There are 5 reasons why every pickup artist should go to a bar alone to meet women. Hunting in packs is a classic mistake and it’s time for you to learn to avoid such a lame mistake. There is a reason that we all think snipers are so cool. They hunt alone. It’s all or nothing and it’s on there shoulders. They have no one to blame if they miss that crucial shot.

If you go out to a bar alone you will improve your life for five amazing reasons.

1. You are forced to go out of your shell. When you are in a group, you can have a nice average time without talking to another stranger. You just spend the whole night talking to your friends. When you are in a bar by yourself, you either talk to strangers or you stand their quiet and alone and very bored.

2. People are more likely to approach you. Think about when you want to walk up to a woman. It’s so much easier when she is standing alone than when she is with 10 of her closest friends. Other people feel the same way. When you are standing alone you are far less intimidating.

3. Going out in a pack of guys actually makes you look weak. Guys go out in groups not because they are confident, but because they are not brave enough to be alone. They only understand how other men think. We see strength in numbers. Women see strength in walking alone.

4. Going out alone makes you look confident and will help you to grow your confidence. One of the most beautiful women I ever met was on a night I was in a club alone. She told me that she was so impressed that I was so brave and that she would never have the confidence to go out alone. It actually made me more attractive to her.

5. When you go out in a group you are very likely to just stand there in a circle talking to your friends while not taking action. Your friends actually become an impediment to your success.

So give it a try. Take a few steps out of your shell and see how much people start to respect you and you start to meet the women of your dreams. This is one of the key steps in learning how to get a girlfriend fast.

Two weeks my mom was in the hospital for what we thought was a stroke.  She was really far away visiting one of my sisters, so I was feeling kinda down.  I called the two giants to come console me over a few cocktails that night.

I just kinda didn’t want to think about things.

So I drink alone for an hour or two until they get off work and they show up, but man they just wanted to talk about themselves.  The truth is I probably wouldn’t have called them at all except I just needed someone to drink with on a Monday and most people I know are trying to lead responsible lives right now.  Not that that’s my thing at all!

So we have some drinks etc and I end up back at theirs.  Both separately inform me at this point that I’m sleeping on the couch.  I’ve slept in both of their beds multiple times and I actually wasn’t really pushing to bang.  I mean I was genuinely upset.  The thing is I’m not the kind of man who sleeps on a girls couch anymore.  That guy just doesn’t exist here.

So I called a cab and I rolled out of there.  They straight up pushed against one of my boundaries and I will not have a girl in my life who thinks I’m couchworthy.  You must be joking.

Recently I had a similar issue with boundaries with someone over a work issue.  I had to be extremely firm and explain what my boundaries are and that I will not cross them or allow them to be broken, even for financial gain.

If you constantly let people move your barriers, whether they strorm through like a German blitzkrieg or instead use a battle of inches like on my Date with an Author, you will end up with exactly no territory.  People have a natural inclination to treat you like crap if you allow them to.  The moment someone stops respecting you, you have lost everything.

So start taking yourself and your boundaries seriously.  Decide what you will and will not accept in your life, at work and with your friends.  You will see major differences.

I have always loved having my picture take.  It’s why my personal Facebook page has about 5000 photos and I have almost 3000 of me and my oneitis.  That’s right!  It might be a record in the dating world for most pictures with the girl who broke your heart.  So when a photojournalist emailed me asking if he could spend a week following me and documenting my life, of course I said yes.

After agreeing, I was a little bit nervous, because lately my primary focus has been on writing articles, posting on this blog and making it sexier, putting together training videos and having phone meetings with other dating companies.  Unfortunately, that is not very exciting on camera.  When I was teaching in London, I had from 5-10 students in field with me every single week, and let’s be honest watching guys hit on girls in bars is interesting as hell to watch.  Me typing at my computer, no so much.

So when Austin Anthony started following me that week I put out a call in Nashville.  I would give free training to anyone who was willing to let my photojournalist hang around.  The photos would be primarily of me and we would make sure not to reveal anyone’s secret identities.  Unfortunately, Nashville has the weakest pickup scene of any city I have ever been to.  So out of 200 guys I personally emailed only about 4 replied.  And all of them chickened out and didn’t show up in the end.

Fortunately, one of my students from a year ago called and was down to party.  It was awesome to see how far he has come along in the last year.  I’m very proud of how the photo project came out as well.  I didn’t change anything from my normal routine.  And so it’s one of the most accurate depictions of my life you could get, without spending a week trailing me.

Austin anthony never uses a flash when he takes his pictures.  He feels it can affect the events as they unfold.  He’s really serious about his craft and does everything he can to stay on the outside of events.  It was really interesting for me.  Like having a scientist there who doesn’t want to accidentally affect the experiment.  He has a really badass camera,  all big and professional.  And those can do things in low light that your average pocket camera just can’t do.  A ton of the pictures don’t come out because they are so dark, but the ones that do come out are REALLY revealing.  There were a couple of occasions where he got more than 20 pictures of me talking to a girl.

These are very valuable teaching tools because he actually captures the body language in a moment.  And it allows me to really see what my students are seeing.  I will be using a ton of these photos on here in the near future, as well as part of my teaching tools.

Overall it was a great experience and you should check out Austin’s site at http://austinanthony.blogspot.com/

*photo of me and my wing watching a student in set by Austin Anthony

How to Send the Perfect 1st Text After You Get a Woman’s Number

This is a guest post from Jordan Harbinger, a friend and fellow dating coach over at The Art of Charm.

Here’s My Process For Following Up With A Woman After I Get Her Number

You aren’t the only guy going after the girls you’re interested in.

While that statement is exceptionally simple, it is also crucial to keep in mind if your goal is dating your ultimate woman.

Why?

Because chances are she’s giving out her number on a regular basis and, as a result, you need to maintain (or build) her attraction in you EVERY step of the interaction.

You did yourself well in getting her number, but if you want to actually date her, it’s what you after you receive her number that sets you apart enough to make her want to date you.

In this post, I’m going to show you how I do that with my first text. You’re going to learn how to solidify her attraction and consistently turn your numbers into actual dates. There are just a few key principles you need to know and they are very easy to learn.

You see, a lot of guys can get a girl’s number, but what often happens is they get so excited about pulling numbers… that they give little thought to what to do with them.

(I’m going to avoid the debate of calling versus texting for now, but what you should know is texting is better during these early stages. Not only is it becoming the de facto way to communicate (especially with people you just met), but it’s lower pressure for her, lets her respond when she has the time, and vastly increases YOUR chances of hearing back from her.)

So let’s talk about how to nail that first text, so you can maintain (or grow) her attraction in you and move closer to that first date.

What Your 1st Text Subconsciously Tells Her About You

Though you are only sending 1-3 lines of text, you are giving off (often unconsciously) signals that tell her a lot about what type of guy you are.

For example:

1. Is meeting women a typical behavior for you?
2. Do you have high Social Value?
3. Are you easily manipulated or do you have a strong sense of personal identity?
4. What kind of personality do you have? Will you be able to excite her and make her laugh? Or are you boring like every other guy?
5. Are you needy or do you have other things going on in your life?

These are just a few of the things she will subconsciously pick up from your text messages… and they impact her decision of whether or not she’ll want to move forward with the relationship.

This may seem like a lot pressure to cram on a few lines of text, but once you incorporate these principles into your text game you will naturally give off the right signals.

To begin, we need to look at why most guys don’t get this right.

First Text No-No’s

For many guys the first text is a stressful, agonizing experience. You sit there wracking your brain for hours to come up with the perfect zinger to send… but then end up with something brilliant like:

• Hey what’s up?
• Hey cutie, it was nice meeting you last night. Want to hang out tonight?
• How is your day going?
• What are you up to?
• Do you remember me? -{your name}
• Hey it’s {name} from the bar/party/club last night. What’s up?

These types of texts are typical and THAT’S WHY they’re boring.

Instead of setting you apart, they lump you right into the “lame/boring” category with every other guy.

Not only are they completely devoid of emotional impact, but they kill any initial attraction you built up with her when you got her number in the first place.

What A 1st Text SHOULD Do

How do you write a 1st text that sets you apart and makes her excited to text you back? There are three essential ingredients I’ve found you need:

1. It needs to set a fun, playful tone for future interactions
2. It needs to engage her emotions, causing her to re-affirm her attraction to you
3. It needs to compel her to respond

If you can accomplish all of these in your first text, odds are she will not only respond positively, but will be much more willing to move forward with you.

Let’s take a look how to each element works and how to incorporate them together in your first text.

1. Setting a Fun, Playful Tone

This may sound crazy at first, but fourth-grade humor should be the underlying theme for most of your text messages, including the initial interaction. (This stems from the larger point of your overall successful text strategy, but that is too big for one article. You can learn more about that here.)

Light-hearted, super-silly jokes win women over because they get her constantly associating positive and playful emotions with you.

You can accomplish this by using a variety of tools: nicknames, role-playing, teasing, etc. Plus, always remember that the way you word things has a dramatic effect on how it is perceived, like “dancing” vs “bust-a-move.”

2. Engaging Her Emotions and Re-affirming Attraction

The most powerful and important element of your first text is engaging her emotions.

The primary goal of your initial texts should be helping her re-experience the feelings of attraction you created when you got her number. You want to continue with whatever you did to make her attracted in the first place…

… and the easiest way to do so is by referencing a topic from your past conversation.

This will cause her to recall her time with you and to feel those same emotions she felt at that point – the very emotions that were the foundation of her attraction to you (and you to her as well).

The last thing you want is to have to start back at Square One and re-build positive emotions in her. Instead, pick up where you left off and you’ll be able to move your relationship along much quicker.

3. Compelling Her to Respond

How do you compel attractive women to consistently respond to your first texts? The same way you get anyone to respond: by asking a question or making a statement that requires more info.

Now here’s the catch: you can’t just pop her any old question or statement… otherwise, Hey what’s up? would be effective. What kind of question do you ask? Simply take a basic question and re-word it so it becomes fun and playful.

Example:

What’s up? becomes What kind of mischief are you causing today?

Here’s another example that would require additional information: I just figured out what you would be if you were an animal. If she wants to know the answer she has to text you back.

The secret is to make the statement about her personally. Nothing makes a person more curious than what someone else thinks about them.

What an Effective First Text Looks Like

Imagine that during your conversation she told you how she used to always go to the zoo to see the penguins. She was obsessed with them and went to bed every night until she was twelve with her stuffed penguin, Chilly Willy.

When it comes time to text her, you can now draw from that story to not only show that you listened (good job), but more importantly, to evoke all those emotions again.

Next you compel her to respond by adding a question or statement that requires more information.

You then set a fun and playful tone not only by the way you word your text, but by adding in things like nicknames, role-playing, teasing, etc.

If you put it all together it would look something like this:

Hey my little penguin princess, what kind of mischief are you causing today!?

Or

Hey my little penguin princess, I just realized which celebrity you remind me of.. crazy crazy

As brief and silly as these messages seem, they accomplish a lot:

• They cause her to recall the positive feelings she had when sharing that story with you, re-affirming her attraction to you.
• They also demonstrate that you are not like every other guy and compel her to respond in a playful way.

This puts her guard down and sets the tone for a successful interaction. The first example even lets you know what her plans are for the day… and you can then use this information to move the conversation forward and perhaps even plan a meet up. Not bad for a few lines of text.

As you begin using this system, you should know that while the exact words you use are pretty important, the main thing to worry about right now is following the 3 principles I just laid out (and I KNOW they work because I’ve been using them successfully myself for quite some time now).

And that’s part of the beauty of it: you no longer need to stress over what to say.

Next time you get a number, you just need to remember these 3 principles as you recall the interaction and you’ll naturally know how to follow up with her.

It’s OK if it feels weird the first time you try it — it’s something new. But remember, if you aren’t happy with the results you’re getting right now, the only way to change that is to change what you’re doing.

So give it a shot and allow yourself the opportunity to see what happens. What’s the worst that could happen? What’s the *best* that could happen?

I’ll finish with one last note: if you are still following a 3-day or any other kind of rule about how long to wait until you send the first text, cut it out already!

The feeling of attraction is fleeting, so you have to strike while the iron is hot.

Don’t give her time for the memory of you to fade away… or, even worse, get replaced by another guy. You should almost always text a girl within hours of getting her number, and never later than the next day.

And if you want to learn even more texting strategies, you can get my new guide right here totally free. You’ll get a thorough, step-by-step system for consistently turning phone numbers into awesome dates. And if you’re like most guys, it will start giving you results tonight already. Check it out here.

How to Get a Girlfriend with the OSS

Join us for a webinar on February 15th @ 7pm EST

In honor of Valentine’s Day – my favorite holiday for being single – I will be hosting a very special webinar for a select few members of my following.  I have already emailed this invitation to the hundreds of people on my list, but unfortunately GoToWebinar only allows a small amount of people on my webinars.  Please make sure to sign up immediately before all the spaces fill up – I will NOT be recording this.

I will be covering some of my newest and most powerful strategies.  I will cover such topics as -

1.  building your confidence

2. building instant rapport

3. Architecture – this is something I have NEVER taught outside of a few select 1on1 students but it’s one of the most powerful tools in my dating arsenal

4. I will be teaching about my new Society and it’s going to blow your mind

Get ready for a once in a lifetime event with the legendary LondonPaladin.

.

.*

*photo by Austin Anthony

One of the hardest things for new guys to figure out is exactly where they fit into the hierarchy of the venues they go to.

I was out with some new guys in Nashville last night and I saw this happening for them.  As I woke up this morning in bed with two girls who were both several inches taller as well as stronger than me, former natioanal athletes, I decided I would share a little bit about how to get there.

When you are in high school and college too, it feels like there is a social order everywhere you go.  You could probably line up the kids in your grade from coolest to least cool with little trouble.  And most of the other students would probably come up with a pretty similar list if they were being honest with themselves.  Inside your head you probably have a sense of how cool you are on a scale from 1-10.  i would like you to think about that right now.  When you go to a bar or club, you probably try to assess everyone in relation to you.  So if you feel like a 4.  You assume that 60% of the people are cooler than you.

This feeling can occur in different ways.  Maybe you just assume that 60% of the people know each other.  Maybe you think that that many of the people are in relationships etc.  But it kind of becomes your barrier to succcess.  As you’re interacting with women, this can be in the back of your mind.  As soon as you learn a few cool pickup lines and go to try them out, you are basically throwing something new out there and waiting to see what happens.  In your heart you are hoping that your rank instantly changes.

You can become so interested in the trees that you don’t even realize that there is a forest.

The truth is that your not in high school anymore and that social hierarchies are an artificial construct.  Now I know I’m using some big boy words here and I apologize for that.  What I mean is that your social rank in a group is imaginary.  It only exists if everyone agrees to believe in it.  It is like the story of the Emperor’s New Clothes.  He is dressed until 1 person breaks the group mindset.  It only takes 1 person.  If you refuse to accept letting other people tell you how cool you are etc, then you break the entire system.

You get to determine how cool you are!

Coolness is actually a factor of self-confidence and how you project that self confidence.  So start assuming you are the coolest person.  If you act like you are 10 on the cool scale you will become that 10.  You can bend reality if you believe in yourself enough.  Last night the guys I was with made me change bars like 7 times.  Each new bar I would have it going on with a new girl and people were loving me.

Now you are probably thinking that’s because I have killer game.  But that’s only HALF of it.  The more important factor is that I BELIEVE I have killer game.  By believing in myself I create myself.  So when I walk into bars like a celebrity people are absorbed into my reality.

I walked into 8 or 9 bars last night and I was only carded at 1 of them.  The bar the 2 girls bounced me to at the end of the night.  Everyone else got carded everywhere we went.  If you walk in with authority instead of submitting to the lame ID Line – people react to it accordingly.  No one who’s not 21 has that kind of confidence.

So you can become the eye of the storm in any bar or club you go to.  Just move reality with you.  Act the way you think a cool person should act until you actually become one with the idea that you ARE cool.  I mean you read this blog, that is a clear sign that your awesome in my book.!

The 5 Types of Pick Up Lines.

5. The Direct Approach

This is the most powerful but also the most risky of these pick up lines.  It’s the equivalent of going all-in when you’re playing poker.  The important thing with this opener is that you need to have zero hesitation.  The moment you feel that kick in your chest you have to act.  You see a beautiful woman and you act on your emotions.  That’s the type of man who uses this approach.  You walk up to her and say the following:

“You’re so beautiful, if I didn’t come and say something I would be kicking myself all day.”

It seems simple but that’s the point.  This is the sniper of conversation starters.  You can modify the sentence based on your personality, but the structure is important.  She is beautiful.  You had to act.  You acted because that’s the kind of person you are.  NOT because you care about her reaction.   This distinction is very powerful.

4.  The Extremely Indirect Approach

This is the opposite approach to the direct approach.  With this pua opener you say something so far from a pickup line, that she will say something to you.  This is the most low reward of all possible conversation starters.  Most likely she will answer your question and simply walk away.  You transmit no information to her.  She has no idea that you might be interested or interesting.  Yet this is one of the most common approaches I see guys do in club after club.  This involves such lines as :

“What time does this club close?”  “Do you know any other cool bars around here?”  “Where is the bathroom?”  “What time is it?”

You have to say something AMAZING for your second sentence to make up for the weakness of this conversation starter.  It’s only a pickup line in the loosest sense of the word.  You might as well try something a little bit stronger like the next one.

3.  The Indirect Approach

This approach is very popular among pickup artists and guys new to the dating scene.  When used properly it is extremely popular.  It is the bread and butter of mystery method and many other similar styles of pickup.  The idea here is to say something that it’s so intriguing that it takes her attention away from the fact that your a stranger and instead makes her and her friends focus on the question you ask.  So the test for if a question is a good indirect opener is if girls pay more attention to that then the fact that you are a stranger.

Here are some examples of indirect openers (pick up lines) that I have used successfully more than 1,000 times each.

“Who lies more, cats or dogs?’

“If you thought your boyfriend was cheating, would you check his email?”

“If you thought your boyfriend was cheating, would you check his phone?”

The last two are very similar and the truth is that they are all you will need.  I have taught those two lines to hundreds of guys in different countries and they ALWAYS work.  They are super interesting and women love to talk about relationships.  If you only memorize one pickup line, choose one of these two.  You will spark some amazing conversations instantly.

2. The Situational Approach

Now we are talking about something extremely powerful, simply because it cannot be memorized.  The power of this approach is that you are reacting to your environment.  You have to be quick on your feet to think of something good to say.  I will give you some powerful examples here so that you can see how they work.  This is a more advanced type of pua opener, but if you can learn to think this way you will really change your life.

“Wow, this bar is really crowded”

“I love how everyone here looks exactly the same.”

If a girl sneezes – “Do you have bird flu?”

This type of opener is complex because it has to fit the situation.  The idea is to make it super casual and not serious.  Here you are just getting the first sentence out of the way and you are off to the races.  Each situation will be different so you want to build up to this approach.

1.  The Neutral Opener

This type of pua opener is powerful AND easy.  Which makes me think you are going to love it.  These are situational openers that you can pretty much use all the time. The don’t transmit interest of disinterest, which means you have a nice neutral footing to start from.  90% of women will react positively to these and you get to find out how she treats strangers within 5 seconds of talking to her.

The easiest place to start your conversations is at the bar.  I always line up behind women at the bar.  What’s the point in standing behind a bunch of guys?  You’re just wasting your time.  Once your behind some women, you want to say something that you would just as easily say to a man.

“Are you guys in line?”

“Are you guys ordering together?”

“I love how they have 2 bartenders for 500 thirsty people.”

These are all really simple statements but they will get you well on your way to a nice conversation.

Final Thoughts on Pick Up Lines

They don’t have to be hard or complex.  Starting a conversation is only a big deal if you make it a big deal.  What you really want to do is just relax and let your pua openers flow.  As soon as that happens, conversations will come easily and often.  As you know starting the conversation is just the beginning.

I hope you enjoyed these powerful pick up lines.  And guys please let me know what you thought of this post by leaving a comment or question below.  I really do love your feedback and it helps me get better at what I do – Teaching you Pick Up Lines.

The Best Pickup Artists in the World

There are tons of "gurus" out there espousing to be pickup artists, puas, don juans, masters of seduction etc.  I am fortunate enough to have met a TON of these guys.  I have met and seen in field BOTH of this years #1 pickup artists.  Actually there are three "official" top ten pickup artist lists out there and I have been in the club talking to ladies with all three of these guys.

Fortunately all three of them are actually really good with women. 

But there are a TON of shysters out there.  If you guys were reading my posts about a year ago when I was in Vegas, I met a TON of fake coaches.  These guys were taking thousands of dollars from unsuspecting students and felt nothing bad about it.  To me this is both shocking and unacceptable.  Everytime I meet a guy who teaches dating, pickup or whatever fancy name they want to give it, I say the same thing – show me.

I have to see it in action to believe it.  I have been on the receiving end of this dozens of times.  I have had students give me all sorts of challenges.  Usually, it's something I have never done before.  But if I'm on the clock, then I always do it.  I think it's important to practice what you preach. 

But what do you do if you can't see these guys in person?

Right now only a small number of guys even use their real images, let alone video.  I try to post majority real pictures.  Of course protecting the privacy of the women I meet is important, so I do try to balance that out.  It's important for you guys to see that I'm a real person.  The more you believe me, the more you will trust me and try what I tell you. 

But let's say you are reading an ebook but one of the hundreds of dating ebook authors, and I hope it's by one of the dozens that actually knows what he's talking about.  How can you know what will work and what doesn't?

Be a Scientist

You should see learning dating as both an art and a science.  I really think of it as a craft.  Because there is a lot to it.  Just like making pottery has the facts – the temperatures at which clay dries and hardens, how long before a kiln overheats an object etc, it also has an art to it – making the piece both beautiful and functional.  Being a pickup artist is about knowing the odds and also about reacting to the situation. 

The best way to learn what works and what doens't is to test, test and test! 

Don't just blindly follow whichever guru you currently support.  Whether it's your favorite big name pickup artist or just your favorite poster on a forum, you need to try it for yourself.

The reason I got so good at pickup and teaching it so fast, is that I will try ANYTHING.  I am always looking for new techniques.  And the experimenting never stops.  Even the best guys in the world are constantly changing and adapting their game.  Everyone is always looking to improve themselves.

If you have seen a lot of my pictures, you may have noticed that lately I rock a beard constantly.  It all started almost 2 years ago when my roomate in London, Ghost, told me I look better with a beard.  I hadn't shaved in 3 days, so I just kept not shaving.  Today is the last day of November.  So I shaved my beard off.  It felt so weird.  But I'm curious to see how people react differently.

I have gamed with a dozen haircuts, from 50s rocker to my current diagonal mohawk.  For my next look I am going to model the lead singer of Tokio Hotel.  I love that huge badass do.  And I will see how the women react to it.

It's like Karate

When I was in high school I studied Tae Kwon Do.  I learned everything there is to know about kicking.  The first time I lived in Japan I studied karate.  I realized I knew nothing about punching.  At my school they broke the punch down into dozens of tiny steps.  All of them are important and can totally change how hard you hit.

You should definitely start off with just one style of pickup.  Don't read fifty ebooks.  It's too much information.  But once you have your base style down, then you can start trying and testing new things.

My game right now is about 90% different from what it was a year ago.  I have changed where I live, how old I am, my career, my hairstyle etc.  As I change my game should change.

You are not me.  I am one of a kind.  So are you.  You are older or younger, shorter or taller, skinnier or fatter.  So your game should reflect your individuality.  Try lots of things and see what happens.  As long as you treat it as an experiment you can separate it from your emotions.  It's ok to completely change it up and it's also ok to go back to something that worked better.

Don't be a Keyboard Jockey

99% of guys in pickup never succeed.  They spend their lives on forums and reading what other guys have tried.  They then regurgitate this same information to new guys who don't know any better. 

When I started in pickup I tried a LOT of things I read on free forums.  I quickly discovered that you get what you pay for.  I tried experiment after experiment and I couldn't replicate their results.  The first thing field testing taught me to do was spend very little time on forums.  You learn it all out in the field.

Who reads a book about swimming and then jumps off a boat into the ocean.  Knowing information in your head is not the same as knowing it works in your heart.

So please take everything with a grain of salt.  Even the stuff I teach. Because just because it works for me doesn't mean it works for you.  And if it does work for you, then that's even better.

What is Social Proof?

Social proof is based on how our minds work.  If we see a group of people we look for similarities.  Our brains are always looking for short cuts.  If you see a guy standing with 20 scientists in lab coats, you will assume he is a scientist.

We really hone this way of thinking in high school, where we really began to lump people into groups.  Depending on when you went to high school you probably had jocks, nerds, cheerleaders, theater kids, goth kids – maybe now you have emo kids or punks.  If you dress like you fit with a group, people outside that group will think you are a part of it.  They judge you based on your associations.

How Can You Use Social Proof?

It’s all about perception.  It’s not about reality.  The first change you should make, especially if you are a beginner at learning to meet women, is that when you get rejected you should walk away with your head held high.  Most guys walk away like a dog that’s just been hit with a newspaper.  Tail between it’s legs.  So the whole room can see how dejected they feel.  This sends the wrong social message to everyone who’s looking.

Nobody actually knows what he said to her and what she said to him.  They are just filling in the gaps based on body language.  So if you walk away like the conversation went really well and you have a big smile on your face, you can absorb some of her social status in the minds of the masses.  People will assume it went well based on your body language.  Let them.

Another great way to build social proof is to just talk to everyone in the bar or club like you have known them for ages.  Then when you start talking to the girls you are interested in, they will think you already know everyone.  If you seem like the popular guy, she will treat you like the popular guy.

I like to show up at a club with several girls, so that I look like I already have some good action going on.  Most girls only care if you are with girls, not how beautiful they are.  You can actually climb a social proof ladder in a single night.  If you are doing really well with a 3, it’s easy to turn and start talking to a 4.  In just 7 conversations you can have serious attraction with a 10.  She just saw you talking to a 9, which means you are in the same league.

Online Game

I’m not as obsessed with social proofing my facebook page or my myspace as I used to be.  I have tons of pics of me with hot girls all over the place and it certainly impresses other guys.  But I just don’t like to use facebook as a segway into real dating.  If I met a girl on the streets I get her phone number not her facebook.  It is coming up more right now because I’m in Hawaii and half of the sets are girls on vacation.

I can tell you that it’s a great way to make guys respect you more.  Let’s be honest.  The picture at the top of this post looks badass and it makes me look badass.  What’s cooler than having a smoking hot chick advertising how awesome you are?

Remember Social Proof is about perception – not reality.  What was your first thought when you saw that picture?  Did you think it’s my girlfriend? Is it just a girl I met on facebook?  A girl I slept with once?  My cousin? A model I paid to take the picture?

Think about your first reaction to that image.  Unless you are a total dick, you had a positive reaction.  You probably thought damn, that is badass, I’m gonna read this post.  So if social proof can work on you, then it will work on the girls you like.

You can create a powerful online image by posting tons of pictures of you looking awesome and with girls you only talked to for 5 minutes in the club.  There is nothing wrong with that.  You can also email a ton of girls you don’t know and ask them to write sexy posts on your facebook wall to make you look cool.  Tell them you are trying to make your ex jealous.  A few girls will write you lame emails about girl power and a bunch will think it’s funny and write cool stuff on your wall.

Bend Reality

I’m going to be teaching a lot of super advanced material on my new training course which I will be launching shortly, but I want to give you a taste of what is possible.  You can create social proof even when there is no one around.  It’s about acting like the person you want to be.

When I tell stories to a girl, I tell them from the perspective I want her to see.  I was with a girl on Saturday, skinny dipping in the pool, and I wanted her to feel massive attraction towards me and to see me as a sexual being.  I may write a field report and go into a ton of detail, I haven’t decided yet.  But the key element is that I acted like a person with sex in their life.  I don’t shy away from mentioning that I have women in my life.  I just act like it’s reality.  And she reacts to it.

I will expand a lot more on how to bend reality later, as it’s the future of game in my opinion and will skyrocket anyone to the next level.

Recently someone was asking my how I feel about qualification.  In the past I have talked about how I think this phase is uneccessary.  And I want to delve a little deeper into that today.

I think asking inane questions you don’t care about just to make a girl jump through hoops and build compliance is lame.  “Can you cook?” is the worst question ever.

Let’s get the the meat of the topic.

There are two ways of getting from attraction to seduction and both of them work great, it just depends on what you really want.  I mostly turn club sets into one night stands and I find my more girlfriendy situations in different places.  So my game is calibrated to this.  If you want a short term relationship with a lot of heat then you want to escalate like crazy.  If you want day 2s and 3s then you want to build a real connection.

So what is qualification?

It’s finding out if she has what you are looking for in a person.  When your game gets very advanced qualification becomes a part of your complete set.  I often disqualify girls within the first 30 seconds.  I can open a girl and find out if I like her that quickly.  I don’t like girls that play games or like to be mean to strangers.  I consider this a terrible quality so if my opener doesn’t hook right or the girl says something lame, instead of feeling a rejection I just feel my attraction plummet and she stops existing for me.  My universe revolves around me, so being rejected by someone I’m not attracted to just doesn’t matter.  Who cares if a jerk doesn’t like them.

So you need to sit down and really think about what qualities are important to you and what qualities you don’t care about.  Maybe you care about punctuality or maybe you don’t.  But the sooner you are honest with yourself the better.

I like girls that are intelligent, cool, dynamic, funny and have a worldy mindset.  I don’t want to date girls that hate travel, are dumb or just don’t seem cool.  I don’t want to be with a girl who doesn’t fit into my lifestyle or will have a problem with the fact that all of my friends are creepy pickup artists.

So I ask questions to find out exactly what makes a girl awesome.

1.  What’s your story.

2.  What do you love to do?

3.  If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?  Why?

These are pretty much the questions that I ask everyone I meet.  I screen men just as much as I screen women.  I like people that have many dimensions to them and like a lot of cool things.  Just having one or two things in common isn’t enough.

I am spending the month in Hawaii and I am planning on moving her full time if this works out in the new year.  So I am trying to meet as many guys and girls as possible right now.  I am looking for people that I like chilling with and I’m trying to assemble my new crew.  It’s just how I live.

I have already met about 40 dudes through pickup.  That’s more than I can sarge with on a steady basis.  You can really only have a circle of 5-12 friends in my opinion that you really see enough to stay close with.  So when I meet everyone I ask them the same questions I ask girls.  I wanna see who I like hanging with in between talking to girls.

So when you go out please take the time to build that connection and ask some deep questions.  Being real is the most powerful form of game.