The Story of my Oneitis

I fell in love with a stunning girl when I was living in Japan.  We were best friends and spent 6 days a week together.  She had a long distance relationship with a guy who I can only describe as one of he great losers of our generation.  He was an “actor” who had a single line in a video game that tanked.  He once told her that he would be happy if he was homeless but he only worked because he knew how greedy she was.

I was so weak that I couldn’t compete with this guy.  Imagine that.

We hung out all the time and I did EVERYTHING for her.  I paid for everything.  Took her out all the time.  Cooked all the time.

After six months we finally smashed on Valentine’s day.  It was cool.  Of course she made me promise to keep it a secret.  So everyone around us continued to think of me as a loser who was in love with his best friend and getting nowhere.  But in reality I was a loser who was in love with his best friend who was getting laid about once a month.  I had a bad case of oneitis.  There is no other way to say it.

I have so many vidoes and pictures of us hanging out all the time.  Over 5,000 pictures.  That’s right.  So believe me I know what it’s like to be at the other end of the spectrum.  In one of my videos I straight up ask my oneitis if she is banging a certain dude.  She tells me no.  I have it on tape.  How intense is that.  Wait and see!

One day she tells me she is starting to have feelings for this dude.  I totally freak out because I am so emotionally invested in her.  I am like you guys hang out sometimes, is there more going on?  Again she says no.  He lives so far away sometimes I drive her to chill at his for an afternoon.  Since she just has some feelings I guess it’s no big deal.  I mean I threw a tantrum like a baby.  I can’t lie to you.  I was such a bitch.  I think I threw her out of my apartment.

A few days later I call her and her phone picks up.  I hear a familiar sound.  I can’t hang up.  For 11 minutes I listen to her smash this other dude.

Turns out that she had been smashing him for a while.  Even now I’m 100% sure I don’t know the real truth.  Was she banging him the first time I asked months earlier and she said no?  No  way to know.

She broke up with her long distance boyfriend for this dude.  She was supposed to move back to America but she was willing to stay in Japan for this dude.  He told her not to bother.  One day he came up to me while she was out of town and wanted to be friends.  He talked about how she was a liar and a slut and we should be friends.  This chick was my best friend dudes.

This was almost 5 years ago and I am getting emotional writing about this right now.

I of course told her went down and she made me promise not to fight the guy for hating on her.  This between me and her were so strange.  She was back in my small village for a week before leaving Japan forever and we spent the week banging like champions.  In bed we are electric together.

The truth is that I can only tell you less than 1% of the story  here as it’s so convoluted and detailed.  I will tell you that that low point was when I told her “It doesn’t matter who you bang, I will always love you.”

If you aren’t cringing right now, I’m not sure you have been reading my blog enough!

The Inspiration for Change

I stayed in Japan another year.  The ghosts of her were everywhere though.  So when my time was up I couldn’t live in America.  I couldn’t be in the same country as her.  That’s how deep it was dudes.  I would love to pretend that I’ve always been a Jedi Pickup Artist but it ain’t true.  I am a creation of my own will.

I decided to move to London.  I of course couldn’t resist and spend a weekend in New York City with my best friend and met up with her for an afternoon.  If you ever read my posts where I am brutal to guys who are in love with their best friends it’s because of this day.  She already had a new boyfriend.  She’s one of those girls who’s perpetually in a relationship.  She can’t be alone.

I was so weak and I almost cried a ton.  I was the most beta guy on the planet that day.  I wish some other dude had come and kicked me out of orbit.

So I moved to London and I was so brokenhearted.  Distance did help and I finally stopped emailing her all the time.  Six months later I read The Game by Neil Strauss.  I read it in a single day.  It blew my mind.  If you ever wonder why I became such a legendary pickup artist so fast.  My pain was the fuel and this book was the engine.

That night was Christmas Eve and I was talking to her on the phone.  She mentioned how the dude might be moving to New York and he’d been by her apartment.  I realized in that moment what I was.  I was a worm.  I had created my own destiny.  But I was still a worm.  She hadn’t invited me to her apartment when I was visiting.

So I cut off all communications with her for years.  I focused on becoming the man I always dreamed of.  And the truth is she probably didn’t even notice that I wasn’t emailing her.  Was I cured?

Phase Three: Can You Get Your Oneitis Back?

This is a real truth about guys who read books and articles and blogs about meeting women.  And there is a 90% chance that it directly relates to you as you are reading this right now.  And most guys I know who are really big dating coaches will deny it to their graves.  But really most of us had the plan to become master pickup artists and then go back and make our Oneitis fall back in love with us.  I was just talking to Rob Judge about this the other week.  Might be why this topic is on my mind.

So a few months ago I was in Hawaii living my dreams and my oneitis popped onto skype.  It was so weird.  I hadn’t seen her online in like 3 years.  Within 30 minutes we were on the phone talking dirty as hell and I was badgering the witness.  I admit it.  She still really knows how to fire up my motor in a major way.

Turns out she just moved in with her new boyfriend but she was coming to Hawaii a few weeks after I was leaving.  She asked me to stay around and see her.  I could have.  But we definitely would have banged and I didn’t want to ruin another one of her relationships.  Even after all this time I still want the best for her.

We have been texting on and off for the last few months.  I’m going to be in New York very soon for a speaking engagement and so I was planning on seeing her and who knows.  She already broke up with that boyfriend.  So this was the first time we were ever talking when she was single.

I don’t want to go into too much detail since this all happened in the last few months and it’s recent history etc.  But the things I’ve learned is that people really don’t change.  She is 100% the same girl I knew 5 years ago.  She still plays the same games.  She still has the same issues.  She still knows how to break my heart without feeling anything.

Now I have changed a LOT since the last go round.  This time I was texting her while texting a hot lesbian in Nashville AND a hot lesbian in DC.  So the power dynamic has changed.  The games don’t hurt me.

The main reason I even put up with this is that at my heart I am a scientist and I love to see how experiements play out so I can report back to all you guys.  And my conclusion is this dudes.  Don’t go back.  You need to only look forward.  As much history as I have with this girl it just ain’t worth it.

But I can tell you write now that she will email or text or skype me sometime in the next few months.  And I will be tempted.  But I know my brothers will stop me from poisoning myself.

So please.  Try to stay cured of Oneitis.

There is nothing quite like a woman scorned.  The irony is that i didn’t scorn anyone.  As I wrote a while back my ex girlfriend broke up with me about 2 months after we had already broken up.  I tried to explain my inability to have a long distance relationship and I guess I just wasn’t clear.  I don’t know how that happened.  But later she read about it on my blog and was somehow totally surprised.  She knew about it from when we were dating, so I didn’t think anything was a surprise.

I don’t even have any posts about our relationship on here.  I originally wrote a post about our first night together, but I took it down when I realized that I was having real feelings for her.  But I guess that’s neither here nor there.

After breaking up with me in a vicious email which ended in her calling me a pervert, she a week later let me have it on im.  I really wish I could feel sad about the loss of our relationship, but for me it was already over.  It ended when we broke up the first time.  She sent me one final email asking me to delete the host of naked pictures of her I have.  I don’t really look at them anymore, but come on.

A week after that she started telling lies about me at my old job.  She told them that we started dating while I was working there, which simply wasn’t true.  I asked her out after my last day there.  It was exactly why I decided to go for it.

Two weeks ago I come into work just like any other normal day and boom.  My boss rolls in with a lady from hr.  They start throwing out some really messed up accusations at me.  It was a real treat.  They sent me home for a week of paid leave.  While they “investigated.”  They never actually talked to me about anything.  The hr lady said she would let me have a background check to prove my innocence.  But of course she never sent me the link to fill it out.

Later in the week I received an email accusing me of being inappropriate at my current job.  Again no explanation was given of the charges.  They finally called me in over a week later.  Like I can’t smell a bushwacking.  I had already chatted to my lawyers and knew they were being totally unprofessional in their technique.  But hey, I was already starting to hate the job.

So I finally met the head of my department.  They decided to fire me for me blog.  As you know this blog doesn’t have my real name on it.  In the meeting the HR lady lied and said that’s how they knew about it.  They claimed that the other investigations were just a coincidence.  AKA I was innocent but they just wanted a reason to fire me.  The HR lady said I chose not to accept the background check and when I asked her why she didn’t send it to me, she admitted that she knew I hadn’t received it.

Overall, it was a boring experience.  I thought getting fired would be an emotional experience, but really my life is already moving forward.  I am mostly just sharing because let’s be honest it’s a good story.  I might start writing more about my experience and talking about where I actually worked later on.  For now I have no heart for vengeance.  I just don’t care.

So my ex girlfriend got me fired from my job.  In the end the reason they gave was that I am doing “work of a sexual nature.”  I make no apologies for the life I live.  I tried to keep my work and private life separate but hey I guess those days are over.

And yes.  I still have a stack of pics of my ex girlfriend.  Will I post them on the internet?  Right now I can’t be bothered.  It’s just a shame that she misunderstood me and decided to try and mess with my life in a major way.  I didn’t even sleep with any other girls in between when I thought we broke up and when she did.

So last week I got a really long breakup email from my x in London.  I really thought I was clear that long distance stuff doesn’t work for me, but obviously I wasn’t.  So when she read my feelings on here, she got really hurt and broke up with me.  I wish I could say that I felt really bad when she dumped me.  But I kinda felt nothing.  It’s hard for me to have deep long distance emotions.

For me love is a face to face kinda thing.  I mean I really did love her and I’m sad that she’s hurt.  But I guess we weren’t meant for each other.  I hope she fins what she’s looking for.

As always I try to be super honest here about what I’m going through and what is happening.

Maybe my next relationship will work out better.  I’ve already met a few cool girls in this town and I’ll write about that later.

So for the past month I have had a girlfriend.  I was so into her that I stopped writing posts about my dating life.  It’s weird how I can care about someone enough to respect their privacy.  When I basically live without any myself.

I have been back in my hometown for a week now.  I’m a little hesitant to say where I am, because I have some internet stalkers on a few weird forums who have been talking about my family etc.  So for now I’ll let you guys figure it out.

Anyways I think about my x like every day.  It’s really strange because technically we are broken up.  But in my heart I just miss her so bad.  Now at least I know that I am capable of loving someone.  The thought of eternal monogamy is pretty terrifying though.  But I guess I’ll figure it out.  Just not quite yet….

I went out for my 3rd date with the German photographer on Friday.  Now logistics kept us from sleeping together on the first two dates, but 3 is as far as I’ll go with a girl without some sweet loving.  We planned our Friday date almost 2 weeks in advance.  This girl is always so busy with art projects and school.

Thursday night she texts to say that she has to go home at 11.  I’m like why are you changing the plan the day before.  I consider cutting her loose for being so lame.  She is complaining about the last train etc.  I tell her she can just crash at mine as my house mate’s away and she starts freaking out.  There are tons of signs that I should have cancelled the date I know….

After a text argument, kind of, we just stick with the original plan.  She was talking about going out another night or something.  I mean it was all just so lame.  So we meet at like 6 or something on Friday.  I’m thirty minutes late and I just don’t care.  I guess it’s good because I wanted to start showing up to things late this year to see if I could do it.  She’s already drunk so I have a shot and a drink with her.  We are chatting and it’s ok.  She just talks about work and how stressed she is constantly.

I am kinda tired from the lesbian sleep over, so I don’t steer the conversation away from her boringass topics as much as I should. After a while she wants to grab dinner somewhere.  I never do dinner dates.  I also never do Friday dates.  Whoops.  We start looking for a Japanese place.  I’m thinking traditional Japanese place, where we can snuggle into a corner.  She drags us into a place that is exactly like wagamama.  I tell her it’s a terrible date restaurant.  She ignores me and says she wants to eat there. I don’t care enough to resist.

I wish I could say that I was bringing my A game, but I was barely there.  I was thinking about how she just isn’t pretty enough for me and I can’t believe she keeps rocking similar outfits when we go out.  She has these giant red feather earings she keeps wearing.  They are so attention grabbing that she shouldn’t wear them on all our dates.  I mean change clothes.  I am drifting through our date, kinda wanting to have some sex but not willing to work for it on any level.

All during dinner she is yapping about work and I keep trying to cut the thread but she is like a cat with a ball of yarn.  She keeps wanting to talk about boring and stressful things.  This is really sexy for a girl to do, let me tell you.  At one point she says  she knows she should be having a good time, but she is stressed and can’t take her mind off what she has to do Saturday morning.  I’m like baby, you are at dinner with a really cool, good looking guy.  Why don’t you focus on that and have a good time?  She says she’ll try but in our hearts we both know she’s lying.

After dinner we both go to the bathroom.  Separately you perverts.  I think about just leaving.  I’m so bored.  When she comes out front she starts trying to give me the brush off.  It takes 5 minutes for me to realize she wants to end the date.  She is talking about a lack of vibe or something.  I thought about giving her a debrief on how she ruined out date and is too dumb to realize it.  I wanted to tell her that our date sucked because she never stopped complaining about work, took us to a bad restaraunt and was poorly dressed and also she had established a curfew up front to put more pressure on us.  But I didn’t say anything.  All I thought was, I don’t feel anything.  I am becoming an emotional terminator.

So five minutes later I met up with my lesbian gang around the corner and then I was chilling with a really tall beautiful swiss girl. It was a nice night, but I was too tired to release the energy necessary to capture her.  So I went home early.

So I have been seeing a Welsh girl for a few weeks.  Think I’ve mentioned her a few times.  She doesn’t kiss til the 3rd date.  After our 2nd date she stopped returning my texts.  It took me a full week to notice.  So I sent her a message asking if she’d stopped returning my texts.  I didn’t feel anything.

A few years ago I would have stressed over every single unreturned text.  Now I send out a couple hundred messages a week to girls and mates, so one can slip through the cracks.  It takes me a long time to notice if someone is actively trying to pull away.

No idea why it ended with her.  I wish I could say that I cared, but I’m already on to the next girl.  It’s kind of a shame how girls become so replaceable after a time.  If I leave my house I meet someone beautiful.  I don’t know if this is a good or a bad thing.  I don’t pursue relationships like I used to.

Things with the Tunisian girl ended a few weeks ago. Unlike most of my relationships it did not end with a bang but a whimper. I wish this was going to be an interesting story but it’s not. Basically, she felt I wasn’t ‘there for her’ enough. She would get upset about her school work and want to bitch at me online about it, so I would stop chatting. I mean really. I don’t want to fall into my old oneitis patterns, do I? The I wasn’t online for one week. I just partied a lot and we didn’t chat. So when I saw her the next week and asked how she was doing, she got mad and said she didn’t believe I cared. It’s pretty amazing that any girl can turn into a psycho for no reason. I mean we weren’t even in any form of relationship and she got needy and annoying. So now you know the end of my adventure. I still need to finish writing the actual tale though.