How to Send the Perfect 1st Text After You Get a Woman’s Number

This is a guest post from Jordan Harbinger, a friend and fellow dating coach over at The Art of Charm.

Here’s My Process For Following Up With A Woman After I Get Her Number

You aren’t the only guy going after the girls you’re interested in.

While that statement is exceptionally simple, it is also crucial to keep in mind if your goal is dating your ultimate woman.

Why?

Because chances are she’s giving out her number on a regular basis and, as a result, you need to maintain (or build) her attraction in you EVERY step of the interaction.

You did yourself well in getting her number, but if you want to actually date her, it’s what you after you receive her number that sets you apart enough to make her want to date you.

In this post, I’m going to show you how I do that with my first text. You’re going to learn how to solidify her attraction and consistently turn your numbers into actual dates. There are just a few key principles you need to know and they are very easy to learn.

You see, a lot of guys can get a girl’s number, but what often happens is they get so excited about pulling numbers… that they give little thought to what to do with them.

(I’m going to avoid the debate of calling versus texting for now, but what you should know is texting is better during these early stages. Not only is it becoming the de facto way to communicate (especially with people you just met), but it’s lower pressure for her, lets her respond when she has the time, and vastly increases YOUR chances of hearing back from her.)

So let’s talk about how to nail that first text, so you can maintain (or grow) her attraction in you and move closer to that first date.

What Your 1st Text Subconsciously Tells Her About You

Though you are only sending 1-3 lines of text, you are giving off (often unconsciously) signals that tell her a lot about what type of guy you are.

For example:

1. Is meeting women a typical behavior for you?
2. Do you have high Social Value?
3. Are you easily manipulated or do you have a strong sense of personal identity?
4. What kind of personality do you have? Will you be able to excite her and make her laugh? Or are you boring like every other guy?
5. Are you needy or do you have other things going on in your life?

These are just a few of the things she will subconsciously pick up from your text messages… and they impact her decision of whether or not she’ll want to move forward with the relationship.

This may seem like a lot pressure to cram on a few lines of text, but once you incorporate these principles into your text game you will naturally give off the right signals.

To begin, we need to look at why most guys don’t get this right.

First Text No-No’s

For many guys the first text is a stressful, agonizing experience. You sit there wracking your brain for hours to come up with the perfect zinger to send… but then end up with something brilliant like:

• Hey what’s up?
• Hey cutie, it was nice meeting you last night. Want to hang out tonight?
• How is your day going?
• What are you up to?
• Do you remember me? -{your name}
• Hey it’s {name} from the bar/party/club last night. What’s up?

These types of texts are typical and THAT’S WHY they’re boring.

Instead of setting you apart, they lump you right into the “lame/boring” category with every other guy.

Not only are they completely devoid of emotional impact, but they kill any initial attraction you built up with her when you got her number in the first place.

What A 1st Text SHOULD Do

How do you write a 1st text that sets you apart and makes her excited to text you back? There are three essential ingredients I’ve found you need:

1. It needs to set a fun, playful tone for future interactions
2. It needs to engage her emotions, causing her to re-affirm her attraction to you
3. It needs to compel her to respond

If you can accomplish all of these in your first text, odds are she will not only respond positively, but will be much more willing to move forward with you.

Let’s take a look how to each element works and how to incorporate them together in your first text.

1. Setting a Fun, Playful Tone

This may sound crazy at first, but fourth-grade humor should be the underlying theme for most of your text messages, including the initial interaction. (This stems from the larger point of your overall successful text strategy, but that is too big for one article. You can learn more about that here.)

Light-hearted, super-silly jokes win women over because they get her constantly associating positive and playful emotions with you.

You can accomplish this by using a variety of tools: nicknames, role-playing, teasing, etc. Plus, always remember that the way you word things has a dramatic effect on how it is perceived, like “dancing” vs “bust-a-move.”

2. Engaging Her Emotions and Re-affirming Attraction

The most powerful and important element of your first text is engaging her emotions.

The primary goal of your initial texts should be helping her re-experience the feelings of attraction you created when you got her number. You want to continue with whatever you did to make her attracted in the first place…

… and the easiest way to do so is by referencing a topic from your past conversation.

This will cause her to recall her time with you and to feel those same emotions she felt at that point – the very emotions that were the foundation of her attraction to you (and you to her as well).

The last thing you want is to have to start back at Square One and re-build positive emotions in her. Instead, pick up where you left off and you’ll be able to move your relationship along much quicker.

3. Compelling Her to Respond

How do you compel attractive women to consistently respond to your first texts? The same way you get anyone to respond: by asking a question or making a statement that requires more info.

Now here’s the catch: you can’t just pop her any old question or statement… otherwise, Hey what’s up? would be effective. What kind of question do you ask? Simply take a basic question and re-word it so it becomes fun and playful.

Example:

What’s up? becomes What kind of mischief are you causing today?

Here’s another example that would require additional information: I just figured out what you would be if you were an animal. If she wants to know the answer she has to text you back.

The secret is to make the statement about her personally. Nothing makes a person more curious than what someone else thinks about them.

What an Effective First Text Looks Like

Imagine that during your conversation she told you how she used to always go to the zoo to see the penguins. She was obsessed with them and went to bed every night until she was twelve with her stuffed penguin, Chilly Willy.

When it comes time to text her, you can now draw from that story to not only show that you listened (good job), but more importantly, to evoke all those emotions again.

Next you compel her to respond by adding a question or statement that requires more information.

You then set a fun and playful tone not only by the way you word your text, but by adding in things like nicknames, role-playing, teasing, etc.

If you put it all together it would look something like this:

Hey my little penguin princess, what kind of mischief are you causing today!?

Or

Hey my little penguin princess, I just realized which celebrity you remind me of.. crazy crazy

As brief and silly as these messages seem, they accomplish a lot:

• They cause her to recall the positive feelings she had when sharing that story with you, re-affirming her attraction to you.
• They also demonstrate that you are not like every other guy and compel her to respond in a playful way.

This puts her guard down and sets the tone for a successful interaction. The first example even lets you know what her plans are for the day… and you can then use this information to move the conversation forward and perhaps even plan a meet up. Not bad for a few lines of text.

As you begin using this system, you should know that while the exact words you use are pretty important, the main thing to worry about right now is following the 3 principles I just laid out (and I KNOW they work because I’ve been using them successfully myself for quite some time now).

And that’s part of the beauty of it: you no longer need to stress over what to say.

Next time you get a number, you just need to remember these 3 principles as you recall the interaction and you’ll naturally know how to follow up with her.

It’s OK if it feels weird the first time you try it — it’s something new. But remember, if you aren’t happy with the results you’re getting right now, the only way to change that is to change what you’re doing.

So give it a shot and allow yourself the opportunity to see what happens. What’s the worst that could happen? What’s the *best* that could happen?

I’ll finish with one last note: if you are still following a 3-day or any other kind of rule about how long to wait until you send the first text, cut it out already!

The feeling of attraction is fleeting, so you have to strike while the iron is hot.

Don’t give her time for the memory of you to fade away… or, even worse, get replaced by another guy. You should almost always text a girl within hours of getting her number, and never later than the next day.

And if you want to learn even more texting strategies, you can get my new guide right here totally free. You’ll get a thorough, step-by-step system for consistently turning phone numbers into awesome dates. And if you’re like most guys, it will start giving you results tonight already. Check it out here.

The 5 Types of Pick Up Lines.

5. The Direct Approach

This is the most powerful but also the most risky of these pick up lines.  It’s the equivalent of going all-in when you’re playing poker.  The important thing with this opener is that you need to have zero hesitation.  The moment you feel that kick in your chest you have to act.  You see a beautiful woman and you act on your emotions.  That’s the type of man who uses this approach.  You walk up to her and say the following:

“You’re so beautiful, if I didn’t come and say something I would be kicking myself all day.”

It seems simple but that’s the point.  This is the sniper of conversation starters.  You can modify the sentence based on your personality, but the structure is important.  She is beautiful.  You had to act.  You acted because that’s the kind of person you are.  NOT because you care about her reaction.   This distinction is very powerful.

4.  The Extremely Indirect Approach

This is the opposite approach to the direct approach.  With this pua opener you say something so far from a pickup line, that she will say something to you.  This is the most low reward of all possible conversation starters.  Most likely she will answer your question and simply walk away.  You transmit no information to her.  She has no idea that you might be interested or interesting.  Yet this is one of the most common approaches I see guys do in club after club.  This involves such lines as :

“What time does this club close?”  “Do you know any other cool bars around here?”  “Where is the bathroom?”  “What time is it?”

You have to say something AMAZING for your second sentence to make up for the weakness of this conversation starter.  It’s only a pickup line in the loosest sense of the word.  You might as well try something a little bit stronger like the next one.

3.  The Indirect Approach

This approach is very popular among pickup artists and guys new to the dating scene.  When used properly it is extremely popular.  It is the bread and butter of mystery method and many other similar styles of pickup.  The idea here is to say something that it’s so intriguing that it takes her attention away from the fact that your a stranger and instead makes her and her friends focus on the question you ask.  So the test for if a question is a good indirect opener is if girls pay more attention to that then the fact that you are a stranger.

Here are some examples of indirect openers (pick up lines) that I have used successfully more than 1,000 times each.

“Who lies more, cats or dogs?’

“If you thought your boyfriend was cheating, would you check his email?”

“If you thought your boyfriend was cheating, would you check his phone?”

The last two are very similar and the truth is that they are all you will need.  I have taught those two lines to hundreds of guys in different countries and they ALWAYS work.  They are super interesting and women love to talk about relationships.  If you only memorize one pickup line, choose one of these two.  You will spark some amazing conversations instantly.

2. The Situational Approach

Now we are talking about something extremely powerful, simply because it cannot be memorized.  The power of this approach is that you are reacting to your environment.  You have to be quick on your feet to think of something good to say.  I will give you some powerful examples here so that you can see how they work.  This is a more advanced type of pua opener, but if you can learn to think this way you will really change your life.

“Wow, this bar is really crowded”

“I love how everyone here looks exactly the same.”

If a girl sneezes – “Do you have bird flu?”

This type of opener is complex because it has to fit the situation.  The idea is to make it super casual and not serious.  Here you are just getting the first sentence out of the way and you are off to the races.  Each situation will be different so you want to build up to this approach.

1.  The Neutral Opener

This type of pua opener is powerful AND easy.  Which makes me think you are going to love it.  These are situational openers that you can pretty much use all the time. The don’t transmit interest of disinterest, which means you have a nice neutral footing to start from.  90% of women will react positively to these and you get to find out how she treats strangers within 5 seconds of talking to her.

The easiest place to start your conversations is at the bar.  I always line up behind women at the bar.  What’s the point in standing behind a bunch of guys?  You’re just wasting your time.  Once your behind some women, you want to say something that you would just as easily say to a man.

“Are you guys in line?”

“Are you guys ordering together?”

“I love how they have 2 bartenders for 500 thirsty people.”

These are all really simple statements but they will get you well on your way to a nice conversation.

Final Thoughts on Pick Up Lines

They don’t have to be hard or complex.  Starting a conversation is only a big deal if you make it a big deal.  What you really want to do is just relax and let your pua openers flow.  As soon as that happens, conversations will come easily and often.  As you know starting the conversation is just the beginning.

I hope you enjoyed these powerful pick up lines.  And guys please let me know what you thought of this post by leaving a comment or question below.  I really do love your feedback and it helps me get better at what I do – Teaching you Pick Up Lines.

What is Social Proof?

Social proof is based on how our minds work.  If we see a group of people we look for similarities.  Our brains are always looking for short cuts.  If you see a guy standing with 20 scientists in lab coats, you will assume he is a scientist.

We really hone this way of thinking in high school, where we really began to lump people into groups.  Depending on when you went to high school you probably had jocks, nerds, cheerleaders, theater kids, goth kids – maybe now you have emo kids or punks.  If you dress like you fit with a group, people outside that group will think you are a part of it.  They judge you based on your associations.

How Can You Use Social Proof?

It’s all about perception.  It’s not about reality.  The first change you should make, especially if you are a beginner at learning to meet women, is that when you get rejected you should walk away with your head held high.  Most guys walk away like a dog that’s just been hit with a newspaper.  Tail between it’s legs.  So the whole room can see how dejected they feel.  This sends the wrong social message to everyone who’s looking.

Nobody actually knows what he said to her and what she said to him.  They are just filling in the gaps based on body language.  So if you walk away like the conversation went really well and you have a big smile on your face, you can absorb some of her social status in the minds of the masses.  People will assume it went well based on your body language.  Let them.

Another great way to build social proof is to just talk to everyone in the bar or club like you have known them for ages.  Then when you start talking to the girls you are interested in, they will think you already know everyone.  If you seem like the popular guy, she will treat you like the popular guy.

I like to show up at a club with several girls, so that I look like I already have some good action going on.  Most girls only care if you are with girls, not how beautiful they are.  You can actually climb a social proof ladder in a single night.  If you are doing really well with a 3, it’s easy to turn and start talking to a 4.  In just 7 conversations you can have serious attraction with a 10.  She just saw you talking to a 9, which means you are in the same league.

Online Game

I’m not as obsessed with social proofing my facebook page or my myspace as I used to be.  I have tons of pics of me with hot girls all over the place and it certainly impresses other guys.  But I just don’t like to use facebook as a segway into real dating.  If I met a girl on the streets I get her phone number not her facebook.  It is coming up more right now because I’m in Hawaii and half of the sets are girls on vacation.

I can tell you that it’s a great way to make guys respect you more.  Let’s be honest.  The picture at the top of this post looks badass and it makes me look badass.  What’s cooler than having a smoking hot chick advertising how awesome you are?

Remember Social Proof is about perception – not reality.  What was your first thought when you saw that picture?  Did you think it’s my girlfriend? Is it just a girl I met on facebook?  A girl I slept with once?  My cousin? A model I paid to take the picture?

Think about your first reaction to that image.  Unless you are a total dick, you had a positive reaction.  You probably thought damn, that is badass, I’m gonna read this post.  So if social proof can work on you, then it will work on the girls you like.

You can create a powerful online image by posting tons of pictures of you looking awesome and with girls you only talked to for 5 minutes in the club.  There is nothing wrong with that.  You can also email a ton of girls you don’t know and ask them to write sexy posts on your facebook wall to make you look cool.  Tell them you are trying to make your ex jealous.  A few girls will write you lame emails about girl power and a bunch will think it’s funny and write cool stuff on your wall.

Bend Reality

I’m going to be teaching a lot of super advanced material on my new training course which I will be launching shortly, but I want to give you a taste of what is possible.  You can create social proof even when there is no one around.  It’s about acting like the person you want to be.

When I tell stories to a girl, I tell them from the perspective I want her to see.  I was with a girl on Saturday, skinny dipping in the pool, and I wanted her to feel massive attraction towards me and to see me as a sexual being.  I may write a field report and go into a ton of detail, I haven’t decided yet.  But the key element is that I acted like a person with sex in their life.  I don’t shy away from mentioning that I have women in my life.  I just act like it’s reality.  And she reacts to it.

I will expand a lot more on how to bend reality later, as it’s the future of game in my opinion and will skyrocket anyone to the next level.

I recently read the book Sole Survivor.  It’s about the journey of a guy who became a Navy Seal and then barely survived after his entire team is killed in front of him in Afghanistan.  The book is amazing and super intense and it’s a totally true story.

Today I want to talk with you about something from the first part of the book – Navy Seal Training.  If you have ever watched Discovery Channel then you have probably seen some Navy Seals training.  I have met several Navy Seals in my life and these guys are some seriously tough bastards.  During the training there is a bell on the beach that anyone can ring to say that he’s quit.  After you ring the bell, they give you a second chance.  Only a few guys actually take that second chance and get back to doing pushups in the surf at 3am.  But NONE of those guys ever actually complete the Navy Seals training.  None of them.

You know why?  Their spirit has already broken.  Once there is a crack, it’s easy for it to break again.  Ringing that bell a second time is a hell of a lot harder than the first time.

The guys who actually pass through all the training have already decided that they will either complete the training or die trying.  They don’t have a third option.  There’s a reason these guys are on the front line.

So how does this relate to meeting women?  Well let me tell you.

I get calls and emails from guys about training all the time.  In London I taught hundreds of guys  and in that time I learned to be able to tell who would succeed and who wouldn’t.  The reason I became so good so fast is that when I read The Game I made a decision.  I would master pickup or I would die trying.  I would not give up without leaving a lot of my blood on the floor.  And if you read from my first six months in pickup there is a lot of bleeding.  I failed so much, but I never gave up.  I never considered ringing the bell.  But every single guy who does always falls short.

It was this way for all the guys I came up with and it’s that way for guys now.  My lovesystems bootcamp was so expensive for me.  I was a full time student at the time just scraping by with a tutoring gig.  It took me THREE months after my bootcamp to pay it off.  And guess what?  I fought and bled for that money.  And I worked my ass off in my bootcamp.  It was a fight or die scenario for me.

I get calls from guys who just don’t want to put in the effort.  And there’s nothing I can do.  When a guy calls me to cancel a session I know that he’s ringing the bell and it breaks my heart.  There are tons of excuses I hear.  And I’m really not trying to call anyone specific out here.  This has happened to me about 30 times in my teaching career.  The moment a guy says he can’t afford it or doesn’t have time or wants to get good enough to use his lesson with me well.  All I hear is a ringing bell.  I am insanely good at sales.   I could talk any guy into taking a lesson from me.

But if it doesn’t come from within then it won’t last.  It’s sad but it’s just the way life is.  If you want to succeed at something, remove all other options from the table.

I might sound like a dick right now, but if there’s one thing about me I practice what I preach.  I just signed a contract with a new gym today that is KILLING me.  I am flying to Hawaii in 21 days for a month.  I told the guys I want to lose 20 pounds before my flight takes off.  I will do whatever it takes.  I am retraining my heart and my body and it hurts so bad.  But I don’t have a third option.  I have zero doubt that I will be looking super sexy before I hit the island.  And guess what?  When I get back I’m doing another month before I try to move permanently.  I want it so bad I can taste it.

So if you want to get good at pickup – beg, borrow and steal to get the training you need.  And please.  Don’t even think about ringing that bell.

Now I didn't originate the idea of a photo routine, but there are parts of this that I though of myself.  I probably didn't do anything other than re-invent the wheel, but I thought I would share this anyway.  I learned about photo routines from my first coach Stickler back in Guildford, so I wanna be sure to give him love.

The Purpose -

Whenever you are taking a photo with a girl, as with any "routine," pattern, piece of conversation, escalation or whatever you want to call it, you need to know WHY you are doing it.  The WHY will determine the effectiveness of the operation.  If you just take pictures to take pictures, well you won't accomplish anything. 

1.  To have a ton of pictures with hot girls – Let's not lie to each other.  This is the main reason we take pictures with girls.  We wanna throw them on our facebook page so that we can tell our friends we have social proof.  We want to attach them to field reports so that guys from the internet will respect us. 

Guess what?  That's a 100% legitimate reason to take a picture with a girl.  Building up your facebook page will slowly build up your social status, but the main thing that having a ton of hot girls on your facebook page does is make you feel good about yourself.  It builds up your confidence and this is a KEY element of all the dating systems I have ever encountered. 

A lot of guys will take a shitload of pictures when they are first learning game.  This will last for about 6 months.  I am not sure why, but it is usually about this long.  I went from pictures of every set to pictures here and there, to once a month or at a big party.

2.  To build attraction – You can spike attraction early in a set by taking a bunch of photos with a girl.  It's fun and girls love to by photographed when they are out.  Just because it only took you 15 minutes to get dressed, doesn't mean she spent less than an hour.  Girls only go out if they look amazing, so they are photo-ready.

With this goal in mind, you take the photos fast and early, but you don't push for the kiss.  This is more about having a ton of fun.  Think of all those Japanese girls that love puricura.  (the photobooth shit)

3.  To build rapport - It's later in the set and you are struggling to get past attraction.  You only have a tenuous connection with the girl.  You can tell she likes you but you want to tie her to that second date.

In this case you will focus on taking rapport building pictures.  Instead of you/her pictures you want US pictures.  Girls like taking romantic or fun photos and this is an easy way to get that facebook close.  She will want to be tagged in photos where she looks cute.  It makes you real.

4.  To escalate -  Let's not fuck around.  This is the main reason I rock the photo routine.  It doesn't matter where you are in set if you get this right, so I am really going to focus on this part.  I only break out the camera to get some pictures of a tongue war.  And the example photos below are of this version of the routine.

The preparation

You need to plan this in advance.  The first thing you need to do is get the right camera.  I know it seems obvious, but cell phone pics still look like shit when compared to digital camera pics.  I have been rocking the same camera for 5 years now and it's still taking way better photos than my new badass blackberry. 

Equipment

I use a Casio Exilim.  I bought the bitch in Japan in 2005.  That's right.  I'm that old.  And this camera is my fucking soulmate.  I took like 5k pictures of my oneitis with it.  I took pictures in Thailand, South Korea, Cambodia, Japan, Sweden, Austria, and England with it.  It has been there for my whole journey.  It broke once.  Like the zoom motor broke.  I took it to an electronics shop in Japan and they fixed it for like 80 bucks. It's been perfect ever since.

I bought this camera for 2 very important reasons.  Everyone I knew who had been in Japan for more than a year had the same camera.  In a country where electronics kick ass, to see 10 people saying the same camera is awesome is a BIG sign.  The other reason is more important.  It's the exact width of my fingers.  Most fuckers don't think of this shit.  But I get drunk…A LOT.  So some of the newer version of this camera are a little difficult for me to hold.  Translation – I will drop them.  I mean I am pretty sure that in 5 years I have dropped this camera 3-4 times.  But it's endured.  Also if a camera is too thick, you will hold it different each time.  That's no good.  So get one that fits your hand.

The case for your camera is also something to consider.  If you got keys or your phone in the same pocket the thing is gonna get knocked around.  I have a case that my camera slips into.  It basically adds like 2mm on 5 of the 6 sides of the camera.  It's not a big stupid camera case with room for film or whatever.  I love it and it's SMALL.  Remember you don't wanna wear like a fishing vest filled with your "pickup gear."

The 2 Ps – Plan and Partner

This is like the most important part of the photo routine.  You gotta let your wing in on it.  You need to have a 5 minute discussion with him about what to do.  2 years ago I almost punched Keychain in the face for fucking up my photo routine.  You wanna make sure that your wing remembers that he is your friend and doesn't start doing that old school lame ass "alpha" shit like start taking pictures of himself and then hand the camera back. 

Instead let him know that HE is crucial.  When he has the camera girls RESPECT him.  Think about how we treat photographers our whole lives.  Our brains are programmed to obey them.  And if a girl is a model, well then she really can't resist the commands of a camera man.

Your wing is important for 2 reasons – he can escalate on your behalf AND he is a buffer.  If I can get a girl to kiss me on the cheek, then my wing can convince her to lick my cheek.  This is a picture that Stickler took where he told 2 girls to lick the side of my face.  He took like 3 pix but this is the best one.  And BOTH of these girls had boyfriends like 5 feet away.

He is a great buffer because if the girl rejects his escalation, it doesn't affect you.  You can just burn him.  If your buddy is like "make out!" and she freaks out.  Just be like ignore him, he's always making trouble.  And BOOM. You protected her.  So you can still get points.

Strike Time

Now you do NOT need a reason to take a photo with a girl.  Just in the middle of chatting say "Let's take a photo."  It's that simple.  Don't make it a big deal.  If you are opening with a photo routine then you might need something else. 

Goal 1 - If your goal is a ton of pics with hot girls then just do a speed version of this routine.  Walk up to girls and say you are on vacation and you want pics of all the cool people from there.  Just be high energy.  Or have your wing say it's your birthday and you need pics because you are going to blackout.  This both work.  Just remember.  HIGH ENERGY.

Goal 2 - About 5 minutes into the set either brake out the camera or have your wing do it.  "You know what?  You're pretty cool.  Let's take a picture so we can treasure this moment forever."  Say something fun or cheesy like that.  Then take silly fun photos and only ratchet up for the romance at the end of the routine.  Take a normal pic.  Then underwater with cheeks puffed.  Then scared like the boulder from Temple of Doom is rolling behind you.  (Most girls I go for are too young for this movie so I just say being chased by the Abominable Snowman).  The idea here is to have fun.  You can make the final picture – Stare into each other's eyes like you are on top of the Eiffel Tower.  This is money!  Flips her romance switch.  (If you are going for a bf situation)  You gotta calibrate to what you want.  But this is an easy way to transition to comfort.

Goal 3 -  Take the pictures when you are getting to know each other.  Make it more of a travel vacation theme.  In front of the pyramids.  In a space ship.  In the future when you both have robot eyes.  Shit like this.  It's about future projecting and locational rapport.  (To show you that I DO know some fancy ass pua terms.)

You want her to imagine you in her life in the future.  And you want her to imagine you in different backgrounds.  Both of this things make her feel like she has known you longer.  She will feel more emotionally closer to you.  This is comfort/rapport/connection or whatever pickup term YOU like to use for it.

NOW THE GOOD SHIT

Goal 4 – Escalate.  If you read goals 1-3 and said fuck that noise.  Then I totally hear you.  Basically as you advance through game you will move this routine later and later in your set.  Until you get tight and then just use it whenever you want.

First the DEMO!.  These pics were taken by Tov last Friday after I taught him the basics of the routine.

I met this girl about 3 minutes before this photo was taken.  I was outside smoking and I just had a feeling.  I gave Tov the signal and he was like lemme take a photo. 

Now a beginner might look at this photo alone and thing "shit how does he do that"  but I am gonna let you guys behind the curtain.  It's all perception.  If a girl feels a little bit comfortable with you, she will fall into her normal "I'm with a guy" pose.  That's what is happening here.  YES she is attracted to me, but just a little bit.  This is her being normal for her.

This photo is about 90% good winging by Tov.  He says to her.  What the fuck are you doing?  Take a REAL photo.  He's escalating her for me.  So she leans in more.  When I am winging I will shout things like "Show me the sexy!"  But just see what girls respond to when you are the photog.  Just think paparazzi.  You can shout shit like "come on this shit is gonna be on TMZ, sex it up a little"  Any shit like that.

So now she is leaned in close.  Of course I think this pic sucks with here eyes blacked out.  It isn't as good looking as the first one.  Even though from a technical standpoint it's got a TON more kino and compliance from her.  See how my body is pointed towards the camera but her's is pointed towards me?  That's right.  Her vagina is aimed at my cock.

This picture is epic because a TON of things are happening right here.  All within about 2 seconds.  So I am gonna bring you through on slo-mo. 

Tov starts by "fucking up" my routine.  He over escalates.  He says "now kiss."  No lead in or anything.  And I start to burn him, BUT she immediately kisses me.  The student becomes the master.  It turns out that I underestimated the situation.  Or how slutty this girl is, but either way.  She complied with the full push.

So I hesitated, but the force of his will was enough to get me the makeout.  This led to about a 20 minute dirty makeout session.  The idea here is to have a good flow.

We went pictures -> sexy picture -> makeout.

The Standard Version

Now you should always be willing to vary what you do and experiment with new shit.  But this is the basic Paladin Escalation Photo Routine. (PEPR – pronounced pepper)  HAHA..  I just thought of that wicked name for this.  You can be like hey wing "Got any Paper?" and he can be like no, but I've got a fucking camera.

Ok so the photos have 3 phases.  And I usually only take 3 photos.

1.  Take a normal picture.  Anything can work here.  Just bring her in really tight.  If she gives you 6 take 7.  On the scale of like sexy photoness.  So if she snuggles a little, just push for a little more. 

2.  This is the escalation photo.  It's like preparing her for photo 3.  Depending on vibe you want to go for the Under the Ocean pic or you can push for the Can't you be Sexy pic?  Either way you are moving attraction and kino forward.

3.  The close.  Here I usually say now stare into my eyes.  Depending on vibe, you can say something like just like in Lady and the Tramp.  Or you can say somewhere romantic. 

Again if your partner knows the pattern, all you have to do is let him direct.  If you are obeying him, she will feel that and feel even more inclined to obey.

 Final Thoughts

You and your wings should just have 1 camera for the night.  I used to be the camera guy, but now I just give my camera to someone I trust.  Now some guys will take the camera and then hand it back to you at the end of the nigh without having taken a picture.  So never give that dude the camera again.  It's a waste.  For now Tov is my new camera dude because he's a maniac with it.  I just opened iphoto to get those 3 demo photos and there are like 30 pics of that fucker with different girls.  I mean really I want him taking pictures of me, but hey.  Either way it's happening.

The other thing is that if you take a club photo with a girl you probably won't fuck her.  This is pretty much why I stopped taking photos.  Whenever I think a set is really good to go, I don't take a photo.  Like these pics are from Friday.  This girl wasn't special so whatever.  But Saturday night I met a girl that was smoking hot and super cool.  I only ran 1 set all night and so I didn't break out the camera.  This might just be my personality.  So you can experiment for yourself, but keep this in mind.  Once a girl takes a pic with you a one night stand HAS to count.  Because there is proof. 

Don't take pictures to fuck with a girl.  Don't post pictures to harm her or fuck with her reputation on facebook or some shit.  For real.  I have 3 sisters and 2 nieces and I fucking love women.  So just don't use my shit for evil.

The life of a pickup artist is complex.  I have been thinking a lot lately about why people want to deny what they are.  I work with a lot of other guys in the seduction industry who say they aren’t pickup artists.  As far as I can tell, these tend to be the more dishonest guys in the community.  I feel like if you teach routine-based pickup as a profession, you are probably a pickup artist.  So why lie about it?

It seems like it’s just become trendy to say you are not a pickup artist lately.  It’s some kind of anti-The Game backlash.  Like the term pickup artist is becoming more mainstream and well-known so people now want to be called dating coaches.  Like it’s anything different.  I am proud of what I am.  I hated my life as a loser.  So I admit it.  I am a pickup artist.  I love going out to bars and meeting and seducing beautiful women.

If being surrounded by stunning and amazing women is a crime, then please slap the cuffs on me.  You can read my entire journey on this pua blog and you can see how much my life has changed.  There are a few major changes coming in the near future that are gonna blow your minds.  I am going to expand the number of people I am working with as well as move to paradise, so stay tuned.

And remember, never be ashamed of what you are.

I was really curious to see what was up with this chick.  First off all she is rough.  I mean I got into this game to meet beautiful and amazing women and this girl is wicked crazy.

All week she was making comments about how men don’t understand women.  The thing is all of her comments were the kinda crap you read in FHM or Maxim.  You know, the stuff that is totally inaccurate and useless.

Her big thing is that she is part of the EFT scam.  If you haven’t seen tapping, you are gonna love the video.  The thing is tapping is supposed to remove your anxieties.  But she taps ALL THE TIME.  It’s really hard to not laugh when you are in a seminar and this girl is tapping like a maniac.  She just taps her chest all the time.  I had a friend when I was younger who had a simliar tic.  But he had MS and if I didn’t know it was on purpose, I would think she had a nervous system disease.

So imagine you’re in a bar and you see a girl tapping her chest.  Over and Over.  It’s really fast and looks super nervous.  But she believes that you can tap anything out.  Including shit tests.  I almost died when she said that.  It’s another video highlight.

She was really weird during Hypnotica’s lecture and said she was doing some weird tantric thing.  She was being super sexual and squirmy and it really just weirded me out.  I guess she wrote something on her blog about banging a bunch of guys there.  Some of the instructors or whatever, but honestly it’s really gross to me.

When I look at a woman I look at her upper arm to see if there is hidden fat and then I look at her hands.  And based on her hands I would say Erika is mid 40s.  I don’t know her “actual” age.  I just know how old she looks.

The other weird thing is that she spends all day slathering lipstick on.  I don’t know who taught her how to use make up but it was clearly a clown or blind person.  I think she may have purchased a makeup shotgun from the Simpsons.

—

Update I wrote the above right after I left Vegas.  I felt bad that it was so harsh and the video is so rough that I wasn’t going to post either.  But she posted a bunch of lies on her blog.  I am totally not down with that.  I have written about my being a dick so many times on here that you know I only tell the truth.  Writing all this stuff about Vegas has probably hurt my career but I gotta do what I believe.

Anyways, the thing that really upset me is that on her blog she called the two girls that her friends abused “porn stars” the girls are actually models who mostly do events like car shows.  So I think that was really lame.  She was trying to make her story sound cooler, but it’s not cool in my book.  I think there is a huge difference between getting paid to stand next to a car in short shorts and getting banged on camera.  I think both professions are cool, but I feel like these girls deserve a little honesty.

I personally dabbled with tapping when I first got into game.  It’s totally a placebo at best.  The hours you have to put in to make a difference are insane.  Time spend in the actual field is worth 10x as much.  And for real you can’t tap away shit tests.  As soon as a girl catches you tapping, you are burned.

Somehow a single facebook update has put me at the center of some major pickup industry drama.  But I have no regrets.  You live and learn and sometimes you gotta risk your career just to stand up for what you believe in.

I am going to write an individual post reviewing each coach I met this week, but for now I will just give you the highlights.  I walked out of the entire things yesterday.  Along with one of the paying students.  3 others told me they wanted refunds for how badly they were treated and lied to.

Highlights -

1. Johnny didn't do a SINGLE demo the entire week

2. Most of the coaches took one workshop with him a year ago and started a dating company

3. I got drunk one night and yelled at a coach to open a set or quit the business.  So far he has done neither.

4. Only one coach got laid all week.  Unfortunately, he spent all his time doing that instead of coaching the students.  To be honest I don't blame him, as neither of us realized the other coaches were terrible until much later in the week.

5.  Nearly every coach and student was forced to change rooms at 10am during the week.  I actually had to change rooms 5 times in 5 days.  Due to horrible planning.

6.  The title of the event was learn to pick up porn stars at the AVN expo.  The students were never allowed to go to the AVN.  I asked several times and so did several students.  We were all told it wasn't good this year and that more seminars would be a better use of time.

7.  The students were sold on going to a super elite private fetish porn start afterparty.  Three of the students were turned away from the event for not being on the list.

8.  EVERY SINGLE coach who went to the party got in by taking a prostitute – Except for my man Orleans.

9.  Two students missed the infield events two nights in a row – and nobody noticed except for me.

10. Steve P and Future never came.  And I found out that although he was advertised for months, Orleans was only booked 3 days before the event.

11. The most authority was given to Hristiyan Atanasov.  He opened zero sets all week and was shot down over and over.  He had the balls to say in seminar that he isn't good at picking up women, he is good at getting picked up. 

12.  This "coach" tricked to models into coming into a seminar, positioned them on barstools next to the window with 20 strange guys between them and the door and then proceeded to make them so uncomfortable that by the end one of the girls said she wanted to slap him.  (This review is gonna BLOW YOUR MINDS)

13.  One of the students stormed out of the seminar he was so offended and nobody paid attention.

14.  Most of the students got zero in-field coaching as all of the coaches were too busy trying to meet girls themselves.

15.  AFC Adam's dad was forced to room with me, even though the poor guy is 70 and doesn't deserve to be in such an awkward situation.

16.  Erika Awakening told a student that you can use EFT to "tap away shit-tests" – don't worry I actually got this on video.

17.  I ended up calling my dad 4 days into the workshop nearly in tears telling him I wanna come home from summer camp early.  I am in VEGAS and I wanted to go home.  It was that bad.

18.  The students were taken to the same bar in field 5 nights in a row.  The ratio was never better than 20-1, but they were told that they needed to tighten up their game.

19.  The students who signed up for an event called "Picking Up Porn Stars" were told that this was NOT a pickup event upon arrival.

20.  Everyone was housed in timeshare apartments instead of any of the nice hotels on the strip.

21.  A student and I got a room in a nice hotel for less than the workshop was charging and nobody cared.

22.  Johnny didn't even react until I posted a comment on facebook that I left a bad bootcamp.

23.  The students were brought to a last minute intervention because of my post and ONLY because I said they had all used the word refund with me and promised 1on1 infield with Johnny on Sunday – then THAT didn't even happen.

It has been 24 hours since I walked out of the bootcamp.  Before I left I tried to speak to Johnny and I did speak to several of the other coaches.  Nobody took any action until my comment on facebook.  I had forgotten how many coaches I'm friends with.  At first I was called a traitor.  Then for a while I was being accused of running a secret bootcamp behind the scenes.  THEN I was accused of sabotaging the whole event.  Finally, I was told that if they had known I was coaching in field I would have been told to stop, as an event called "Picking Up Porn Stars" was not about pickup but was about transcending the modern mindset. 

To be honest I REALLY TRIED to get down with this system and learn about moving my life to the next level.  In the end I learned that the core of the system is about lying to women and trying to bang as many married women as possible.  All week the talk was about emancipating women and freeing them from tying their sexuality to economics.  I thought that concept was cool.  Until I heard his "top students" talking about how they just wanted to bang some bitches this week.  I was so uncomfortable with how people talked about women all week that I wanted to leave days ago.  I have three sisters, a mom and two nieces.  Unlike the rest of these guys I think of women as people and apparently that is just all wrong.

I am trying not to sound bitter or anything, but instead to be totally honest about my experience.  Obviously, bringing me to this event was a mistake as I can't sit idly by and let students get screwed.  There are too many charlatans in this business.  All week people were bitching about Sinn hating  on Johnny. I met Sinn once and to be honest, the dude is pretty much a dick, but he IS a good instructor and his blog is good.  I have recommended it in the past.  Anyways, get ready for a ton more drama.  Johnny is already emailing other companies saying what a dick I am.

For me this show was such an addiction.  It’s basically mindless drivel.  I used to listen to it on the train, while I was playing video games and just when I was walking around the city.  It’s not evil or anything.  I don’t have a problem with the filth etc. Like most people who complain about this show do.  It’s something else.

First of all, it’t not great to pour mindless stuff into my head 4-5 hours a day.  That is just a lot.  Also that adds up to sometimes 20 hours a week.  That is a part time job.  That means that this show was having more influence on me than anything else in my life.  That is a lot of time to something that is at best non-productive.  I have been trying to quit for a while because it limits my productivity.

Also I am really emotionally empathic.  For example when I’m reading a serial killer book, I keep looking over my shoulder.  When I read a sci-fi book, I dream of robots and space travel.  Listening to this show often puts me into a negative state or a victim mentality.  At best it turns off my talking and puts me into a purely listener state.  So that if I’m on the train and I see a cute girl, listening to this on my ipod creates a bigger hurdle for the approach.  I have to turn off the show and change my state, just to open.  That’s too much work.

Even worse is the frame that the show imposes.  Beautiful women have all the power and men must serve.  Only by being rich can one hope to snag a beautiful woman.  It’s just all too much of the wrong frame.  The world is only like that if you believe it.  It’s not the way to be.  Women don’t have that kind of power over men and there is more to life than just looks.  Honestly, listening to this show and not paying attention just implants the exact reverse of the mindset I want.  I date women that are unreasonably good looking in my estimation.  So this show is incongruent with my world.  I can’t have two things in my life that are at war.

So think about the things you watch and listen to.  They influence you.  I still keep wanting to listen to this show.  At some points it’s so hilarious.  But I can’t live within that negative frame anymore, life is just too good.

So I have been seeing a Welsh girl for a few weeks.  Think I’ve mentioned her a few times.  She doesn’t kiss til the 3rd date.  After our 2nd date she stopped returning my texts.  It took me a full week to notice.  So I sent her a message asking if she’d stopped returning my texts.  I didn’t feel anything.

A few years ago I would have stressed over every single unreturned text.  Now I send out a couple hundred messages a week to girls and mates, so one can slip through the cracks.  It takes me a long time to notice if someone is actively trying to pull away.

No idea why it ended with her.  I wish I could say that I cared, but I’m already on to the next girl.  It’s kind of a shame how girls become so replaceable after a time.  If I leave my house I meet someone beautiful.  I don’t know if this is a good or a bad thing.  I don’t pursue relationships like I used to.