Easy to say, but let’s be honest – Hard to do! If you can overcome jealousy, it will change your life. Don’t be fooled into thinking I have conquered jealousy, but I have certainly beaten it back. A few years ago I was a level-1 jealous dude. I hated anyone who talked to my oneitis. It was a deep fiery rage. I thought she was banging all these dudes behind my back. (of course she actually was….)
The Rewards
I am going on a date Friday with one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. She is the girl from the White Wedding and let me be honest, I have had to play this bad boy cooler than any girl in the past. That night I saw her with another dude multiple times. I noticed him try to kiss her and there was a lot of close-talking. I was somehow objective. I didn’t feel anything about this other dude. I could have been intimidated by him easily. He was taller and bigger than me. Wearing a fancy suit. I just didn’t care. I assumed she would come back. And she did. Beautiful girls deal with jealousy so much. I used to want to date girls that no one else found attractive. Think about that one sentence for a few minutes. Jealousy kept beautiful women from wanting me and kept me from wanting beautiful women. High value women have active social lives that they don’t want to sacrifice. If a woman does give up her male friends for you, she will resent you. Eventually it will come bubbling to the surface.
The Challenge
In the back of your mind, it’s so easy to imagine your beautiful girl meeting a better pickup artist when you’re not around. You can’t always be around. So you have to find a way to live without jealousy. There is no positive to this emotion. It’s our natural instinct to want to control what’s ours. We want to mark our territory and keep other guys away. Johnny Soporno teaches an opposite mindset. He is a guy who has beaten jealousy totally. I’m not at that level yet. I don’t know if I want to be totally without this emotion, but I want to minimize it.
Enough Crap – How to do it
We know jealousy is bad. We know it keeps us from beautiful women and we know that it is part of us. The first step is to decide to change. From there just try to notice every time you become jealous or nervous. Realize it is an expression of your insecurity. Super high value men don’t get jealous because they don’t need to. If their girl cheats, they can just replace her. That is a powerful frame. Every time you are jealous in the club, actively try not to be. Just think about how you are a great guy. Work on defeating your insecurity. Progress on your inner game development.
Final Thoughts
The way to defeat jealousy is to accept yourself. It takes a long time to get there. I used to be the king of freaking out when guys stole my sets. I would like to think I have gotten over this, but not totally. I am just on a path to mastery and sharing a few thoughts here. It’s important to realize there are no benefits to being jealous. It is not an educational emotion. If you lose a girl, it’s better to react objectively and look at what you did wrong. It’s funny but lately I have been reading the blog of a guy I worked with ages ago. He has some of the best stuff going on right now. I just think his blog is so hilarious and he’s having crazy sexual escapades. I called him on Monday to talk about it and he was actually jealous of some of the crazy stuff I’ve been involved in lately. So guys the grass is always greener. Really work on accepting your life and only try to change things for yourself. I haven’t had a drink in over 2 weeks because I am determined to get into amazing shape. It’s not for any girl, it’s only for me. That is why I am able to endure, even though I LOVE getting drunk. When we try to change for other people it rarely sticks, but when we try to change for ourselves we can see great results. The core of jealousy resides in a lack of self confidence, so as you learn to love yourself, your jealousy will drift away! Good luck!
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