’s suddenly beautiful.” When I suddenly realize that with a girl, I just pull her in close. I say “Can I tell you something really serious?” And she will expect a dramatic bomb, so it builds a little bit of that crucial tension. “You are so beautiful that talking to you makes me feel really nervous.” And then I put her hand on my heart.
Why is this such a powerful escalation move? Because it’s pure honesty. She can feel how fast my heart is beating. I don’t have the ability to up my heart rate and fake that, so she connects with me. I am saying it exactly when I feel it. It’s emotionally risky. It’s scary. It’s hard. I know that. Every time I say it I am really nervous, but the reaction is always amazing. She melts.
Honesty is the key to escalation. When should you try to kiss a girl? When you WANT to. I once asked a girl how long I had to talk to her before we could start kissing. We were kissing 2 minutes later.
So let’s get to the core of the matter.
Why is honesty powerful?
Let’s think about the value we place on honesty. We hate politicians because they lie to us. We hate when we find out our girlfriends are cheating.
Who do we normally lie to? We lie to our parents when we don’t want to get in trouble. We lie to our bosses when we don’t want to get fired. We lie to our girlfriends when we don’t want to get dumped.
So we lie to people who have power over us. IF you are lying to a girl in a club, you are subcommunicating that she has power over you. She has something you want. This power disparity is something that she will notice and it will make your sets harder to close. She might think you are funny, but she won’t trust you. She might not even be sure why.
It’s important to remember that women are naturally more socially savvy and aware than men are. They notice lying faster. They have to. It’s a genetic survival trait. Women are smaller than men, so they have to notice danger faster.
So remember. Bring more honesty into your sets and you will see attraction hit harder and last longer. Also you won’t have to try and remember which girl you told you were an astronaut and which one you told you were a cowboy.
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