Recently someone was asking my how I feel about qualification.  In the past I have talked about how I think this phase is uneccessary.  And I want to delve a little deeper into that today.

I think asking inane questions you don’t care about just to make a girl jump through hoops and build compliance is lame.  “Can you cook?” is the worst question ever.

Let’s get the the meat of the topic.

There are two ways of getting from attraction to seduction and both of them work great, it just depends on what you really want.  I mostly turn club sets into one night stands and I find my more girlfriendy situations in different places.  So my game is calibrated to this.  If you want a short term relationship with a lot of heat then you want to escalate like crazy.  If you want day 2s and 3s then you want to build a real connection.

So what is qualification?

It’s finding out if she has what you are looking for in a person.  When your game gets very advanced qualification becomes a part of your complete set.  I often disqualify girls within the first 30 seconds.  I can open a girl and find out if I like her that quickly.  I don’t like girls that play games or like to be mean to strangers.  I consider this a terrible quality so if my opener doesn’t hook right or the girl says something lame, instead of feeling a rejection I just feel my attraction plummet and she stops existing for me.  My universe revolves around me, so being rejected by someone I’m not attracted to just doesn’t matter.  Who cares if a jerk doesn’t like them.

So you need to sit down and really think about what qualities are important to you and what qualities you don’t care about.  Maybe you care about punctuality or maybe you don’t.  But the sooner you are honest with yourself the better.

I like girls that are intelligent, cool, dynamic, funny and have a worldy mindset.  I don’t want to date girls that hate travel, are dumb or just don’t seem cool.  I don’t want to be with a girl who doesn’t fit into my lifestyle or will have a problem with the fact that all of my friends are creepy pickup artists.

So I ask questions to find out exactly what makes a girl awesome.

1.  What’s your story.

2.  What do you love to do?

3.  If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?  Why?

These are pretty much the questions that I ask everyone I meet.  I screen men just as much as I screen women.  I like people that have many dimensions to them and like a lot of cool things.  Just having one or two things in common isn’t enough.

I am spending the month in Hawaii and I am planning on moving her full time if this works out in the new year.  So I am trying to meet as many guys and girls as possible right now.  I am looking for people that I like chilling with and I’m trying to assemble my new crew.  It’s just how I live.

I have already met about 40 dudes through pickup.  That’s more than I can sarge with on a steady basis.  You can really only have a circle of 5-12 friends in my opinion that you really see enough to stay close with.  So when I meet everyone I ask them the same questions I ask girls.  I wanna see who I like hanging with in between talking to girls.

So when you go out please take the time to build that connection and ask some deep questions.  Being real is the most powerful form of game.

So for the past month I have had a girlfriend.  I was so into her that I stopped writing posts about my dating life.  It’s weird how I can care about someone enough to respect their privacy.  When I basically live without any myself.

I have been back in my hometown for a week now.  I’m a little hesitant to say where I am, because I have some internet stalkers on a few weird forums who have been talking about my family etc.  So for now I’ll let you guys figure it out.

Anyways I think about my x like every day.  It’s really strange because technically we are broken up.  But in my heart I just miss her so bad.  Now at least I know that I am capable of loving someone.  The thought of eternal monogamy is pretty terrifying though.  But I guess I’ll figure it out.  Just not quite yet….

This is probably the best movie for people in the scene.  It is simply amazing.  It really shows the way a guy can interact with his oneitis, the way he controls her without realizing it, the ways to escape your past and the power of friendship.

I hate the title of this movie and that kept me from watching it for a long time.  It is designed to catch the attention of teenage girls and I believe that is the intended audience for the movie, but the film is simply awesome.  I am not going to break down the plot there.  The truth is you will either trust me and watch this movie or not.  It still blows my mind how many guys want to get good with women, yet refuse to watch The L Word.  I have been screaming the name of that show for a full year now.  I bet you haven’t watched a single episode have you?  I don’t think anyone should be allowed to complain about escalation until they have watched at least 3 seasons.  It’s simply necessary.

But this movie is amazing at showing the power friendship can play in social dynamics.  The sweetness of this movie is really inspiring.  If you want to really understand how relationships blossom in a dynamic way, watch this movie.  It is really powerful and moving.  You will learn a lot about all of the other prerequisites of game too, don’t worry.  It has a ton of frame control, shit tests and locational comfort.

Like I said, I watched this movie for the 2nd time last night.  There is about 20 minutes I would like to cut out of the movie, as one character is just really annoying to me.  But I skip through her  scenes and it’s fine now.  I think the most powerful lesson comes from the last lines of the movie.  The girl says “Are you sad that we missed it?” and the boy responds with “We didn’t miss it.  This IS it.”

He is so right.  Often we are so unable to live in the moment as we focus on what isn’t happening in our lives.  Concerts are awesome.  I love them.  I go all the time.  What is really important is the emotions we share and the impact we have on the world.  I recommended this movie on the London forum recently.  Something tells me a lot of guys are missing this amazing movie.  And that is a shame.  Because this is it.

So after she snuck out while I was asleep, I was uncertain about seeing the Czech girl again.  I wasn’t even sure if I would ever hear from her again.  So I threw her a text to see if she was ok, made it home etc.  She texted back that she hadn’t wanted to wake me while I was sleeping.  I told her that was really sweet and I left it there.  I think we all know why she didn’t wake me up.  It was a damn prison break.

So I texted her again a day later here and there and I set up a date for monday night after a short 1on1 with a student.  We met at 9 and had a single drink in a bar.  We chilled and it was nice.  Unfortunately, I finally run into the Italian girl I saw a few weeks ago when I’m with this girl.  The Italian girl is so beautiful and I can see the jealousy in her eyes.  I don’t know if that set is dead, but I am trying to avoid gaming one girl while on a date with another.  I mean a guy has to have SOME limits don’t he?

So after an hour we just start walking.  She can tell where we are going.  I am like we are just gonna chill a little at my place.  We get straight into bed and I put her into another one of my shirts.  Unfortunately, the hilarious game shirt from Starlight that I had her wear on Friday was still in the wash.  So she was wearing a shirt that I actually like and wear a lot.  We just snuggle a lot and I keep trying to escalate.  It was like the battle of Stalingrad.  A war of attrition.

It took hours to break down her defences.  She has the most arbitrary set of rules I have even encountered.  She won’t let me get under her shirt or jeans all night.  After about 6 hours I get her hot enough that she lets me party in boob town.  Usually with a girl once I’m there is it on like Donkey Kong.  But not with her.  We are making out so hot and heavy.  I decide to drop a CaliPimp move and put my finger in her mouth.  She destroys it.  I am like I gotta get my dick involved in this action.  But she is having none of it.  She won’t touch my cock at all.  Not even with her hand.

She will let me rub her crotch over her jeans, but only if we are dry humping.  If I am lying next to hear I am not allowed to touch it.  It is so strange to try and decode this girl.  I mean she has her legs wrapped around me and it is sex with a little denim in between us.  By the end I am totally naked, even though she still has her jeans on.  We dry hump like crazy and eventually I kneel over her and blow my load on her belly, but most of it gets into her belt buckle.  I wasn’t really focusing.  I probably could have come on her face, but that’s really not a big fetish for me.

Finally, I crash out and she leaves in the morning.  This time I am awake when she leaves.

I found out in the middle of the night that she has a boyfriend back home.  The source of all her resistance.  She asks how I would feel if I found out she has a boyfriend in her village and I told her I wouldn’t care.  I really don’t.  I don’t have time to be jealous or whatever.  And I certainly don’t think less of her.  Of course she wants to hook up with me.  I’m awesome sauce.

We have been on another date since, but she is staying with a host family so can’t sleep over a lot.  Mystel really likes her.  She loves his magic and she thinks she is hot and cool.  He actually warned me not to break her heart.  She sent me a text last night to let me know how special she feels with me.  Tonight is our last date before she leaves the country.  Will let you know….

In one night I gained access to a new social tier and I had an amazing date with a really sweet girl.  It was awesome.  The promoter I met through High Roller hit me up this week and invited me to Jalouse.  He said could have the run of the table with 3 friends if I bring 10 girls.  I text my man Mr M and he says let’s do it.  So me, him and Daxx decide to rock out.  We end up rolling up with more than 30 girls.  The girl running the line LOVED me.  It was so badass.

All the guys at the table loved me and texted me within 24 hours.  I have some new really cool contacts in London and Brighton now.  Basically rich cool guys who seem to like hot women.  Go figure.  The night was awesome and now I have access to another club that is member’s only except for this one promoter.  It’s so cool to make friends.  And not have to spend cash to get there.

The good part of then night for me was chilling with my lovely Czech girl.  She was a student from an English class I taught this week.  I waited to ask her out until I finished teaching at the school.  She is really sweet and insanely beautiful.  But energy is everything.  We met up an hour early for a drink and just chilled.  I didn’t amp up that much attraction as I have massive status as her teacher and I had a feeling that bringing 30 girls to a badass club would be enough.  So I just built comfort.  I teased her a lot about her country having no running water and being over run with werewolves.  We looked at her house and her little village on Google Earth on my Blackberry.  (PS Get a blackberry it’s awesome!!!)  So we just chatted and had a nice time until Daxx rolled up.  He looked dapper as shit and I think that made me look really cool.

We roll up to the club and I am like a lion tamer trying to control a gaggle of girls.  Being in charge is massively stressful for me but gives so much value it’s insane.  I really try to spend a lot of time with my girl and I tell all the other dudes on the table which girl is mine and I introduce all the other ones.  Each guy made an effort to make me look cooler to her.  It was awesome.  It took me HOURS to get a kiss off her.

We were standing outside having a smoke, well I was smoking.  And she was sitting on a wall and I was stood between her legs.  Each time I leaned in to kiss her she would giggle or turn her head.  Now this is important for guys new to game.  This isn’t a no from a girl, this is a not yet.  Crucial distinction.  She says “what’s on your mind” and I said nothing.  Then I ask her and she says nothing.  I’m like interesting.. and she says the same thing.  Sexual tension is slowly building.  I am having a little escalation anxiety to be honest.  And that is the sure sign that it is time to escalate.  So I say to her that I am thinking of kissing her.  And we kiss.  It’s really lovely and sweet.

Throughout the night I have to leave her to chill with all my friend and ladies.  The whole time she is really chill and manages to make her own fun.  We dance a ton and it’s really sexy and sensual.  Eventually, I ask if she’s ready to go.  She asks where and I say my house.  She tells me she doesn’t want to have sex.  Ha.  Why was she thinking about that?

So eventually we go outside and she wants to find her night bus home.  I take something I learned from Sebastian Drake and Switch and I just keep telling her that it’s a good idea to grab a cab and come to mine.  We come back and she let’s me know we’re not gonna have sex again.  Now maybe I’m just a big pansie, but I really enjoy a good cuddle.  I use Sheriff’s LMR tactics.  I just hand her a shirt to wear and turn around while she changes.  We spend hours looking at facebook pictures of each other, kissing and cuddling.  I get a tiny bit of over the shirt boob action.

When I was 13, I would have killed for this kind of action. I fall asleep with her in my arms.  It’s a great way to build an emotional connection with a girl.  And you can have sex in the morning!

Unless you wake up and she’s gone.  With your shirt neatly folded and placed on your laptop.  I’m going to see her again.  It sucks that she’s leaving so soon.  C’est la vie.

It took 2 weeks of high angle text game to get a date out of the Author.  She has amazing blue eyes that pierce right through me.  I made some serious tactical mistakes in setting up the date, that will reveal themselves throughout the story.  I finally got the date when she said to meet up on Friday.  Of course Friday morning I read my man Tenmagnet’s post on Dating Amushes. This is one of the best articles on dating and date mistakes I’ve read in AGES.  I should not have let her set the date for Friday night.  It messed up my chance to meet and chill with the legend, Zan.

So we meet up at 7pm on a Friday night.  She looks amazing, except for she is rocking a mustache.  This is my personal pet peeve for women.  I have have really been paying attention since this date and a LOT of women are rocking cookie dusters.  I try to ignore these things, but damn hers was pretty much a Tom Selleck situation.

To be honest I was able to put it aside and plow through the date.  I don’t really have the strength to go through moment by moment of what happened.  Basically she spent the whole night picking at my frame.  I am used to major frame assault and tests.  Waht I am not used to is this tactic.  For example, when we went into the 2nd bar of the night I didn’t offer to pay for her drink.  I just don’t roll like that.  The girl has a high paying mayfair job and can support herself.  I don’t pay for a girl as it sets the wrong frame.  I don’t mind doing rounds like normal people.

She is like I guess you’ve never dated a French or Italian girl have you???  I was like what?  I have definately made out with both kinds. Hehe.  Anyways I was pushed onto my back foot.  All night she dropped hints about how she likes to date good-looking French snowboard instructors.  Actually, even writing this story is starting to depress me, but it’s educational so listen up!  So she kept pushing about how it’s classy to pay for a girl etc.  After her badgering I was like it’s 2 pounds to shut this girls mouth.  We need to focus here.  On a first date she was henpecking me.  I was doing something I didn’t want to to avoid a confrontation.  I should have stopped the date right here.  It’s a clear sign that she is a horrible girlfriend.  This tactic will only get worse.

Now I have already mentioned that she brought up her good looking ex-boyfriends about 8 times.  I never talk about exes on a date.  It’s a weird way of trying to demonstrate preselection.  I don’t need to do this.  I have an awesome life.  I can ignore a girl making comments about other guy’s being good looking a couple of times with no affect.  But she did it enough that it put another crack into my frame.  This girl was insidious.

Third, I told her I didn’t want to talk about work.  I really hate spending an entire date talking about my coaching etc.  I told her that I’m a writer and a life-coach.  I just didn’t want to spend three hours talking about pickup coaching.  For me it just makes a date boring.  So I changed the subject 30 times and told her again I don’t want to talk about work.  She would keep shifting the subject back to my work by asking a new question.  She just basically interrogated me constantly.  And when I would ask her a comfort-building question she said are you gonna ask me questions all night?  When she made this comment it would poke against my frame again.

Now individually I can handle each of these attacks. I have strengthened my inner game a LOT over the past 20 months.  Now I wasn’t ready for this type of frame war.  She came in softly, softly.  I didn’t realize any of this until I spent the rest of the night analyzing why I was depressed after my date.  I normally am happy after a date.  I love spending time with pretty girls.

Now if there is one thing I hate on a date more than anything, it is awkward conversation over a huge ass dinner table in a brightly lit restaurant. Guess what.  She needled me into that situation.  She forced us into having a bad date and then when it was bad blamed me for it.  She wouldn’t even kiss me and left at 10 to go to bed early.  I was never gonna text her or think about her again but she wrote me a huge text 2 days later.

So I waited a few days and decided to let her know that we are on two different pages.  Her text back was a frame assault on long the lines of “Of course we aren’t on the same page…”  This girl was a master of frame control.  In a way I respect her ability.  It’s just too bad that she uses it for evil.

So please take a lesson from my horrible date.  She boiled me slowly like a Frog.  Just took my frame 1% at a time.  The night before our date, I thought about canceling when she mentioned work early on Sat.  From now on I will cancel if I sense any trouble!

BTW drunk texting is so 2000 and LATE!  High texting is where it is AT!!!

Easy to say, but let’s be honest – Hard to do!  If you can overcome jealousy, it will change your life.  Don’t be fooled into thinking I have conquered jealousy, but I have certainly beaten it back.  A few years ago I was a level-1 jealous dude.  I hated anyone who talked to my oneitis.  It was a deep fiery rage.  I thought she was banging all these dudes behind my back.  (of course she actually was….)

The Rewards

I am going on a date Friday with one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen.  She is the girl from the White Wedding and let me be honest, I have had to play this bad boy cooler than any girl in the past.  That night I saw her with another dude multiple times.  I noticed him try to kiss her and there was a lot of close-talking.  I was somehow objective.  I didn’t feel anything about this other dude.  I could have been intimidated by him easily.  He was taller and bigger than me.  Wearing a fancy suit. I just didn’t care.  I assumed she would come back.  And she did. Beautiful girls deal with jealousy so much.  I used to want to date girls that no one else found attractive.  Think about that one sentence for a few minutes.  Jealousy kept beautiful women from wanting me and kept me from wanting beautiful women.  High value women have active social lives that they don’t want to sacrifice.  If a woman does give up her male friends for you, she will resent you.  Eventually it will come bubbling to the surface.

The Challenge

In the back of your mind, it’s so easy to imagine your beautiful girl meeting a better pickup artist when you’re not around.  You can’t always be around.  So you have to find a way to live without jealousy.  There is no positive to this emotion.  It’s our natural instinct to want to control what’s ours.  We want to mark our territory and keep other guys away.  Johnny Soporno teaches an opposite mindset.  He is a guy who has beaten jealousy totally.  I’m not at that level yet.  I don’t know if I want to be totally without this emotion, but I want to minimize it.

Enough Crap – How to do it

We know jealousy is bad.  We know it keeps us from beautiful women and we know that it is part of us. The first step is to decide to change.  From there just try to notice every time you become jealous or nervous.  Realize it is an expression of your insecurity.  Super high value men don’t get jealous because they don’t need to.  If their girl cheats, they can just replace her.  That is a powerful frame. Every time you are jealous in the club, actively try not to be.  Just think about how you are a great guy.  Work on defeating your insecurity.  Progress on your inner game development.

Final Thoughts

The way to defeat jealousy is to accept yourself.  It takes a long time to get there.  I used to be the king of freaking out when guys stole my sets.  I would like to think I have gotten over this, but not totally.  I am just on a path to mastery and sharing a few thoughts here.  It’s important to realize there are no benefits to being jealous.  It is not an educational emotion.  If you lose a girl, it’s better to react objectively and look at what you did wrong. It’s funny but lately I have been reading the blog of a guy I worked with ages ago.  He has some of the best stuff going on right now.  I just think his blog is so hilarious and he’s having crazy sexual escapades.  I called him on Monday to talk about it and he was actually jealous of some of the crazy stuff I’ve been involved in lately.  So guys the grass is always greener.  Really work on accepting your life and only try to change things for yourself. I haven’t had a drink in over 2 weeks because I am determined to get into amazing shape.  It’s not for any girl, it’s only for me.  That is why I am able to endure, even though I LOVE getting drunk.  When we try to change for other people it rarely sticks, but when we try to change for ourselves we can see great results.  The core of jealousy resides in a lack of self confidence, so as you learn to love yourself, your jealousy will drift away! Good luck!

So I have been seeing a Welsh girl for a few weeks.  Think I’ve mentioned her a few times.  She doesn’t kiss til the 3rd date.  After our 2nd date she stopped returning my texts.  It took me a full week to notice.  So I sent her a message asking if she’d stopped returning my texts.  I didn’t feel anything.

A few years ago I would have stressed over every single unreturned text.  Now I send out a couple hundred messages a week to girls and mates, so one can slip through the cracks.  It takes me a long time to notice if someone is actively trying to pull away.

No idea why it ended with her.  I wish I could say that I cared, but I’m already on to the next girl.  It’s kind of a shame how girls become so replaceable after a time.  If I leave my house I meet someone beautiful.  I don’t know if this is a good or a bad thing.  I don’t pursue relationships like I used to.

I spent several hours last night updating my NLP with Bugsy Malone. We went through a ton of deep issues and I learned things that I did not know about myself. The whole process was really amazing and I have a couple of things to work on this week that will move me closer to my destination. I am going to start making a list of accomplishments in my life. These will become chapters in my new book. I am also going to prioritize my goals list for this year. I am going to do both of them today hopefully. I have a meeting with Jamie in an hour. He is my NLP guru, so I am looking forward to it.

Here are some of the accomplishments in my life that I have not thought about enough. (I will think of more later)

1. As a cub schout I won the pinewood derby for my entire pack. This was my whole school. At 7 I beat a ton of 18 year olds.

2. I am in MENSA. It took me years to get in.

3. I graduated uni in 3 years instead of 4.

4. I won the Latin medal in Latin III in high school. (After getting kicked out of honors..hehe)

5. I moved to Wales, Japan and the UK on my own and survived.

6. I won the high school debate tournament at Bronx School of Science. Which my school has never won before or since.

7. I qualified for the junior olympics twice in tae kwon do.

8. I started the first ever blood drive at my high school.

9. I have been with a woman funnier, better looking and better in bed than my oneitis.

10. I saved the soccer game in high school, when the main goalie broke his arm.

11.  I saved my friend from drowning.

12. I have DJed in clubs in the uk, japan and usa.

13.  I had a podcast in the top 10 on itunes

14.  As a DJ I havehad fan mail from all over the world.

15. I had a radio show in london.

16. I climbed 2 mountains in japan even though i’m afraid of heights.

17. I have partied with billionaires and not spent a penny.

18.  I was offered a job teaching uni.

19.  I was one of the top sales reps at dell.

20. I won the regional championships for nintendo video game tourney at blockbuster 2 years in a row.

21. I was a national merit scholar, with the highest score in my whole school on the psat with a 235

22.  I won university of georgia bulldog debates 2 years in a row.

23. I have been offered a record deal for 2 different tracks.

24. I talked my way out of jail in tunisia.

25. I spoke at the LoveSystems superconference.

Today I was feeling a little down.  The bank is taking ages with my student loan check and it's messing up my finances you know?  So I was on the phone with the whole bank.  It's been three weeks and they said it could be another five.  Had to talk to my dad on the phone.  Anyways, it will sort out.  Then I was talking to one of my friends from Austria and it reminded me of how they made me paranoid about my body.  And then a girl pops online. 

I met a smoking hot girl with Stickler a full year ago.  It was the first time I met Sheriff and I remember every detail of the set.  The girl was insanely beautiful and we were working her and her friend.  Then her boyfriend came back. I just ignored her and talked to him.  We even got some pics of all three of us.  I got her facebook and emailed her.  She is one of the hottest girls I've met in the last year. 

She replied to that initial email just last week.  I was so surprised.  What's amazing is the detail with which I can remember meeting her.  Tells you about the impression she made.  Polish.  Insanely beautiful.  I still remember where she works.  I never remember that!

So we are chatting on im tonight and I am trying to play it cool. She brings up "so when are we gonna go out"…Actually I could copy and paste the whole conversation, but I think it would be boring.  Long story short we are going out Friday.  I'm feeling pretty good again.

I just hope that she doesn't flake or this will become an embarassing post.  Haha.