One Hell of a Birthday

I spent 24 hours celebrating my 29th birthday with a host of my lovely friends.  I have to say that it was one hell of a crazy and hectic night…ok it lasted two nights. I started by hitting White Wedding.

At least 30 or 40 lovely people showed up just for me.  From TeaBag to YumYum.  It was really amazing.  I remember a lot of shots and cocktails.  I cut the sleeves off my tuxedo to show off my glamour muscles.

I put a new temp tattoo on my right bicep.  Lord of the Rings.  One ring to rule them all, one ring to bind them.  Let’s be honest.  I looked badass redneck.Originally ghost was gonna cut off his sleeves too, but of course at the last minute he chickened out.  He’s a great housemate, but he just lacks the power to go full awesome.  I was chilling with some lovely people and then YumYum finally shows up.  And he has cut off his entire shirt.

Attention stealing bastard.

Everyone really looked great.  I met a ton of people and took a ton of pictures.   At one point I did a ten minute photo session upstairs.  Only one of the photos got posted to their site, but it looks awesome and it’s my new facebook profile photo.  Unfortunately, they ended the party at like 130.  And I think we all know that that is way too soon.  So Iceberg dropped a bunch of us off at Cable. I have never been to the club before, but the girl with us was worried that we wouldn’t get in with our outfits.

I gotta say that is was one filthy club and dropped the worst techno ever.  I swear I think they played only one record the entire five hours or something that we were there.  I met some girl at the bar with really cool boobs.  I must have chatted to her almost an hour.

Unfortunately, I was super drunk and she slipped through my fingers. I saw her again a few hours later, but wasn’t able to chat anymore.  I met some other girls through Ghosts “friend.”  They were calling me Hitch, so I knew I would have to yap about work.  In my experience talking about work with girls gets them excited, but also keeps my dick outside of their vaginas.  I was so hammered, but this still proved to be the case.  One of the girls was cute, but no dice.

Around 6 or something Ghost, YumYum and I decide to call it quits.  Ghost was ready to leave the moment we walked in anyways.  So we left his “lady-friend” and jumped in a taxi. I throw YumYum on the couch and hit the sack.

By noon he is crawling into my bed and trying to convince me to go to the Church.  This is a crazy Australian day club in north London.  Everyone wears costumes and drinks a ton of Fosters.  At first I was hating it.  Most of the girls weren’t that pretty and I hate drinking beer.  It’s just so much hard word to get twisted!  Even in my debauchery I like to be efficient.

At some point October and Machine joined us.  I chatted to Machine about the possibility of living together in Hawaii in a few months.  That would be super badass.  So we chat up some girls for a bit and eventually a girl pulls my shirt off.  At this point things start to get a bit hazy.  I found pictures of me kissing at least 5 different girls in my camera.  Which is a pretty good result. After Church closed we went to a Walkabout in west London.

That bastard YumYum kept buying vodka and redbull.  You should never have more than one of these in a single day.  For real. So we were partying and kept meeting new girls all over this joint.  I kissed two really pretty girls.  But I only know this from my camera.  Glad I brought it for once!  I lost Yums for at least an hour in there somewhere.

I remember I was outside talking to a really hot black girl and we just started making out.  Then Yums comes out and is really crying.  He can’t find either of his jackets and he’s cold. So I leave the girl behind to help him.

We look all over the club and after 30 minutes find his gear.  Right as the joint is closing.  For some reason I actually got this girls number, which I never do, and I started texting her.  I was taking care of Yums, who had been blacked out for hours and was making a scene in front of McDonalds.  I can only say that it was pretty special.

Finally, I am like dude you HAVE to let me try and get laid.  I walk off to find my girl.

Needless to say I get the most dramatic phone call of my life from him.  He is on about how I’ll never see him again and he’s going off to war and he loves and misses me.  It was insane. I find the girl and get a few kisses out of her.  She goes home with her friends though and I am left stranded hours from my apartment.

I have missed the last train based on false intel from YumYum! I end up waiting almost an hour for a bus to my house and of course some dude starts talking to me at the bus stop.  He gives me a flyer to LOOK AT and then takes it back.  I really wanted to throw it away and he stole that right from me!!!

I gotta say it’s impressive how people can start a conversation with someone on the street and end by asking for spare change.  My 2nd time in a week at a bus stop.   I’m sure you remember the guy last week who threatened to knife me and then asked for change.

People are pretty drawn to my awesome. I have a date with the black girl later today.  She might cancel as I just posted my facebook pics from the festivities….Or maybe she will be glad that she was the last girl I kissed on my bender.  Also, my tongue was super sore from a full day!