It's like that amazing line from Brad Pitt in Fight Club.  "We're a generation of men raised by women.  I'm wondering if another women is really the answer we need."  Like all of my brothers – my fellow wings, coaches, instructors and acolytes I have discovered that I want more.  It's why my life has exploded in so many directions.

Once guys start having more girls or cuter girls or sometimes it's just ANY girls in their lives, they start to look for more projects.  The path of self-discovery seems to have no endpoint.  Soon it becomes all about inner game.  Developing an iron sense of self.  Then you want financial independence.  After that you start to seek locational independence.

I am moving on that path myself.  I have expanded my business ventures in a dozen directions in the last few months.  Like every other guy I know in pickup, internet marketing is one of those directions.  Hopefully my new project will work out and I'll be in a really good financial position within a few months. 

But this post isn't about me, it's about you.

As you move along this journey and track your progress with your blog, who you are and what you want will change.  I used to just want to get married so bad.  I thought it would solve all of my problems.  Now I see the world in a completely different way.  I keep changing careers.  I am 29 and I am still finding myself and exploring every passion.

To be honest, there is nothing I love more than teaching guys what's possible.  Pickup is just the medium for the education.  It's a means to an end. 

So start trying the things you have always wanted to do or the things you've always been afraid to do.  You might just find yourself.

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I have been back in my hometown for a week now.  I'm a little hesitant to say where I am, because I have some internet stalkers on a few weird forums who have been talking about my family etc.  So for now I'll let you guys figure it out.

Anyways I think about my x like every day.  It's really strange because technically we are broken up.  But in my heart I just miss her so bad.  Now at least I know that I am capable of loving someone.  The thought of eternal monogamy is pretty terrifying though.  But I guess I'll figure it out.  Just not quite yet….

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I haven't been posting a lot because I have been so busy lately.  I have a ton of new students and I am trying to give them as much time as possible before I move back home.  I will be living in Nashville for 6weeks to 6months. 

Nothing is really decided or permanent, but I am just putting out feelers in every direction.  I am applying for uni jobs all over the place.  From my hometown to Oman to Japan.  I am just putting out feelers. My main project right now is to put the Nashville lair back together.  There is a yahoo group that is just disjointed.  I have set up a new proper forum at www.TennLair.com .   Hopefully I can get all the guys connected and pour a ton of training into my hometown.  It is gonna be really great to see what I can put together.I am also setting up some new online projects based that are taking up a lot of my online time.  I am working on some marketing things and really just trying to learn how to convert my website.  I would really love to get tons of copies of my ebook out into the universe. I am really not sure where the next phase of my life will take me, but I am trying to take on of Tynan's really good posts to heart. 

I am selling off nearly everything that I own in my apartment here in London.  I want to really pare down all the crap I have.  I would like to be able to pack my entire life into the trunk of a car. I will try to share the debauchery of my birthday party after this Saturday with you as well.

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I have a few challenges that I am grinding through this month.  I am back on my diet/training regime.  This includes no soda, no bread, no fast food of any kind etc for 3 months.  It also includes no drinking for the next 3 months.  That one I'm really struggling with.  I am certainly drinking WAY less after my last period of no drinking.  I really wanna tighten up my fitness kick so I am gonna try to grind.

I am also going to try to not masturbate for a whole month.  I just deleted all the porn off of my computer.  Holy crap I had 65gigs.  Man that is a ton.  I hate to watch the same video more than once…  Anyways I actually deleted it all as a challenge.  I really wanna tighten up my game this month and I think this will help a ton.  It also leads me to my next challenge.

I am going to study a new guru for a month, every month for the next season.  I haven't set an end limit on this challenge.  I DO know that I am going to start by studying Mehow this month.  I know a lot of people don't rate him, but October does.  And for me that is more than good enough.  I just wanna get deep into my game and go more technical again.  I am good but I want to get amazing.

I can only focus on 3 challenges at a time in my mind.  So these are my current ones.

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A few weeks ago I was covering for another teacher at this uni I have been teaching at. I did a 1on1 4 hour English lesson with this super rich Kazakhstani dude. We were chilling. Basically unlike most douche bag English teachers I can talk to rich people about normal things like badass high end clubs and beautiful women. So we connected and I almost got him to buy a table at Jalouse through my homey. I gave him my connections number there and thought I would never see the dude again

last week I got asked to cover all 3 days with the dude. Of course! It was badass. He realized that the uni is crap and that an mba from there won't actually help him, so all week we just chilled. He took me out to lunch all three days, gave me a carton of parliament ciggies, invited me to visit his homeland to hunt wolves and asked me to come to a high end brothel with him.

This last one really freaked me out at first. I was like isn't this a moral decision? I guess only if people find out. I gave him a tentative yes, but then I texted like 5 of my friends. They all offered to go in my place. So then I talked to my house mate. I figured if anyone would talk me out of it, it would be him. He was like go for it. It seems like a badass experience.

So we meet and jump in a taxi right at 7. we saw from the website that this is when all the girls start their shifts. He originally wanted to go right after out lesson at 2, but then there would only have been 2 girls there. A big part of me was nervous about him paying etc. but I just put that to the back of my mind and did something I normally would never do.

We get there and have to pay this creepy dude 20 pounds each to go inside. There is a locker room, steam room, showers and a sauna. Hence the fact that the sign calls it a sauna. We have to go into the locker room and change into towels. It's obvious we have never been there before as we keep getting lost. Then we don't know if we keep our boxers under our towels.

Finally I am like fuck it let's do this and I just skin up. He does the same. We go into the lounge. By lounge I mean room with 18 pros staring at us. We are nervous as shit. I don't know why he is bc he has been to dozens of these before. So he tells the girls that I have low self confidence. It's kinda funny. I gauge the reactions of the girls to see which ones I'm afraid of. Haha

it takes us about 10 minutes to choose the ones we like. Basically only a few of the girls were actually cute in my opinion. I got this blond girl who looked Russian. She was really stunning but actually Spanish. His girl was Brazilian. This meant they could talk shop in Spanish. Fair enough.

We go up to the vip room and man it was one small vip room. We could never be more than 10 feet apart. He of course pays for everything up front, including an hour with the girls. The total cost from walking us both in to partying for an hour was 690 pounds. He just paid cash. I think he was really intent on impressing me. I think there is something cool about taking your English teacher to a hor house. I certainly wasn't complaining.

It took a few minutes to get going, but then it was on. She just threw a condom on me and started blowing. I'm sitting in a chair next to my boss getting the same action. It was so cool. After all of my previous group sex experiences, close proximity to another dude fucking doesn't affect me. They moved to the bed while I got a badass bj. It actually wasn't the best of my life, the mouse was still better. Maybe I should tell her?

This girl was definitely the hottest girl I've ever played with. She had beautiful natural breasts and just everything was smooth and nice. After a bit we joined the other two on the bed and started fucking. We did a good set of positions. My boss finished after about 20 minutes. I was like dude? We are on the clock!

I smashed my girl for a good 30 minutes and then gave her a 5 minute break. The other girl was like dude wtf are you doing you're going to break her! And my boss was like fuck! My girl was like I can handle it ok! Aahahah. The best part was a bigass mirror right in front of the bed so I could see myself smashing this girl. I could really see how much better shape I am in. I still got 5 more kg to go, but that is another blog post. Hehe.

After a little break we got back too it. Soon she was covered in my sweat and body hair. I shed like a damn golden retriever. Oh well. She did make me do about 90% of the work and every time I slowed down she was like come on baby you're not tired are you??? she got on top once per session for like 2 minutes. I mean I know she probably had 10 more dudes to go that night, but seriously.

At one point she did say something telling. She said that it's really hard for girls in her profession to ever find guys. They just have no ability to trust men anymore. I think this has a lot to do with my boss being married with 3 kids and not so much about me. But I think it's reasonable. With what I have seen of women in the last 2 years a lot of my beliefs have been shattered.

So I slammed this girl for the full 60 minutes. She kept saying how bad she wanted me to come. I wonder if she gets in trouble if I dont. I almost got that impression. So finally I came at the last possible moment. It was awesome. She was like wtf? That's not very much milk for so much work! I was like I'm not a cow! She loved it and laughed and repeated it.

I think that was the one moment where she actually thought something was funny. Like the real her happened, but only for like 5 seconds. I am not stupid enough to think that we had a real connection. I have read about a lot of guys paying pros and then trying to game them. The only way to make a girl on the game like you more is to pay her more money.

Overall my experience was awesome. I felt so relaxed. It was really nice to have sex without a load of bullshit. If I was rich I would definitely have a new vice. I mean amazing sex with a beautiful woman and she doesn't give you shit afterward. After all the shit I have been dealing with lately with other girls in my life, it was just so refreshing.

I felt so relaxed afterward and I ran some supertight sets as well. Both sets are still texting me and I have a date with one tonight. I never thought I would pay for it, but this year I had been considering it. Just as an experience, so when it came my way I did it.

I just spent a weekend with my man October, and with how much fun that was I realized I fucking love real girls and pros aren't a replacement.

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I hate the title of this movie and that kept me from watching it for a long time.  It is designed to catch the attention of teenage girls and I believe that is the intended audience for the movie, but the film is simply awesome.  I am not going to break down the plot there.  The truth is you will either trust me and watch this movie or not.  It still blows my mind how many guys want to get good with women, yet refuse to watch The L Word.  I have been screaming the name of that show for a full year now.  I bet you haven't watched a single episode have you?  I don't think anyone should be allowed to complain about escalation until they have watched at least 3 seasons.  It's simply necessary.

But this movie is amazing at showing the power friendship can play in social dynamics.  The sweetness of this movie is really inspiring.  If you want to really understand how relationships blossom in a dynamic way, watch this movie.  It is really powerful and moving.  You will learn a lot about all of the other prerequisites of game too, don't worry.  It has a ton of frame control, shit tests and locational comfort.

Like I said, I watched this movie for the 2nd time last night.  There is about 20 minutes I would like to cut out of the movie, as one character is just really annoying to me.  But I skip through her  scenes and it's fine now.  I think the most powerful lesson comes from the last lines of the movie.  The girl says "Are you sad that we missed it?" and the boy responds with "We didn't miss it.  This IS it."

He is so right.  Often we are so unable to live in the moment as we focus on what isn't happening in our lives.  Concerts are awesome.  I love them.  I go all the time.  What is really important is the emotions we share and the impact we have on the world.  I recommended this movie on the London forum recently.  Something tells me a lot of guys are missing this amazing movie.  And that is a shame.  Because this is it.

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So we meet up at 7pm on a Friday night.  She looks amazing, except for she is rocking a mustache.  This is my personal pet peeve for women.  I have have really been paying attention since this date and a LOT of women are rocking cookie dusters.  I try to ignore these things, but damn hers was pretty much a Tom Selleck situation.

To be honest I was able to put it aside and plow through the date.  I don't really have the strength to go through moment by moment of what happened.  Basically she spent the whole night picking at my frame.  I am used to major frame assault and tests.  Waht I am not used to is this tactic.  For example, when we went into the 2nd bar of the night I didn't offer to pay for her drink.  I just don't roll like that.  The girl has a high paying mayfair job and can support herself.  I don't pay for a girl as it sets the wrong frame.  I don't mind doing rounds like normal people.

She is like I guess you've never dated a French or Italian girl have you???  I was like what?  I have definately made out with both kinds. Hehe.  Anyways I was pushed onto my back foot.  All night she dropped hints about how she likes to date good-looking French snowboard instructors.  Actually, even writing this story is starting to depress me, but it's educational so listen up!  So she kept pushing about how it's classy to pay for a girl etc.  After her badgering I was like it's 2 pounds to shut this girls mouth.  We need to focus here.  On a first date she was henpecking me.  I was doing something I didn't want to to avoid a confrontation.  I should have stopped the date right here.  It's a clear sign that she is a horrible girlfriend.  This tactic will only get worse.

Now I have already mentioned that she brought up her good looking ex-boyfriends about 8 times.  I never talk about exes on a date.  It's a weird way of trying to demonstrate preselection.  I don't need to do this.  I have an awesome life.  I can ignore a girl making comments about other guy's being good looking a couple of times with no affect.  But she did it enough that it put another crack into my frame.  This girl was insidious.

Third, I told her I didn't want to talk about work.  I really hate spending an entire date talking about my coaching etc.  I told her that I'm a writer and a life-coach.  I just didn't want to spend three hours talking about pickup coaching.  For me it just makes a date boring.  So I changed the subject 30 times and told her again I don't want to talk about work.  She would keep shifting the subject back to my work by asking a new question.  She just basically interrogated me constantly.  And when I would ask her a comfort-building question she said are you gonna ask me questions all night?  When she made this comment it would poke against my frame again.

Now individually I can handle each of these attacks. I have strengthened my inner game a LOT over the past 20 months.  Now I wasn't ready for this type of frame war.  She came in softly, softly.  I didn't realize any of this until I spent the rest of the night analyzing why I was depressed after my date.  I normally am happy after a date.  I love spending time with pretty girls.

Now if there is one thing I hate on a date more than anything, it is awkward conversation over a huge ass dinner table in a brightly lit restaurant. Guess what.  She needled me into that situation.  She forced us into having a bad date and then when it was bad blamed me for it.  She wouldn't even kiss me and left at 10 to go to bed early.  I was never gonna text her or think about her again but she wrote me a huge text 2 days later.

So I waited a few days and decided to let her know that we are on two different pages.  Her text back was a frame assault on long the lines of "Of course we aren't on the same page…"  This girl was a master of frame control.  In a way I respect her ability.  It's just too bad that she uses it for evil.

So please take a lesson from my horrible date.  She boiled me slowly like a Frog.  Just took my frame 1% at a time.  The night before our date, I thought about canceling when she mentioned work early on Sat.  From now on I will cancel if I sense any trouble!

BTW drunk texting is so 2000 and LATE!  High texting is where it is AT!!!

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The Rewards

I am going on a date Friday with one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen.  She is the girl from the White Wedding and let me be honest, I have had to play this bad boy cooler than any girl in the past.  That night I saw her with another dude multiple times.  I noticed him try to kiss her and there was a lot of close-talking.  I was somehow objective.  I didn't feel anything about this other dude.  I could have been intimidated by him easily.  He was taller and bigger than me.  Wearing a fancy suit. I just didn't care.  I assumed she would come back.  And she did. Beautiful girls deal with jealousy so much.  I used to want to date girls that no one else found attractive.  Think about that one sentence for a few minutes.  Jealousy kept beautiful women from wanting me and kept me from wanting beautiful women.  High value women have active social lives that they don't want to sacrifice.  If a woman does give up her male friends for you, she will resent you.  Eventually it will come bubbling to the surface.

The Challenge

In the back of your mind, it's so easy to imagine your beautiful girl meeting a better pickup artist when you're not around.  You can't always be around.  So you have to find a way to live without jealousy.  There is no positive to this emotion.  It's our natural instinct to want to control what's ours.  We want to mark our territory and keep other guys away.  Johnny Soporno teaches an opposite mindset.  He is a guy who has beaten jealousy totally.  I'm not at that level yet.  I don't know if I want to be totally without this emotion, but I want to minimize it.

Enough Crap – How to do it

We know jealousy is bad.  We know it keeps us from beautiful women and we know that it is part of us. The first step is to decide to change.  From there just try to notice every time you become jealous or nervous.  Realize it is an expression of your insecurity.  Super high value men don't get jealous because they don't need to.  If their girl cheats, they can just replace her.  That is a powerful frame. Every time you are jealous in the club, actively try not to be.  Just think about how you are a great guy.  Work on defeating your insecurity.  Progress on your inner game development.

Final Thoughts

The way to defeat jealousy is to accept yourself.  It takes a long time to get there.  I used to be the king of freaking out when guys stole my sets.  I would like to think I have gotten over this, but not totally.  I am just on a path to mastery and sharing a few thoughts here.  It's important to realize there are no benefits to being jealous.  It is not an educational emotion.  If you lose a girl, it's better to react objectively and look at what you did wrong. It's funny but lately I have been reading the blog of a guy I worked with ages ago.  He has some of the best stuff going on right now.  I just think his blog is so hilarious and he's having crazy sexual escapades.  I called him on Monday to talk about it and he was actually jealous of some of the crazy stuff I've been involved in lately.  So guys the grass is always greener.  Really work on accepting your life and only try to change things for yourself. I haven't had a drink in over 2 weeks because I am determined to get into amazing shape.  It's not for any girl, it's only for me.  That is why I am able to endure, even though I LOVE getting drunk.  When we try to change for other people it rarely sticks, but when we try to change for ourselves we can see great results.  The core of jealousy resides in a lack of self confidence, so as you learn to love yourself, your jealousy will drift away! Good luck!

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First of all, it’t not great to pour mindless stuff into my head 4-5 hours a day.  That is just a lot.  Also that adds up to sometimes 20 hours a week.  That is a part time job.  That means that this show was having more influence on me than anything else in my life.  That is a lot of time to something that is at best non-productive.  I have been trying to quit for a while because it limits my productivity.

Also I am really emotionally empathic.  For example when I’m reading a serial killer book, I keep looking over my shoulder.  When I read a sci-fi book, I dream of robots and space travel.  Listening to this show often puts me into a negative state or a victim mentality.  At best it turns off my talking and puts me into a purely listener state.  So that if I’m on the train and I see a cute girl, listening to this on my ipod creates a bigger hurdle for the approach.  I have to turn off the show and change my state, just to open.  That’s too much work.

Even worse is the frame that the show imposes.  Beautiful women have all the power and men must serve.  Only by being rich can one hope to snag a beautiful woman.  It’s just all too much of the wrong frame.  The world is only like that if you believe it.  It’s not the way to be.  Women don’t have that kind of power over men and there is more to life than just looks.  Honestly, listening to this show and not paying attention just implants the exact reverse of the mindset I want.  I date women that are unreasonably good looking in my estimation.  So this show is incongruent with my world.  I can’t have two things in my life that are at war.

So think about the things you watch and listen to.  They influence you.  I still keep wanting to listen to this show.  At some points it’s so hilarious.  But I can’t live within that negative frame anymore, life is just too good.

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I spent several hours last night updating my NLP with Bugsy Malone. We went through a ton of deep issues and I learned things that I did not know about myself. The whole process was really amazing and I have a couple of things to work on this week that will move me closer to my destination. I am going to start making a list of accomplishments in my life. These will become chapters in my new book. I am also going to prioritize my goals list for this year. I am going to do both of them today hopefully. I have a meeting with Jamie in an hour. He is my NLP guru, so I am looking forward to it.

Here are some of the accomplishments in my life that I have not thought about enough. (I will think of more later)

1. As a cub schout I won the pinewood derby for my entire pack. This was my whole school. At 7 I beat a ton of 18 year olds.

2. I am in MENSA. It took me years to get in.

3. I graduated uni in 3 years instead of 4.

4. I won the Latin medal in Latin III in high school. (After getting kicked out of honors..hehe)

5. I moved to Wales, Japan and the UK on my own and survived.

6. I won the high school debate tournament at Bronx School of Science. Which my school has never won before or since.

7. I qualified for the junior olympics twice in tae kwon do.

8. I started the first ever blood drive at my high school.

9. I have been with a woman funnier, better looking and better in bed than my oneitis.

10. I saved the soccer game in high school, when the main goalie broke his arm.

11.  I saved my friend from drowning.

12. I have DJed in clubs in the uk, japan and usa.

13.  I had a podcast in the top 10 on itunes

14.  As a DJ I havehad fan mail from all over the world.

15. I had a radio show in london.

16. I climbed 2 mountains in japan even though i'm afraid of heights.

17. I have partied with billionaires and not spent a penny.

18.  I was offered a job teaching uni.

19.  I was one of the top sales reps at dell.

20. I won the regional championships for nintendo video game tourney at blockbuster 2 years in a row.

21. I was a national merit scholar, with the highest score in my whole school on the psat with a 235

22.  I won university of georgia bulldog debates 2 years in a row.

23. I have been offered a record deal for 2 different tracks.

24. I talked my way out of jail in tunisia.

25. I spoke at the LoveSystems superconference.

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