So I work on a radio station once a week.  Just spinning the records I love for the fans that I adore.  So there is a girl I have seen there once before with a really sexy body.  She is older than me and I feel like the graduate around her.  I was really flirty with her last time I saw her, but I wasn’t sure if she was a lesbian and I didn’t want to create an awkward situation in front of a girl that I thought might be her girlfriend.

This time I am setting up and she is in the studio too.  I make sure she’s the last one to leave and I escalate like a maniac.  I use my new number close move from the L Word.  I just go direct.  I think you’re sexy and I wanna kiss you and I want to call you.  I really create a ton of sexual tension, but I can’t take it too far as I have records to spin.  I get her number and she escapes.

I send her a ton of sexual texts and she is responding big time.  I push and hope she’ll invite me straight over after my show but no dice.  The next day I continue my text barrage and get a date set up.  She lives almost an hour away from my be train.  So I make sure she meets near my house.  I also tell her to dress sexy.

We meet up and bounce through my 3 favorite bars near my house.  I spend a couple of hours with her playing the question game and trying to work on my rapport. We are building a nice connection, but she mentions her age constantly.  She keeps subcommunicating that she doesn’t know why I want to be around her.  I’m trying not to let it kill my mood.  I keep chatting and we play the questions game for ages.  I keep building sexual tension with deep gazes.  Finally when the moment is right we kiss.

And my God.  She is the worst kisser I have ever encountered.  I have tried to describe it to a few people but I really can’t with just words.  Basically it’s like kissing an Alien.  She pulls her lips back and just uses her teeth.  I think I really let myself down because I didn’t say anything.  I was like she’s 35 and will freak out if someone as much younger as me tries to correct her.  But it was HORRIBLE.  So instead of going for a makeout I kept kissing her neck.  Anything to avoid her mouth.  I swear I don’t know who taught her that, but I hate them…..So I build more rapport just to avoid having to kiss her.

It’s a 10 minutes walk to my place from the last one, but I keep telling her there’s one more place I love.  We are walking and she asked about 5 times about our destination.  I stick with what Sebastian Drake taught me and keep it vague.  I keep saying I got a couple of places in mind.  Suddenly, we are near my place and I have to pee like a racehorse.

So I say I need to pop in to use the toilet.  I nearly run up the stairs and pee for like 5 minutes straight.  What irony!  I set a record at the worst possible moment.  I drag her into my room and throw her onto the bed.  I start really escalating and playing with her boobs, but she is like I don’t put out on the first date.  I almost mention that her clock is ticking big time.  But I stay my ground.

She asks me what I want to happen tonight.  So I say ideally my penis inside her vagina.  She was like and what if that doesn’t happen?  So I say I would like my penis inside her mouth.  Maybe I was too direct?  I meant we’re on my bed with the lights out.  She tells me that she doesn’t give head.  I jump up off the bed and say “They still make you?!?  I thought that model was discontinued!!”  Then I realize I might have broken too much rapport, as she is from an older generation.  But seriously.  That is not ok.

I actually step around the corner in the hall.  I now know I could never have a relationship with her.  And I know why she lives alone.  I meant no head and terrible kissing?  Why does she even have a mouth.  I really liked her and found her sexy and intruiging, but she is making all the wrong moves.  I come back into the room and we mess around some more.  She clearly isn’t gonna have sex with me and I push, but probably not enough.  She keeps saying she has to take the train home for work.  I try to stop her a few times, but not enough.

I learned a lot from this experience about going direct and escalating CaliPimp style, but I need to do more work on my rapport.

UPDATE – We texted some the next day.  She LJBFd me.  I let her know that I have friends.  I really don’t have any desire to be friends with her, as she lives super far away and had the audacity to try and next me.  I sent her some more texts and about 5 days later she stopped replying.  I have no regrets on that front.