Greatest. Protest. Video. Ever.

So these ten chicks got together and decided to protect fake boobs. It’s from Colombia and it’s an antiplastic surgery and silicon movement. I respect anyone who’s willing to take a stand. As a guy who loves boobs in all shapes and sizes this is one protest that I can actually get behind.

The video is so hot that I can’t actually host it here. It’s to risque even for me, but I will hook you up with a killer link!

PROTEST SILICON

This video is super hot but I also do think they make a good point.  Our society is moving to a point where everyone wants to look like each other.  We are actually trying to weed out individuality.  So take some time and show some respect to boobs that God made.

There are 5 reasons why every pickup artist should go to a bar alone to meet women. Hunting in packs is a classic mistake and it’s time for you to learn to avoid such a lame mistake. There is a reason that we all think snipers are so cool. They hunt alone. It’s all or nothing and it’s on there shoulders. They have no one to blame if they miss that crucial shot.

If you go out to a bar alone you will improve your life for five amazing reasons.

1. You are forced to go out of your shell. When you are in a group, you can have a nice average time without talking to another stranger. You just spend the whole night talking to your friends. When you are in a bar by yourself, you either talk to strangers or you stand their quiet and alone and very bored.

2. People are more likely to approach you. Think about when you want to walk up to a woman. It’s so much easier when she is standing alone than when she is with 10 of her closest friends. Other people feel the same way. When you are standing alone you are far less intimidating.

3. Going out in a pack of guys actually makes you look weak. Guys go out in groups not because they are confident, but because they are not brave enough to be alone. They only understand how other men think. We see strength in numbers. Women see strength in walking alone.

4. Going out alone makes you look confident and will help you to grow your confidence. One of the most beautiful women I ever met was on a night I was in a club alone. She told me that she was so impressed that I was so brave and that she would never have the confidence to go out alone. It actually made me more attractive to her.

5. When you go out in a group you are very likely to just stand there in a circle talking to your friends while not taking action. Your friends actually become an impediment to your success.

So give it a try. Take a few steps out of your shell and see how much people start to respect you and you start to meet the women of your dreams. This is one of the key steps in learning how to get a girlfriend fast.

Two weeks my mom was in the hospital for what we thought was a stroke.  She was really far away visiting one of my sisters, so I was feeling kinda down.  I called the two giants to come console me over a few cocktails that night.

I just kinda didn’t want to think about things.

So I drink alone for an hour or two until they get off work and they show up, but man they just wanted to talk about themselves.  The truth is I probably wouldn’t have called them at all except I just needed someone to drink with on a Monday and most people I know are trying to lead responsible lives right now.  Not that that’s my thing at all!

So we have some drinks etc and I end up back at theirs.  Both separately inform me at this point that I’m sleeping on the couch.  I’ve slept in both of their beds multiple times and I actually wasn’t really pushing to bang.  I mean I was genuinely upset.  The thing is I’m not the kind of man who sleeps on a girls couch anymore.  That guy just doesn’t exist here.

So I called a cab and I rolled out of there.  They straight up pushed against one of my boundaries and I will not have a girl in my life who thinks I’m couchworthy.  You must be joking.

Recently I had a similar issue with boundaries with someone over a work issue.  I had to be extremely firm and explain what my boundaries are and that I will not cross them or allow them to be broken, even for financial gain.

If you constantly let people move your barriers, whether they strorm through like a German blitzkrieg or instead use a battle of inches like on my Date with an Author, you will end up with exactly no territory.  People have a natural inclination to treat you like crap if you allow them to.  The moment someone stops respecting you, you have lost everything.

So start taking yourself and your boundaries seriously.  Decide what you will and will not accept in your life, at work and with your friends.  You will see major differences.

I have been thinking a LOT on this topic lately as I have started hanging out with some girls a lot more than I normally do. It’s really difficult for me to be friends with girls because inevitable we sleep together. I’m going to write a more detailed article about whether men and women can actually be friends for my tsbmag series. For today I want to just share what’s been going on.

Friday morning I woke up in bed with my friend’s roomate for the 3rd time in a row. This time she was finally completely naked, but other than a little light fingering nothing really happened. I am pretty sure that we didn’t even kiss. So how did I get here…..

Thursday the roomate texts me to say that it’s the Giraffe’s birthday that night and I have to come. Her birthday isn’t for another week, so I was caught by surprise. I thought of a cool present and just planned on dropping it off as I am tired of missing the gym on Friday because of them. I got there and it was 3 girls and 3 boys. I was central to their plans and couldn’t really slip away. I ended up downtown and hammered with the girls and eventually it was just me and the 2 of them. I was really grinding on the Giraffe in this honky tonk and just having a nice ole time.

We left and it was clear she was about to pass out. Her roommate was like let’s get a 12pack and party just the two of us after she crashes. Now I’m into that. I have a strong enough sense of self that I can be friends with this girl and not creep on her 24/7. In fact I didn’t make any moves in the bar at all. So the gas station won’t sell her beer because she’s so hammered and they won’t sell to me either after her demonstration.

So we end up back at hers and it’s all good…. Until she realizes that her cell phone is missing. Now this is a level 10 state break. There are a couple of terrible things that can pretty much destroy your chances of anything happening with a girl. 1. Lost Friend 2. Lost Keys 3. Lost Cell Phone

I know this and it’s practically tattooed on my brain. But I’m in a limbo place because I am kind of friends with this girl. The giraffe is my homey and she clearly needs to pass out so I tell her that I will handle this so she can just crash out. We grab a taxi and check the bar and the gas station to no avail. It appears that she left her phone in a random taxi. With no password. And a ton of “private” photos on it.

So she is really distressed and actually crying a bit. I mean she is going to have to drop some serious dosh to cover this issue. And I think she is going to have to cancel a trip she was planning. So she is in a very unhappy mood by the time we are in bed. I use my magical massage powers to get her completely nude, but there is no kissing and she’s still crying.

I help her deactivate her phone so that at least it can’t be used if it’s snatched, but it’s still expensive and got those photos. I try to remain the rock in this situation. But I hate being in the limbo between friends and more than friends or whatever. I know what to do if I’m in one position or the other, but in between sucks.

She makes me promise to take her to the phone store the moment it opens in the morning at 9am. So now I’m locked in. Crap.

We fool around a little but she doesn’t let me get past 2nd base and eventually I just fall asleep. She is actually a really good cuddler. But I find it hard to sleep as the big spoon. I know and I don’t care. It’s just what I like. I’m a little spoon kinda guy.

So I pass out.

I wake up and give it a 2nd go at like 6am or something. I get her halfway warmed up before she slams the breaks again.

This is where I hit my dilemma. I was sober enough to drive home and I could sleep in my bed and make it to my favorite gym day of the week. That’s 100% what I would do if this girl was just a girl I was creeping on or whatever. But if she’s my friend I have to stay to take her in the morning to sort out her phone situation.

So I stick around because I promised and I don’t wanna be a promise breaker. So we get up and in the end she drives and the Giraffe comes with us. And I’m not sure why I’m even there. The guy at the phone store is kinda handsome but dumb as a rock and she flirts with him super hard in front of me. I’m not really sure if that’s appropriate or not, I just wanna get home to recover. Then they make me go to breakfast with them and it’s ok I guess but she is getting more and more angry about stuff and kind of acting like an asshole to be honest.

In the car on the way home she demands that I tell her the fastest way to her place and no scenic route. Then halfway home when I suggest a different turn she tells me to shut up. It’s a nice mixed message. I just want out of there. As soon as we get to her place she heads over to her neighbor’s house. Now I know that he’s one of the 8 guys in her current rotation. So I’m outa there.

The truth is most of the night I was analyzing and trying to determine the best course of action. I don’t have an emotional investment in this girl, so I am able to maintain my objectivity, but just barely.

I think if I’d slipped out I woulda come off as more of an asshole, which probably would have increased her attraction for me, but could have upset my friend the Giraffe. Oftentimes, girls can’t separate kindness from weakness. Her actions toward me became more and more negative because she thought I was helping her because I’m attracted to her. When really I was helping the Giraffe. Girl’s don’t seem to be able to separate those two things very effectively.

Originally me and this girl did not get along, so I got plenty of solo time with the Giraffe. But now every time I hang out with the Giraffe her roommate is there. And it’s not something I mind, but it adds a layer of complexity to this social situation. The best action at this point is to break rapport. But now I have to break rapport with both of them. Basically I can’t text/hang out with the Giraffe for about a week. Ironically, I’m heading to Florida for 10 days next week. So it will be about 3 weeks of breaking rapport. C’est la vie.

One of the hardest things for new guys to figure out is exactly where they fit into the hierarchy of the venues they go to.

I was out with some new guys in Nashville last night and I saw this happening for them.  As I woke up this morning in bed with two girls who were both several inches taller as well as stronger than me, former natioanal athletes, I decided I would share a little bit about how to get there.

When you are in high school and college too, it feels like there is a social order everywhere you go.  You could probably line up the kids in your grade from coolest to least cool with little trouble.  And most of the other students would probably come up with a pretty similar list if they were being honest with themselves.  Inside your head you probably have a sense of how cool you are on a scale from 1-10.  i would like you to think about that right now.  When you go to a bar or club, you probably try to assess everyone in relation to you.  So if you feel like a 4.  You assume that 60% of the people are cooler than you.

This feeling can occur in different ways.  Maybe you just assume that 60% of the people know each other.  Maybe you think that that many of the people are in relationships etc.  But it kind of becomes your barrier to succcess.  As you’re interacting with women, this can be in the back of your mind.  As soon as you learn a few cool pickup lines and go to try them out, you are basically throwing something new out there and waiting to see what happens.  In your heart you are hoping that your rank instantly changes.

You can become so interested in the trees that you don’t even realize that there is a forest.

The truth is that your not in high school anymore and that social hierarchies are an artificial construct.  Now I know I’m using some big boy words here and I apologize for that.  What I mean is that your social rank in a group is imaginary.  It only exists if everyone agrees to believe in it.  It is like the story of the Emperor’s New Clothes.  He is dressed until 1 person breaks the group mindset.  It only takes 1 person.  If you refuse to accept letting other people tell you how cool you are etc, then you break the entire system.

You get to determine how cool you are!

Coolness is actually a factor of self-confidence and how you project that self confidence.  So start assuming you are the coolest person.  If you act like you are 10 on the cool scale you will become that 10.  You can bend reality if you believe in yourself enough.  Last night the guys I was with made me change bars like 7 times.  Each new bar I would have it going on with a new girl and people were loving me.

Now you are probably thinking that’s because I have killer game.  But that’s only HALF of it.  The more important factor is that I BELIEVE I have killer game.  By believing in myself I create myself.  So when I walk into bars like a celebrity people are absorbed into my reality.

I walked into 8 or 9 bars last night and I was only carded at 1 of them.  The bar the 2 girls bounced me to at the end of the night.  Everyone else got carded everywhere we went.  If you walk in with authority instead of submitting to the lame ID Line – people react to it accordingly.  No one who’s not 21 has that kind of confidence.

So you can become the eye of the storm in any bar or club you go to.  Just move reality with you.  Act the way you think a cool person should act until you actually become one with the idea that you ARE cool.  I mean you read this blog, that is a clear sign that your awesome in my book.!

I recently read the book Sole Survivor.  It’s about the journey of a guy who became a Navy Seal and then barely survived after his entire team is killed in front of him in Afghanistan.  The book is amazing and super intense and it’s a totally true story.

Today I want to talk with you about something from the first part of the book – Navy Seal Training.  If you have ever watched Discovery Channel then you have probably seen some Navy Seals training.  I have met several Navy Seals in my life and these guys are some seriously tough bastards.  During the training there is a bell on the beach that anyone can ring to say that he’s quit.  After you ring the bell, they give you a second chance.  Only a few guys actually take that second chance and get back to doing pushups in the surf at 3am.  But NONE of those guys ever actually complete the Navy Seals training.  None of them.

You know why?  Their spirit has already broken.  Once there is a crack, it’s easy for it to break again.  Ringing that bell a second time is a hell of a lot harder than the first time.

The guys who actually pass through all the training have already decided that they will either complete the training or die trying.  They don’t have a third option.  There’s a reason these guys are on the front line.

So how does this relate to meeting women?  Well let me tell you.

I get calls and emails from guys about training all the time.  In London I taught hundreds of guys  and in that time I learned to be able to tell who would succeed and who wouldn’t.  The reason I became so good so fast is that when I read The Game I made a decision.  I would master pickup or I would die trying.  I would not give up without leaving a lot of my blood on the floor.  And if you read from my first six months in pickup there is a lot of bleeding.  I failed so much, but I never gave up.  I never considered ringing the bell.  But every single guy who does always falls short.

It was this way for all the guys I came up with and it’s that way for guys now.  My lovesystems bootcamp was so expensive for me.  I was a full time student at the time just scraping by with a tutoring gig.  It took me THREE months after my bootcamp to pay it off.  And guess what?  I fought and bled for that money.  And I worked my ass off in my bootcamp.  It was a fight or die scenario for me.

I get calls from guys who just don’t want to put in the effort.  And there’s nothing I can do.  When a guy calls me to cancel a session I know that he’s ringing the bell and it breaks my heart.  There are tons of excuses I hear.  And I’m really not trying to call anyone specific out here.  This has happened to me about 30 times in my teaching career.  The moment a guy says he can’t afford it or doesn’t have time or wants to get good enough to use his lesson with me well.  All I hear is a ringing bell.  I am insanely good at sales.   I could talk any guy into taking a lesson from me.

But if it doesn’t come from within then it won’t last.  It’s sad but it’s just the way life is.  If you want to succeed at something, remove all other options from the table.

I might sound like a dick right now, but if there’s one thing about me I practice what I preach.  I just signed a contract with a new gym today that is KILLING me.  I am flying to Hawaii in 21 days for a month.  I told the guys I want to lose 20 pounds before my flight takes off.  I will do whatever it takes.  I am retraining my heart and my body and it hurts so bad.  But I don’t have a third option.  I have zero doubt that I will be looking super sexy before I hit the island.  And guess what?  When I get back I’m doing another month before I try to move permanently.  I want it so bad I can taste it.

So if you want to get good at pickup – beg, borrow and steal to get the training you need.  And please.  Don’t even think about ringing that bell.

Man.  WordPress deleted my blog post on this topic TWICE.  How crap is that?  So let’s start over one more time.

Most people learn about the term “frame control” when learning about shit tests.  I love that term, but unfortunately most people hear it and don’t correctly understand it.  She’s not giving you shit – she’s testing to see if you’re full of it.  And let’s be honest, most puas are full up to the brim of the stuff.  So we shouldn’t be surprised that women want to see if we are what we claim to be.  Think of it as a woman kicking the tires.

But let’s get to the core of the matter.

What is a Frame?

A frame, or paradigm, is how you see the world.  Every single person out there has a frame that is unique to them.  Think of it this way.  You look at the world through a window.  The frame around the window determines how you see things.  If you’re frame is star-shaped then everything will looks like stars.  If your frame is yellow that color will tint everything.

You’re frame is built out of your beliefs.  These beliefs have a great range.  Here are some beliefs that I have:  I am a man.  My parents love me.  I have blue eyes.  I am intelligent.  I am good at my job.  I deserve success.  Women like me.  I am attractive.  I am better than most men with women.  I am a good dating coach.  I am a great dating coach.  Other dating coaches respect me.  I have a lot to offer the world.

Some of these beliefs seem so basic and yet I know of a person who believes the opposite of each one of these about themselves.  I know plenty of people who were born as men but they don’t think of themselves as men.  That one belief changes how they view the whole world and how they deal with it.

You have to think about your core beliefs.  Do you believe you are attractive?  The stronger your frames, the more difficult it is for someone to shake them.

When Frames Collide

When two people meet their worldviews meet.  Two people cannot interact successfully with conflicting worldviews.  So there are only 3 outcomes every single time you meet a new person.

If you walk up to a woman and think to yourself that you don’t deserve her.  If your worldview wins, you will have convinced her that you don’t deserve her.  For this reason a weak initial frame keeps most men from having beautiful, amazing women.  Think about all those guys you have seen with a woman and you thought “Why is SHE with HIM?”  Guess what – he doesn’t believe that!  He thinks he deserves her.  In fact, he probably thinks she is lucky to be with him.

When you are journeying along the path of the pickup artist, you will often pretend to be something you’re not.  We have all been told to fake it til we make it.  There is a discrepency between who you are and who you WANT to be.

I am Not What I Seem to be

This goes through my mind all the time.  Every time I stretch my arms a little I feel this.  Whenever I grow in business I am nervous.  Last week I closed a huge deal that is worth ALL my other deals put together.  I was nervous and felt like maybe I didn’t deserve it. We all go through these feelings.  It’s reality.

When you are learning to become better with women you will have similar feelings.  The first time you talk to a 6 or 7 or 8 or 9 or 10, in the back of your mind you will experience a little bit of doubt.  It’s at this moment that a woman will deliver a shit test.  It can feel like a kick to the stomach.  But if you realize that she is actually reacting to your own self-belief you will be able to handle the moment effectively.

How to Win the Frame War

What do I do if she says …..?

I get this question all the time from students.  There are as many surprises as there are women.  If you just try and prepare for each case, you will be studying forever.  And your personality will disappear into an ocean of fixed responses.  You don’t want to approach it this way.

If you are fully self-actualized then being tested won’t matter to you.  You probably won’t even notice them.  As I have gotten better at game, the way I deal with these frame tests has changed.

A Practical Example

Are you gay?

I have probably been asked this question more than a thousand times by women.  If you had a time machine you could go back and watch each time a woman said this to me.  My reaction would tell you exactly where I was on my journey to seduction masterhood.

When I first started talking to women and a girl would ask if I was gay I would think to myself that it was all over.  I had failed to seduce her.  And I would eject from the conversation as fast as I could.  As I got better I tried out different witty responses.  I always considered this the biggest hurdle to my game.  I slowed down my speech and I moved my arms around less.  And women stopped asking if I was gay.  But I would forget all the time.

Now when a woman asks if I am gay my whole mindset has changed.  I realized a couple of things.  I only care if a man is gay if he is hitting on me.  I only care if a woman is gay if I am attracted to her.  It’s the same as asking if she has a boyfriend.  So now I see this question as a HUGE sign of attraction.  If a woman asks if I am gay then I know it’s ON!

What changed?

Now my frame is much stronger.  I believe that all women are attracted to me.  I can’t imagine a woman not being attracted to me.  I’m too dynamic and amazing.  You should feel the same way about yourself.

The Final Example

Frame control is a way of controlling the interaction.  You want to turn what she says into what you WANTED her to say.  If a woman asks if I’m gay I can either think (1) She sees how weak I am and is rejecting me or (2) she is letting me know she’s attracted.

The greatest example of frame control is from the movie 300.

Persian -  Our arrows will block the sun.

Spartan – Then we shall fight in the shade.

It's funny how we get into pickup because we want more women in our lives and as soon as that starts to happen we realize that it wasn't the problem, just a symptom.

It's like that amazing line from Brad Pitt in Fight Club.  "We're a generation of men raised by women.  I'm wondering if another women is really the answer we need."  Like all of my brothers – my fellow wings, coaches, instructors and acolytes I have discovered that I want more.  It's why my life has exploded in so many directions.

Once guys start having more girls or cuter girls or sometimes it's just ANY girls in their lives, they start to look for more projects.  The path of self-discovery seems to have no endpoint.  Soon it becomes all about inner game.  Developing an iron sense of self.  Then you want financial independence.  After that you start to seek locational independence.

I am moving on that path myself.  I have expanded my business ventures in a dozen directions in the last few months.  Like every other guy I know in pickup, internet marketing is one of those directions.  Hopefully my new project will work out and I'll be in a really good financial position within a few months. 

But this post isn't about me, it's about you.

As you move along this journey and track your progress with your blog, who you are and what you want will change.  I used to just want to get married so bad.  I thought it would solve all of my problems.  Now I see the world in a completely different way.  I keep changing careers.  I am 29 and I am still finding myself and exploring every passion.

To be honest, there is nothing I love more than teaching guys what's possible.  Pickup is just the medium for the education.  It's a means to an end. 

So start trying the things you have always wanted to do or the things you've always been afraid to do.  You might just find yourself.

Moving from Beginner to Intermediate and Beyond

One of the biggest challenges in going from beginner to intermediate game is moving away from out people’s routines or techniques to creating your own. A lot of this challenge comes from feeling like there is something about your personality you have to hide from women.

Being Honest with HER

It’s the most embarrassing parts of your life that a woman can find the most endearing. If you have a comic book collection, you want to talk about how you ACTUALLY feel about your comics. If you try to keep that part of your life a secret and you act all nervous or shy when a woman sees your collection, then you are lying to yourself and to her. Instead you want to present this part of your personality early on. It is the things in our lives that are the nerdiest that often make us special.

You should start talking about how you collect comics. It’s rare for women to collect them because they are designed to appeal to the way men see the world. The shame is that most women only see them as cartoons and don’t realize that the majority of comic books, like science fiction, is a medium for a critique of modern society. Although it might seem like X-Men is just a bunch of people with powers fighting all the time, it is actually a critique of racism.

Suddenly a hobby that could easily be frames as lame or nerdy is put into a better light. The point is to let her see the real you as early as possible. I will be happy to talk about any specific hobbies that people post in their replies below.

Being Honest with Yourself

The is another really important aspect of honesty that you should look at. How often when you WANT to physically escalate do you resist because of fear. You don’t do what you really want to do and instead do what you THINK you are supposed to do. This is another form of lying. You are lying with your body and to yourself. I always escalate when I suddenly feel it.

For me there is a moment in attraction where it just hits me. I want her. It’s like in that Counting Crows song where he says “she’s suddenly beautiful.” When I suddenly realize that with a girl, I just pull her in close. I say “Can I tell you something really serious?” And she will expect a dramatic bomb, so it builds a little bit of that crucial tension. “You are so beautiful that talking to you makes me feel really nervous.” And then I put her hand on my heart.

Why is this such a powerful escalation move? Because it’s pure honesty. She can feel how fast my heart is beating. I don’t have the ability to up my heart rate and fake that, so she connects with me. I am saying it exactly when I feel it. It’s emotionally risky. It’s scary. It’s hard. I know that. Every time I say it I am really nervous, but the reaction is always amazing. She melts.

Honesty is the key to escalation. When should you try to kiss a girl? When you WANT to. I once asked a girl how long I had to talk to her before we could start kissing. We were kissing 2 minutes later.

So let’s get to the core of the matter.

Why is honesty powerful?

Let’s think about the value we place on honesty. We hate politicians because they lie to us. We hate when we find out our girlfriends are cheating.

Who do we normally lie to? We lie to our parents when we don’t want to get in trouble. We lie to our bosses when we don’t want to get fired. We lie to our girlfriends when we don’t want to get dumped.
So we lie to people who have power over us. IF you are lying to a girl in a club, you are subcommunicating that she has power over you. She has something you want. This power disparity is something that she will notice and it will make your sets harder to close. She might think you are funny, but she won’t trust you. She might not even be sure why.

It’s important to remember that women are naturally more socially savvy and aware than men are. They notice lying faster. They have to. It’s a genetic survival trait. Women are smaller than men, so they have to notice danger faster.

So remember. Bring more honesty into your sets and you will see attraction hit harder and last longer. Also you won’t have to try and remember which girl you told you were an astronaut and which one you told you were a cowboy.

So for the past month I have had a girlfriend.  I was so into her that I stopped writing posts about my dating life.  It’s weird how I can care about someone enough to respect their privacy.  When I basically live without any myself.

I have been back in my hometown for a week now.  I’m a little hesitant to say where I am, because I have some internet stalkers on a few weird forums who have been talking about my family etc.  So for now I’ll let you guys figure it out.

Anyways I think about my x like every day.  It’s really strange because technically we are broken up.  But in my heart I just miss her so bad.  Now at least I know that I am capable of loving someone.  The thought of eternal monogamy is pretty terrifying though.  But I guess I’ll figure it out.  Just not quite yet….