Notes from Japan 1 – Skinship
As you know I lived in Japan for two years and it has massively affected my gaming style and fashion. Today I want to talk to you about one of the most powerful words I learned during my time in Japan. Skinship: Human to human touch. In Japan there is a great deal of emphasis placed on this. And it is sorely lacking in most western cultures….
My first day in Japan I saw teenage boys lying across each other, massaging each other, and hugging each other. My first thought was that all of Japan is gay. In fact, it’s nearly the opposite. The standard assumption is that men are not gay, therefore they can really express themselves with non-sexual touch. The Japanese have realized that as humans we crave skin on skin contact. There is far more physical openness as all Japanese go to onsen, or public bathhouses, and bathe in public in the nude.
Im the western world there has been a steady decline in human to human contact for centuries. First men stopped touching women as form of sexual repression. Then men stopped touching men as a way of suppressing their homosexuality, even when they were straight. If you notice, often when girls see each other they run up and hug. If two men did the same thing, we would immediately think they are gay. Only recently did I start to question the logic in this. I knew two naturals, who hugged each other every time they saw each other and said something emotional and kind. It’s really powerful. I started to emulate them as I wanted to improve my game. Just last night, a guy I’m friends with was over with my house mate. I walked in on them chilling in my house mates room at about 1am, super drunk. My friend tried to shake my hand and I said I don’t think so and hugged him. He was hesitant for a second, but then he almost broke my back with a long strong hug. As soon as I made it ok for him to express skinship, he expressed a lot more than me.
In Japanese culture there is a great deal of emphasis placed on the greater good, which I will explore in another article. People express skinship in their relationships as a way of being there for each other. It’s a way of giving value. This is something very valuable, that I think we would do well to bring into our society. I often quote the powerful line from Tommy Boy “Brothers don’t shake hands, brothers hug!”
When I first started this whole thing, I really freaked out about kino, like everybody else. But not-kinoing is more unnatural. There are a million non-sexual ways to give people physical affirmation. I decided that I wanted to be a guy who has a lot of touch in his life, so that kino will just be congruent. So I touch men and women. I hug girls in set constantly, and not just my target. The new centerpiece of my theory is that of giving out as much value as possible. I want everyone to feel better after they meet me, and for some deep reason, hugs make us feel better.
There are hundreds of articles on how important touch is for babies. Babies that don’t get a ton of touch from their mothers right from birth often have massive psychological issues. There are a ton of studies you can read on google scholar about effect of gentle human touch (GHT) on infants. As we grow our needs do not change. I try to hug all of my friends and I am trying to increase the amount in my life. Often we can go through an entire day without actually touching another person, this is so common in big cities and a massive part of why people can feel lonely surrounded by other people.
Japanese people have higher levels of skinship because people just aren’t as worried about seeming gay. We could learn a lot from this. I am sure I’m not gay, so I should be able to have tons of non-sexual touch with my friends. I will close by relating one final story. One of my favorite students at a school where I struggled most days was a sweet 14 year old girl. One day she saw me during lunch time and ran at me to hug me. I pulled back, because in America it’s really inappropriate for a male teacher to hug a female student. Her feelings were really hurt. My refusing to touch her in a way acceptable in her society really hurt her feelings. I denied her skinship and it changed our relationship drastically in class from that point on.
So in conclusion, our mindset shouldn’t be to only touch people for the purpose of sexual escalation. Touch should just be part of our lives, how we give affirmation. Touch is a massive part of how we communicate. Then it will naturally flow that when you are communicating sexually, your touch-based communication will go along with it naturally.
Skinship (??????) is a wasei-eigo, or a Japanese word coined using English root origins, initially to describe the closeness between a mother and her child due to the physical contact of their skin. Skinship develops through breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby massage or simply by carrying and holding your baby.
This is my personal seduction affirmation list. It’s mostly to help me be successful with women but also has a lot to do with having self-esteem, confidence and a healthy psychological state of being. Feel free to use it and share it with others. It took me a long time to build this list and I have found it extremely helpful. Using these affirmations has forever changed my life and I’m sure it will change yours too!
Everything in your life has to do with your psychological state of being. You are your thoughts and your thoughts are you. Change your mind and you change the world. Your external reality is nothing more than a reflection of your internal reality. Do not look out there, look within. Work on your inner self and inner world first then everything else will change for the better.
Perception is Reality. How you perceive the exterior world determines what your experience of it will be. These affirmations may seem outrageous because they are. Embrace them absolutely and completely, trust me on this one! The human mind cannot tell the difference between what is real and imagined. Being “delusional” is how you get good at life.
Beliefs of Naturals – My Reality
Read 3 times before bed and in the morning(do it for a for month) Record in the second person. Play recording on a loop continuously at a low volume(whisper). Play recording during the day and at night while sleeping.
1. Being with me is the best possible choice for any woman.
2. Women love men and especially love me.
3. I love life!
4. I am God. I am Perfect. This is my universe!
5. I am fearless, courageous and bold!!!
6. I read incredibly fast!
7. Women love sex and want sex from me.
8. My intelligence, creativity and potential is infinite!
9. I am exceptionally social and outgoing.
10. I am completely focused, organised and use my time with the utmost efficiency.
11. Women are nurtures and pleaser’s who want to nurture and please me.
12. I am an infinitely self-assured, confident, sexual and dominant male.
13. Everyday in every way I am better and better!!!
14. I have complete control over my life, mind and psychological state of being.
15. I am the greatest genius this world has ever seen.
16. I heal instantly!
17. I am successful, confident and achieve my goals. I exude infinite sex, power, confidence, happiness and self-love all the time.
18. I can be, do and have anything I want to in this world, my possibilities are endless!!!
19. I love myself! I am complete, fulfilled and completely happy!!!
20. I am growing more beautiful and luminous day by day.
21. Everybody loves me and all women want me! I make friends easily.
23. I access all the knowledge in the universe.
25. I am completely irresistible to women!
26. Regardless of how she is reacting to me she is getting aroused.
27. I see the underlying truth in all things.
28. I am an adventurer! I travel the world!
29. Regardless of how she is reacting to me I am the prize she is trying to win over!
30. I am a multi-millionaire and master seducer!
31. I love what I do and am richly rewarded, creatively and financially.
32. I have a perfect photographic memory! I recall everything easily.
33. Since she wants to have sex with me, the power is in my court to decide whether she lives up to my standards and expectations. I get to decide if we have sex.
34. I create my own reality!
35. Today I love my body fully, deeply and joyfully.
37. Today I open my mind to the endless opportunities surrounding me.
38. Prosperity surrounds me, prosperity fills me, prosperity flows to me and through me.
39. I have sex with super hot, confident, loving, caring and intelligent women with genius IQ’s all the time!
40. I think positively every day, all the time.
41. I attract amazing people.
43. My body is now trained to burn fat and build muscle day by day.
44. I have a six pack of abdominal muscles.
46. I am filled with the light of love, peace, happiness, power, success and joy every day, all the time.
47. I am aggressive, direct and powerful with the women I desire. I radiate a confidence, self-control and charm that women find irresistibly attractive.
48. My mind is focused on what I desire and I go for it congruently and powerfully.
49. I take immediate advantage of my opportunities with women. I swiftly establish incredible rapport, gather the information I need, then close with aggression, power and finesse.
50. I radiate a natural, easy self-acceptance that women find irresistibly attractive.
51. I am mastering the responses, attitudes, behaviours, insights and timing that bring me irresistible power with the women I desire.
52. I am now approaching women that I am attracted to.
53. I am able to pick up and attract any women I desire.
54. I am a strong, powerful, aggressive, dominant, alpha male, leader and conqueror!!!
55. I am smooth, charming, interesting and fascinating!!!
56. I have a perfectly sculptured muscle ripped body.
57. I am super hot and sexy, all women want me!
58. Abundance is my natural state of being!
59. Money comes to me easily and continuously from multiple sources!
61. My IQ and intelligence increases daily rapidly!!!
62. I have clear beautiful skin!
63. I have lucid dreams and recall all my dreams with complete clarity!
65. All things are now working together for good in my life.
67. I rule the world! I am brilliant and perfect in every possible way!
68. I succeed in everything I do!
69. I have sex with one thousand super hot women!
70. I am now enjoying everything I do and feel happy just being alive.
71. Sex with super hot women comes to me easily and effortlessly.
72. All things are now working together for good in my life.
73. I have the infinite creative power of God within me.
74. I am a Bad Boy, Player, Natural and Ladies Man!
75. I am a Sexy Beast! Everywhere I go women want to fuck me!
76. I have sex with supermodels daily.
77. Supermodels have an incredible desire to fuck me wherever I go!
78. I attract whatever I desire.
79. I am the most desirable man in the world. I am God’s gift to women.
80. Supermodels and incredibly hot women proactively, persistently and aggressively seek me out to fuck me.
81. Beautiful women are extremely persistent with me for sex.
82. What I believe is reality. Women experience me as extremely intoxicating, exciting and addictive.
83. I am a catch and out of her league, any woman that’s with me is very fortunate to have my attention.
84. Beautiful women are extremely attracted to me on a deeply subconscious level.
85. Women are perverted creatures who are always trying to fuck me.
86. Every morning I wake up in bed with twenty supermodels.
Attitude of the The Prize
You got to be a bit self-centered, a jerk and an asshole. The difference between nice guys and Alpha males: Nice guys place a woman on a pedestal, Alpha males place themselves on a pedestal. Just be Alpha and dominant. Chicks dig 50 Cent not Steve Urkel. Alpha males love themselves more than they ever could any woman on this planet. Always remember that you are more important than any woman on this planet regardless of how physically attractive she may be. You have high value and she has very low value. You are the Prize she is trying to win over. Perceive the world the same way Brad Pitt does, every high valued quality woman wants you but they’re just not good enough. Every woman on the planet wants you so why settle for the first thing that comes along? Your attitude should be:
“I am a catch.”
“I am out of your league.”
When I became self-centered, that’s how I got good with women. Always talk down to hot women!
Behave around hot women and talk to them as though they have very low value. Perceive her as a fat ugly chick. Talk to her and carry yourself around her the same way you would to a fat ugly chick. You are a catch, she should be trying to win over your approval!
Know that there are only ever two steps to follow to figure out anything in life.
1. Ask yourself “What works?”
2. Become that!
This is an amazing comment bro. It’s great to have a foundation set up of how you feel about yourself BEFORE you even start the conversation with a woman. You are WAY ahead of the game.
“Japanese people have higher levels of skinship because people just aren’t as worried about seeming gay. We could learn a lot from this.”
I guess you’ve lived in a Japan different than the one I’ve known for close to 40 years.
There is more non-sexual physical intimacy amongst the young in Japan, but it’s pretty much gone by their 20s and never to be seen again once they are married. You’ll never see Japanese men or women in their 30s or 40s, even close friends, hugging in greeting or parting.
You know what, you might be right. I was 100% thinking of my experience with people 25 and under. My experience was really teaching high school students and working with other teachers fresh out of college. When I was dating Japanese women, I always had to deal with the public face/private face thing.