I went to the GUM Clinic today for my usual checkup.  I try to go once a month, but I really don't make it that often.  It's just good to know that you are totally clean, you know? 

As usual everyone there was in a foul mood.  I guess I'm the only one who goes there to confirm that he's clean.  The lady offers me the usual choice of three tests: swab in my dick, urine and blood tests.  Now they all suck for different reasons, but the urine test is my favorite.  For that one I only have to deal with stage fright.  I told the lady how last time the guy messed up my blood test and it hurt and blood went all over and then he had to do my other arm.  I ask if she can promise not to mess it up.  She won't agree to that and in a few minutes I find out why.

It only sucks a little bit if they get it on the first try, but she was in my arm digging around with that needle and it hurt like a bitch.  Then she accuses me of refusing to bleed.  Like I have that kind of skill.  I wish.  She blames it on my being dehydrated.  I am not sure that that's true as I drank a ton of water yesterday, but I guess only today counts.  I refuse to let her try again.  It's just not worth it.  Next time I will drink an assload of water beforehand.

My tests all came up clean.