I know the reason why you don’t know how to attract women and don’t know how to get a girlfriend

It’s probably because you don’t know how to talk to women or something related.  So now your sitting here on the internet asking yourself “How can I get a girlfriend?“  I understand.  It’s ok.  I asked myself the same question a few years ago.  Now I am a professional dating coach and I have the answer.

The majority of dating is inside your head.  If you walk up to a woman thinking that she can fix some part of your life, well that is destined for failure.  Girls want to be an ADDITION to your life, not a solution. So let’s start by creating the foundation of a man women want to be with.  Once you know who you really are it’s much easier to figure out what you want in a woman.  Too many people work really hard to get a girlfriend and then realize she’s not the woman they want.  So let’s avoid that up front.

How to get a girlfriend part 1 – Know Thyself

Confidence.  There is nothing more important than believing in yourself.  Have you ever dated someone who you thought was amazing, but they felt like they didn’t deserve you?  This destroys every relationship.  The moment a girl asks me why I picked her or says she doesn’t deserve me, I know the relationship is doomed.  Whether it’s been a few months or just a few drinks.  Relationships can only endure if they are equal.  So if you have low self confidence, you will only get women who have low self confidence.  And guess what?  They are the women that cheat the most.  Not because they are sinister or evil, but because they need constant affirmation.

It’s easy to say BE CONFIDENT and you will get a girlfriend.  I know that.  What’s hard is telling you exactly how to become more confident, bit I am going to do it.  If you actually follow my instructions you will change your life – fast.  You need to sit down and make a list.  I want you to make a list of things you have always wanted to do but haven’t for some reason.  And I want you to make a list of things you are afraid of.  Whether this list has 10 items or 100 doesn’t really matter.  There are benefits to going in either direction.  Once you have this list your job is to set up a time frame for crossing them all off of that list.

I make my list at the beginning of each year.  I have set all sorts of goals.  From walking up to 2000 women in bars and starting a conversation to getting offered a job as a dating coach by a major company.  I set goals that have to do with business and my personal life.  Just every aspect.  Now I don’t hit every goal.  But I hit a lot of them.  This year my goals were all about business.  I wanted to work for myself and make a certain amount of money.  Right now I have hit one target and tomorrow I’m re-negotiating a contract that will give me the second.  By writing it down and telling people in my life I created accountability.  If you look at the top of this website there is a link called goals.  I list and cross off all of my goals every year.  In a public place.

As far as facing your fears.  This is how you become stronger as a person and become the man who can get a girlfriend.  Iron sharpens iron.  You want to make a knife sharp you don’t put it in a river, you use a strong stone.  I am really afraid of heights.  Well actually I am way less than I used to be.  I have climbed mountains alone to face this fear.  I push myself to the edge.  When you are alone facing a real danger it’s where you find out exactly who you are.  Last year I spent a few hours being interrogated in a 3rd world country.  I was in deep.  But guess what? I stuck to my guns and got out of it.  And the girl I was with.  Because I know what it’s like to be afraid.  And I still act.

You want to know the ultimate secret? How to get a girlfriend?  It’s this.  Women are only looking for one thing.  Every single thing I will teach you boils down to this.  Women are looking for a guy who can handle it IF…..

They want a guy who can handle it IF their home gets robbed.  IF he loses his job.  IF she gets pregnant.  IF they lose a child…..

That’s what emotional security boils down to.  It’s why women are attracted to criminals.  They are survivors and they aren’t afraid of danger or trouble.

So carve yourself out of wood.  Learn to be confident in ALL of your life.

How to get a girlfriend Part 2 – Tell the Truth

It sounds so obvious.  But most people lie.

If you have feeling for a girl you should tell her when they happen.  Playing games and dancing around it is weak.  Guys who play games are not men.  They are boys.

When I am attracted to a woman I tell her instantly.  I don’t wait 6 months to become her best friend and then listen to all of her secrets.  I meet so many girls who have a guy in their lives that is trying this strategy.

These guys always get to watch me or some other dude hook up with their dream girl.  And I know what I am talking about because I used to be that dude.  Before I found myself I let women walk all over me.  I hid my feelings and that lie created a terrible situation.

There are a lot more layers, but this lesson is about keeping it SIMPLE.  It doesn’t have to be hard to meet women.  Most other gurus and dating coaches will tell you that is has to be complicated.  Maybe you want a complicated solution.  I’m sorry but I am not going to lie to you brother.  If you really work on parts 1 and 2 then the final step is EASY.

How to get a girlfriend Part 3 – Ask her out

It always amazed me how many guys have never asked a girl out.  If you don’t ask how are you going to get a girlfriend?

I ask out tons of girls.  And the truth is that plenty of them say no.  I just don’t care.  I don’t want to earn a girl’s attraction.  I know who I am and I’m not interested in a girl who doesn’t see what makes me amazing.  In later lessons I will go into detail on how to ask a woman out, but for now keep it simple.

Just ask a girl to a situation where you are powerful.  Bring her to your home bar or a club where everyone knows you.  Don’t take her to an awkward expensive dinner.  It doesn’t work.  It’s not real life and it’s a horrible first date.  You want to go somewhere that you are comfortable.  I usually ask a girl to come for drinks at the bar closest to my home.  Or I take a girl to fly kites at the park.  I want somewhere that she is comfortable where there is a possibility of kissing.  To learn about the kissing guide, just sign up for my mailing list and you get a free copy of my HUGE guide to getting a first kiss.

This is how you get a girlfriend.

And guys, please let me know what you thought of this post by leaving a comment or question below! I really love your feedback and it helps me get better at what I do.

There is nothing quite like a woman scorned.  The irony is that i didn’t scorn anyone.  As I wrote a while back my ex girlfriend broke up with me about 2 months after we had already broken up.  I tried to explain my inability to have a long distance relationship and I guess I just wasn’t clear.  I don’t know how that happened.  But later she read about it on my blog and was somehow totally surprised.  She knew about it from when we were dating, so I didn’t think anything was a surprise.

I don’t even have any posts about our relationship on here.  I originally wrote a post about our first night together, but I took it down when I realized that I was having real feelings for her.  But I guess that’s neither here nor there.

After breaking up with me in a vicious email which ended in her calling me a pervert, she a week later let me have it on im.  I really wish I could feel sad about the loss of our relationship, but for me it was already over.  It ended when we broke up the first time.  She sent me one final email asking me to delete the host of naked pictures of her I have.  I don’t really look at them anymore, but come on.

A week after that she started telling lies about me at my old job.  She told them that we started dating while I was working there, which simply wasn’t true.  I asked her out after my last day there.  It was exactly why I decided to go for it.

Two weeks ago I come into work just like any other normal day and boom.  My boss rolls in with a lady from hr.  They start throwing out some really messed up accusations at me.  It was a real treat.  They sent me home for a week of paid leave.  While they “investigated.”  They never actually talked to me about anything.  The hr lady said she would let me have a background check to prove my innocence.  But of course she never sent me the link to fill it out.

Later in the week I received an email accusing me of being inappropriate at my current job.  Again no explanation was given of the charges.  They finally called me in over a week later.  Like I can’t smell a bushwacking.  I had already chatted to my lawyers and knew they were being totally unprofessional in their technique.  But hey, I was already starting to hate the job.

So I finally met the head of my department.  They decided to fire me for me blog.  As you know this blog doesn’t have my real name on it.  In the meeting the HR lady lied and said that’s how they knew about it.  They claimed that the other investigations were just a coincidence.  AKA I was innocent but they just wanted a reason to fire me.  The HR lady said I chose not to accept the background check and when I asked her why she didn’t send it to me, she admitted that she knew I hadn’t received it.

Overall, it was a boring experience.  I thought getting fired would be an emotional experience, but really my life is already moving forward.  I am mostly just sharing because let’s be honest it’s a good story.  I might start writing more about my experience and talking about where I actually worked later on.  For now I have no heart for vengeance.  I just don’t care.

So my ex girlfriend got me fired from my job.  In the end the reason they gave was that I am doing “work of a sexual nature.”  I make no apologies for the life I live.  I tried to keep my work and private life separate but hey I guess those days are over.

And yes.  I still have a stack of pics of my ex girlfriend.  Will I post them on the internet?  Right now I can’t be bothered.  It’s just a shame that she misunderstood me and decided to try and mess with my life in a major way.  I didn’t even sleep with any other girls in between when I thought we broke up and when she did.

So last week I got a really long breakup email from my x in London.  I really thought I was clear that long distance stuff doesn’t work for me, but obviously I wasn’t.  So when she read my feelings on here, she got really hurt and broke up with me.  I wish I could say that I felt really bad when she dumped me.  But I kinda felt nothing.  It’s hard for me to have deep long distance emotions.

For me love is a face to face kinda thing.  I mean I really did love her and I’m sad that she’s hurt.  But I guess we weren’t meant for each other.  I hope she fins what she’s looking for.

As always I try to be super honest here about what I’m going through and what is happening.

Maybe my next relationship will work out better.  I’ve already met a few cool girls in this town and I’ll write about that later.

So for the past month I have had a girlfriend.  I was so into her that I stopped writing posts about my dating life.  It’s weird how I can care about someone enough to respect their privacy.  When I basically live without any myself.

I have been back in my hometown for a week now.  I’m a little hesitant to say where I am, because I have some internet stalkers on a few weird forums who have been talking about my family etc.  So for now I’ll let you guys figure it out.

Anyways I think about my x like every day.  It’s really strange because technically we are broken up.  But in my heart I just miss her so bad.  Now at least I know that I am capable of loving someone.  The thought of eternal monogamy is pretty terrifying though.  But I guess I’ll figure it out.  Just not quite yet….

This is probably the best movie for people in the scene.  It is simply amazing.  It really shows the way a guy can interact with his oneitis, the way he controls her without realizing it, the ways to escape your past and the power of friendship.

I hate the title of this movie and that kept me from watching it for a long time.  It is designed to catch the attention of teenage girls and I believe that is the intended audience for the movie, but the film is simply awesome.  I am not going to break down the plot there.  The truth is you will either trust me and watch this movie or not.  It still blows my mind how many guys want to get good with women, yet refuse to watch The L Word.  I have been screaming the name of that show for a full year now.  I bet you haven’t watched a single episode have you?  I don’t think anyone should be allowed to complain about escalation until they have watched at least 3 seasons.  It’s simply necessary.

But this movie is amazing at showing the power friendship can play in social dynamics.  The sweetness of this movie is really inspiring.  If you want to really understand how relationships blossom in a dynamic way, watch this movie.  It is really powerful and moving.  You will learn a lot about all of the other prerequisites of game too, don’t worry.  It has a ton of frame control, shit tests and locational comfort.

Like I said, I watched this movie for the 2nd time last night.  There is about 20 minutes I would like to cut out of the movie, as one character is just really annoying to me.  But I skip through her  scenes and it’s fine now.  I think the most powerful lesson comes from the last lines of the movie.  The girl says “Are you sad that we missed it?” and the boy responds with “We didn’t miss it.  This IS it.”

He is so right.  Often we are so unable to live in the moment as we focus on what isn’t happening in our lives.  Concerts are awesome.  I love them.  I go all the time.  What is really important is the emotions we share and the impact we have on the world.  I recommended this movie on the London forum recently.  Something tells me a lot of guys are missing this amazing movie.  And that is a shame.  Because this is it.

In one night I gained access to a new social tier and I had an amazing date with a really sweet girl.  It was awesome.  The promoter I met through High Roller hit me up this week and invited me to Jalouse.  He said could have the run of the table with 3 friends if I bring 10 girls.  I text my man Mr M and he says let’s do it.  So me, him and Daxx decide to rock out.  We end up rolling up with more than 30 girls.  The girl running the line LOVED me.  It was so badass.

All the guys at the table loved me and texted me within 24 hours.  I have some new really cool contacts in London and Brighton now.  Basically rich cool guys who seem to like hot women.  Go figure.  The night was awesome and now I have access to another club that is member’s only except for this one promoter.  It’s so cool to make friends.  And not have to spend cash to get there.

The good part of then night for me was chilling with my lovely Czech girl.  She was a student from an English class I taught this week.  I waited to ask her out until I finished teaching at the school.  She is really sweet and insanely beautiful.  But energy is everything.  We met up an hour early for a drink and just chilled.  I didn’t amp up that much attraction as I have massive status as her teacher and I had a feeling that bringing 30 girls to a badass club would be enough.  So I just built comfort.  I teased her a lot about her country having no running water and being over run with werewolves.  We looked at her house and her little village on Google Earth on my Blackberry.  (PS Get a blackberry it’s awesome!!!)  So we just chatted and had a nice time until Daxx rolled up.  He looked dapper as shit and I think that made me look really cool.

We roll up to the club and I am like a lion tamer trying to control a gaggle of girls.  Being in charge is massively stressful for me but gives so much value it’s insane.  I really try to spend a lot of time with my girl and I tell all the other dudes on the table which girl is mine and I introduce all the other ones.  Each guy made an effort to make me look cooler to her.  It was awesome.  It took me HOURS to get a kiss off her.

We were standing outside having a smoke, well I was smoking.  And she was sitting on a wall and I was stood between her legs.  Each time I leaned in to kiss her she would giggle or turn her head.  Now this is important for guys new to game.  This isn’t a no from a girl, this is a not yet.  Crucial distinction.  She says “what’s on your mind” and I said nothing.  Then I ask her and she says nothing.  I’m like interesting.. and she says the same thing.  Sexual tension is slowly building.  I am having a little escalation anxiety to be honest.  And that is the sure sign that it is time to escalate.  So I say to her that I am thinking of kissing her.  And we kiss.  It’s really lovely and sweet.

Throughout the night I have to leave her to chill with all my friend and ladies.  The whole time she is really chill and manages to make her own fun.  We dance a ton and it’s really sexy and sensual.  Eventually, I ask if she’s ready to go.  She asks where and I say my house.  She tells me she doesn’t want to have sex.  Ha.  Why was she thinking about that?

So eventually we go outside and she wants to find her night bus home.  I take something I learned from Sebastian Drake and Switch and I just keep telling her that it’s a good idea to grab a cab and come to mine.  We come back and she let’s me know we’re not gonna have sex again.  Now maybe I’m just a big pansie, but I really enjoy a good cuddle.  I use Sheriff’s LMR tactics.  I just hand her a shirt to wear and turn around while she changes.  We spend hours looking at facebook pictures of each other, kissing and cuddling.  I get a tiny bit of over the shirt boob action.

When I was 13, I would have killed for this kind of action. I fall asleep with her in my arms.  It’s a great way to build an emotional connection with a girl.  And you can have sex in the morning!

Unless you wake up and she’s gone.  With your shirt neatly folded and placed on your laptop.  I’m going to see her again.  It sucks that she’s leaving so soon.  C’est la vie.

I am not sure how much I’ve talked about the girl’s I’m dating, so I’ll start at the top.  I am currently seeing a German girl (kind of).  We have been on two dates with lots of kissing.  Logistics have kept us from sleeping together yet, although I have gotten laid 2 out of the 3 times I have seen her.  She might just be lucky?

I met her at Kensington Roof Gardens a month or so ago.  I was out with gsand.  This was the night of the midget and the dry sex.  I am sure you remember that one.  When I thought I had whiskey dick?  Anyways, she was one of the club photographers and when my mate asked to borrow her camera to take pics, she let him.  I thought this showed that she was super cool.  We chatted 30 mins and in true Paladin style, I got the magical digits.

We texted on and off and kept almost meeting for the next few days.  Originally, we had a date for the next night, but she was too tired from work and cancelled.  Sunday we texted back and forth and I ended up in an orgy of drugs and confusion with YumYum and Iceberg.  Tuesday night, I get a text asking if I’m near central.  Unfortunately, I was at home in only my underwear with Ghost playing new tracks we bought (I bought) for Rock Band on our Xbox 360.

So I tell her I can meet her in 30.  I rush into clothes and a hair do that works.  And I’m out the door, while that bastard Ghost is rocking out on my new badass songs.  I think I’m gonna be late, but I still beat her by five minutes.  Girls have some sixth sense for always being later than me.  I don’t know how they do that….  We meet up and she looks really cute.  Since I was hammered when we met, this is a pleasant surprise.

We bounce through 2 pubs and hit a jazz bar.  I’m all about multiple location dates.  The more bars the better!  She is actually badass.  We talk about all the messed up things I’ve done in my life.  I have no idea why.  But she asked like the right questions.  About my brand and about some of my scars etc.  We finally kiss on some dark street with nobody around.  My pulse was about 200.  She thought that it’s cute that a former gangster can get all nervous with her.

The I went with her to a club where she was working.  I basically had to spend an hour on my own while she snapped photos.  It was kinda boring so I got hammered.  Some really funny things happened to me in the bathroom.  Such is my life.  There is always some incident waiting to happen.   But that is a tale for another day.  Finally, she finished her work and we slipped outa there.  She had to get up early for work the next day, so I was unable to her her to my house.  Damn the fates!

We texted and had a date the next week, but she managed to end up in jail! (It really turned me on when she told me this…) so I had to wait 2 weeks for our 2nd date.  We did the same thing again.  A few bars and some kissing before she went to work.  This time I snuck off to meet up with my lesbian gang for an hour.  I am back shortly after midnight and she has already ditched work early to go home.  Which was strange because I watched Beyonce walk into the club right then.  Some idiot started yelling at one of her body guards.  I thought that was hilarious.  I could see which way that fight was gonna go…. international vip bodyguard v chav from east london.  Even his friends were hanging back.  The best part was how the guy said “innit” at least 20 times.  Ali G had it right.

So I text my German girl and find out she went home and thought I’d ditched her.  I was like you should have at least called babe.  So she felt double bad for leaving me and for missing Beyonce.  It was all a shenanigan.  So I headed back to the lesbian party where I got laid POW.  Who knew?

That was last night, so you are pretty caught up.  I still haven’t shagged her, so really it’s not too emotional yet.  Although she is turned on by my bad boy past and I think her jail time is sexy.  Plus she has an adventurous streak.  I wanna see more of…

I am such a jerk. Yet again I have gone three weeks without posting. Or maybe it’s just two. But the problem has become that I am living way too fast. I have had no breaks in my life. So much is happening that I get cripplingly behind. And I apologize for that. I will give you some highlights and try to keep you bastards happy. I am dating two girls right now, although I have slept with neither and only kissed one. The relationships are great as I see each girl every 1-2 weeks.

Both of the girls are beautiful and amazing in different ways. I really enjoy spending time with them and with how crazy my life is, I don’t want or need to rush into anything. I am seeing one of them tonight and one of them friday. I will post more details soon. Both of them know what I do for a living.

I also went to Austria for five days to a big music festival. I was the only American there. I met some really cool people and that was the best part for sure. The music was good, but it wasn’t trance, my true first love. I saw Deadmau5, who is on my dj list for this year. He was awesome. He came out in a leather suit and giant mouse head. I will try and post some of my videos soon.

My diet is going good as I hit 18.5% body fat last nite.  I am pretty pumped about that.  Gotta go hit the gym for squats in a few minutes.  Not excited about that!

Book sales are going ok and I am very busy with students right now.  So overall my business is a good thing.  I just want to have a lot to write for you guys!!!

Things with the Tunisian girl ended a few weeks ago. Unlike most of my relationships it did not end with a bang but a whimper. I wish this was going to be an interesting story but it’s not. Basically, she felt I wasn’t ‘there for her’ enough. She would get upset about her school work and want to bitch at me online about it, so I would stop chatting. I mean really. I don’t want to fall into my old oneitis patterns, do I? The I wasn’t online for one week. I just partied a lot and we didn’t chat. So when I saw her the next week and asked how she was doing, she got mad and said she didn’t believe I cared. It’s pretty amazing that any girl can turn into a psycho for no reason. I mean we weren’t even in any form of relationship and she got needy and annoying. So now you know the end of my adventure. I still need to finish writing the actual tale though.