What is Social Proof?

Social proof is based on how our minds work.  If we see a group of people we look for similarities.  Our brains are always looking for short cuts.  If you see a guy standing with 20 scientists in lab coats, you will assume he is a scientist.

We really hone this way of thinking in high school, where we really began to lump people into groups.  Depending on when you went to high school you probably had jocks, nerds, cheerleaders, theater kids, goth kids – maybe now you have emo kids or punks.  If you dress like you fit with a group, people outside that group will think you are a part of it.  They judge you based on your associations.

How Can You Use Social Proof?

It’s all about perception.  It’s not about reality.  The first change you should make, especially if you are a beginner at learning to meet women, is that when you get rejected you should walk away with your head held high.  Most guys walk away like a dog that’s just been hit with a newspaper.  Tail between it’s legs.  So the whole room can see how dejected they feel.  This sends the wrong social message to everyone who’s looking.

Nobody actually knows what he said to her and what she said to him.  They are just filling in the gaps based on body language.  So if you walk away like the conversation went really well and you have a big smile on your face, you can absorb some of her social status in the minds of the masses.  People will assume it went well based on your body language.  Let them.

Another great way to build social proof is to just talk to everyone in the bar or club like you have known them for ages.  Then when you start talking to the girls you are interested in, they will think you already know everyone.  If you seem like the popular guy, she will treat you like the popular guy.

I like to show up at a club with several girls, so that I look like I already have some good action going on.  Most girls only care if you are with girls, not how beautiful they are.  You can actually climb a social proof ladder in a single night.  If you are doing really well with a 3, it’s easy to turn and start talking to a 4.  In just 7 conversations you can have serious attraction with a 10.  She just saw you talking to a 9, which means you are in the same league.

Online Game

I’m not as obsessed with social proofing my facebook page or my myspace as I used to be.  I have tons of pics of me with hot girls all over the place and it certainly impresses other guys.  But I just don’t like to use facebook as a segway into real dating.  If I met a girl on the streets I get her phone number not her facebook.  It is coming up more right now because I’m in Hawaii and half of the sets are girls on vacation.

I can tell you that it’s a great way to make guys respect you more.  Let’s be honest.  The picture at the top of this post looks badass and it makes me look badass.  What’s cooler than having a smoking hot chick advertising how awesome you are?

Remember Social Proof is about perception – not reality.  What was your first thought when you saw that picture?  Did you think it’s my girlfriend? Is it just a girl I met on facebook?  A girl I slept with once?  My cousin? A model I paid to take the picture?

Think about your first reaction to that image.  Unless you are a total dick, you had a positive reaction.  You probably thought damn, that is badass, I’m gonna read this post.  So if social proof can work on you, then it will work on the girls you like.

You can create a powerful online image by posting tons of pictures of you looking awesome and with girls you only talked to for 5 minutes in the club.  There is nothing wrong with that.  You can also email a ton of girls you don’t know and ask them to write sexy posts on your facebook wall to make you look cool.  Tell them you are trying to make your ex jealous.  A few girls will write you lame emails about girl power and a bunch will think it’s funny and write cool stuff on your wall.

Bend Reality

I’m going to be teaching a lot of super advanced material on my new training course which I will be launching shortly, but I want to give you a taste of what is possible.  You can create social proof even when there is no one around.  It’s about acting like the person you want to be.

When I tell stories to a girl, I tell them from the perspective I want her to see.  I was with a girl on Saturday, skinny dipping in the pool, and I wanted her to feel massive attraction towards me and to see me as a sexual being.  I may write a field report and go into a ton of detail, I haven’t decided yet.  But the key element is that I acted like a person with sex in their life.  I don’t shy away from mentioning that I have women in my life.  I just act like it’s reality.  And she reacts to it.

I will expand a lot more on how to bend reality later, as it’s the future of game in my opinion and will skyrocket anyone to the next level.

First Encounter

So I’m out with my bro in law, well it’s my sister’s boyfriend but it’s super long term, and we hit the bars on Friday night.  I’ll shorten my usual lengthy intro and get to it.  I am just hanging out with him and not working girls but of course I end up talking to a professional sports team cheerleader.  I don’t wanna say which team or too much because I know you sneaks will figure it out….

Her chubby glum roomate is super lame but she doesn’t stop us from talking and doesn’t even force my bro to talk to her.  She lets him sneak off to call my sister.  So I chat to this girl for like an hour or so and she seems awesome.  We start talking about Orbital.  Now if a girl knows about Orbital I instantly like her.  Of course if her body is tight as a drum as well…..I think you get the idea.  She is digging on me super hard so I get the digits.  I can’t just go home with her because I got my bro with me and I am not putting him in that awkward situation.  I know he would just sit in the living room talking to the chubster, but my sis would be wicked mad.  I don’t need family drama.

So me and him slip off.  When I get home she starts blowing up my phone.  I’m so bored.  I have nothing to do.  etc….  She just dumped her boyfriend of a year and a half earlier that day.  She doesn’t say too much but I get the feeling the relationship was tumultuous.  I get a little bit of a Lifetime movie vibe.

She is smoking hot, so I wanna creep on her so bad.  I’m too drunk to drive over to her place and it’s just too complicated a situation.  The next night I’m going out with some new dude from the local lair.  I’m not teaching so I just go out to raise hell.  I know I’m gonna get drunk so I take a taxi to the bar.  The whole way there my cheerleader is blowing me up.  Text text text.  She agrees to meet me at 1am for a date.  I think we all know what that means.

First Date

So I hang out with the dude for a couple of hours, but that’s a sidestory.  She has to go home and change after her part time job.  I’m like I am sure you look fine etc….  I hate waiting.  But it was worth it.  She is wearing the tightest black dress of all time.  You can see everything.  All the guys are scoping her when she walks in and she comes straight up to me.  I get that full LondonPaladin feeling.  Like hell ya I still got it!  You know?  21.  Smoking hot. Cheerleader.  Into me.  It’s allll good.

So we have a couple of beers.  She kinda lets me know that her last boyfriend was super possessive and it was a problem.  I’m like babe I’m the opposite.  A bunch of guys she knows walk up and it’s clear they are orbiters.  Instead of my usual move of Tanking them (from My Best Friends Girl – great movie) I just tell her that I gotta use the bathroom and that they seem like really nice guys.  I disappear for like 20 minutes.  Some gorilla tries to start a fight with me in the toilets but my complete disinterest overwhelms him and he walks off.

I come back and we chill a bit more and then she’s like I guess it’s time to go home.  She asks how I got to the bar.  I let her know I have no car and she offers to give me a ride back to mine.  Ten minutes later we are back at her place.  We end up chilling on her porch and drinking beers for three hours or something.

I never felt that sexual spark.  Usually I just know in my guts when it’s time to go for it.  And I just never felt it.  it’s weird.  I can tell she’s attracted to me and I’m attracted to her, but the physical is just all off.  At 4am or so she tells me it’s time to drive me home.  We are now in her bedroom and I tell her that I hate that moment when we get to my house and it’s awkward and I’m like do I kiss her or do I not kiss her etc.  She is like I just broke up with a long term bad relationship yesterday so I’m not ready to do anything.

I’m a nice guy at heart and by now I have the feeling that things between them were physical and not in the good way.  So I’m not gonna pressure a girl who’s this damaged.

We get back to mine and I start to get out of the car and she’s like what?  I don’t get ANYTHING?  So I go for the kiss immediately and we have a high school style kiss.

I already know at this point that all signs point to crazy and that I should never talk to her again.  You just get that feeling.  Obviously I now can’t resist her.

We have plans to hang out Sunday but she sends me the friends text.  She tells me she is too damaged and needs time away from boys.  Yay!

Warning Signs

So come Friday I’m out at the bar with JohnnyC69 getting my wasted on.  I am friends with a part time model/bartender and she was hooking it up.  I know we did at least 6 or 7 free shots.  So it all got hazy.  At some point she came to meet up with us and I try to ditch Johnny.  Because I am an asshole.

But he comes back and joins us for a few minutes.  I’m hammered so my first thought is “this son of a bitch is creeping on my new toy” but really he was bored of the other girls around us.  He talks to us for ten minutes and he is like dude that girl has the lowest self esteem of all time.  You need to get out of here.  Stay away from her.  My attraction skyrockets because crazy girls know how to bring the noise in bed.

I’m so hammered that I then lose her talking to her friends.  Two underage girls start creeping on me because they think I’m with her.  It’s great.  All I remember is that she left without me and when I realize it and call her she’s gone home. I take a taxi home and consider my epic drinking problem.

Shutter Island

Saturday night at 1am.  8Days since first contact.

She calls me and says she’s bored and wants to see me.  She says all of her friends are out of town and she is lonely.  I am sitting in my room programming so what do you think I would rather do.  Some times I just think with my little brain.

I can’t really describe the course of events after I arrived.  Time lost all meaning in the vortex of insanity so I can only offer you some highlights.  And I promise you that this is at most 30% of the crazy shit she said.  It’s been two weeks and I am really trying to block it all out.

She opens her mail and finds a huge bill from the hospital.  She tears it up and says ‘let’s see those fuckers try and get me to pay when I’m dead.”

She tells me how she met a guy in the hospital with a big red mark on his neck.  He tried to hang himself.

She decided not to date him because “You shouldn’t date people you meet in the asylum.”

That’s right all you HATERS.  I found a girl who was actually in the mental hospital.  So don’t ever tell me you met a crazy girl until you meet a girl who got locked up for it!

She starts saying how she is texting with her ex again.  I instantly know she will get back together.

He is a really good guy.  He just gets super jealous because he is really insecure and doesn’t realize what a great guy he is.

He is almost 30 and basically unemployed but he’s just finding himself.

She isn’t allowed to go out or be near any other guys because he gets really jealous.  He cheated on his last girlfriend a LOT so he knows that it’s easy to cheat.

When he goes out with his friends he turns off his phone and he yells at her.  He needs his own space and privacy.  I point out at this point that he is 100% cheating on her and she explains that no – she is too hot to be cheated on.

She concludes this story by saying that yes he hit her.  But only once.  And it was really her fault for starting it.  And he will never do it again.

At this point she goes from calling him her x to calling him her boyfriend.  That’s right.  That set of stories made her want to get back with him.

She went on about how he’s her first true love and she’s willing to work really hard and just wishes he would work really hard too.  She also mentions that she loves to watch Lifetime movies.  I laugh and tell her she’s living one.

Then things started getting really crazy.

It’s all such a blur I wish I had recorded it.

I finally wanted to leave because I was just so bored after an hour of this.  She blocked the window with her leg.  Yes.  You go in and out through the window.  And is like you can’t leave me right now.  She intimates that she might kill herself if I leave.

I am really turned on be emotional blackmail.

But don’t worry.  It’s all getting better.

She starts telling me about the girl’s she is friends with that I should meet.  Like the one who had a baby last month but put it up for adoption.  Or the girl she got kicked out of high school with.

The whole time I am texting JohnnyC69 telling him what to tell the cops when they find my body in the woods.

The highlight of the evening was at dawn.  I am still trying to leave.  So she fakes appendicitis.

I am not even joking her.  She starts screaming and telling me she has unbelievable pain in her side.  Now I’m freaked out that if I leave she might die.  I do not want that conversation with the cops.  Especially with my fingerprints on the window and shit.

So I keep googling medical stuff on my phone and telling her that it might be an STD.  Some of them have the side effect of insanity.  she says this isn’t possible.  Finally the pain just goes away after 2 hours.  The longest 2 hours of my life.  And I got trapped inside a rollercoaster in Japan.   By myself.  This was worse.

She tells me that she can’t wait to hang out again.  I tell her that I will never see her again.  As I’m leaving I do try to get one last kiss.  I mean come on.  I am still a little bit of a creep.  She explains that our first kiss is the only time she’s ever cheated on her boyfriend and doesn’t want to do it again.  She asks if we can just be friends.

Um.  I don’t need friends that I fear will cut me in my sleep.  But thanks.

What I did wrong

First of all.  Her attraction was diminishing by the moment after our first encounter.  The sexual spark was there that first night and each time after that was less and less.  Why you ask?  Because this girl is bat shit crazy and wants to get back with her ex because he treats her bad.  Which is her fetish.

I needed to go home with her that first night and have that rebound sex and then never talk to her again.

I also ignored all the warning signs.  I actually screen for crazy pretty hard when I meet girls.  Then I ignore my warnings.

That first night at her house I could feel it happening.  I was thinking too much comfort + not enough physical = let’s be best friends!

Now the reason the physical is off is because she is attracted to abusive relationships.  This means that all of her physical signs and signals are off.  I don’t speak that language so I don’t know how to turn her on.  That’s why we ended up with me becoming like an orbiter.

I kept going back after I knew she was crazy.  I basically live for the adventure.  I went over to her house because I knew it would be a great blog post.

Final Thoughts

It’s just not worth it.  I have access to lots of beautiful women.  I need to avoid this type of girl.

Also, I cut out HUGE portions of her terrifying stories.  I didn’t even tell you anything about her mom or her several crazy dads.  So when you see me in person, feel free to ask!

So last night I thought I had students, but they had to bump to next week at the last minute.  So I ended up going out to see Mr M for his final night with the Rockstars.  We were out with Bugsy Malone and Freedom of Speech as well.  They guys took me out to Chinawhite and got a table and everything.  It was really quality.

I got absolutely smashed and met some super hot girls.  There were two really stunning girls who were eyefucking me up all night.  In the end I chatted to each of them.  They were rejecting guys left and right but just loving me.  I was just feeling so electric.  It was just great to be out with the boys and going insane.  By the end of the night both girls told me I was amazing and that they had boyfriends.

Man that is the most boring speech ever.

Then somehow me and Freedom ran away from everyone at Subway and went to the Egg, where they said they didn’t like our clothes and wouldn’t let us in.  All I know is that when I’m in my 50s I don’t wanna be running the face-policy at the dirtiest hole in London.  So I still win.

At the  bus stop alone at 5am some drunk dude starts yelling at me and threatening to stab me in the face.  What is with old people tonight?  I just pretty much ignore the dude but he just keeps yelling.  And then asking for cigarettes or spare change.  Finally my bus pulls up and I just walk away from him.

As I get on the bus I tell one of the people who watched all this and chose not to get involved that it was all her fault.  Ahaha.

Made it home around 6 and I poured myself into bed.

I will try and get my hands on the photos from tonight as soon as I can.  Can’t wait til my big party next Saturday.  Debauchery here I come!!!

I am proud of all of my ex-students, but the one who shines the most is my man October.  He did a single lesson with me and became a machine.  His blog is basically my favorite one to read.  He is having threesomes and skinny dipping parties constantly.  So when he told me he was coming down for the Mehow conference I knew we needed to link up.

On our 1on1 we almost had a spitroast and as I hoped, lightening struck twice.  It’s funny because we both rock beards.  I was helping out on a LoveSystems bootcamp for my man Mr M, so I couldn’t really focus on October til my students were taken care of. He has some really good panache and I was dressed to the 9s, so it was on.  He opened a girl and she loved him but walked off.  I walk by a minute later and eye fuck her big time.  While I’m talking to him she walks up.  They start talking and there is massive sexual tension.  I know enough to keep my mouth shut.  If he is attraction, then I am either comfort or silence.

Once she is amped up (after about 5 minutes) I join the conversation.  Just close talking and Shane Game.  She starts thinking that me and October are a couple and starts throwing that shit test our way.  I just ask her which one of us is hotter.  She can’t decide.  Translation – It is ON like Donkey Kong.  So we do some 3way grinding, with her in the middle you perverts!!!  It was cool and sexy.  I try to isolate her by saying let’s go get a shot.  Now I tried my Orpheus move.  I just walked without looking back and assuming that she was following.  This move only works when it is super on.  It was me and then her and then October.  So I didn’t grab her arm for the isolation.

She says she can’t go away from her friends and we lose her.  It’s not a problem, we will just come back later.  In a bit I am outside with Doc and I just ignore her.  She grabs me and rubs her face on mine and says I am her new best friend to Doc.  It was awesome.  I couldn’t get a kiss outa her though.  It is clear this girl needed to be extracted.  Later on the three of us are trying to leave.  She doesn’t want to leave her friends as it is a girl’s birthday.

We are near the door chatting and trying to amp up her BT (Buying Temperature).  Her friend comes over and yells at her and makes her cry.  GAME OVER.  There is basically nothing to be done at this point.  October left before I did, but he was right.  As soon as a girl cries, flee the set.  That is my advice.

We chilled again the next night, but we were both so tired that nothing came of it.  It’s hard to get energy when you can’t give energy.  Also, I met his man Machine.  That guy is really cool.  Don’t wanna forget that.  I really want to get enough breathing room in my schedule to visit these guys in Cambridge.

So many guys have come to me with this question. It happens to me a lot and I have learned the causes and the solutions, so it’s time to share with you!

Part 1 – Why does she say it?

There are several behaviours that guys develop when they are trying to get better with women that tend to confuse a woman’s gaydar. The first thing that happens is the development of large arm movements ala Jack from “Will and Grace”

The second behaviour is caused by nervousness or a desire to get all of your information out there.  You speak too quickly.  This raises the pitch of your voice.

A high pitched voice and large arm movements = gay.

This is how most women’s gaydar operates.  You think you are being more open and she interprets your sexuality.  You can even tell a girl that you are straight and she will be confused or disbelieve you.

There are other reasons a girl will think you are gay – you are well dressed, articulate, clean and capable of talking comfortably to women.  All of these are the reasons she will tell you if you ask why she thinks you are gay.  But none of these are things you want to change!

Part 2 – Why does it mean?

Think about it for a moment.  At what point do you ask someone their sexual orientation.  If you were talking to a really ugly girl, would you ask?  What about a beauiful woman?

You are much more likely to care if a woman is gay if she is attractive.

A woman will ask you if you are gay at the moment she becomes attracted to you or at the moment she starts to feel a sexual tension.  If she thinks you are gay, then this feeling is incongruent.  It just doesn’t fit.  She is asking herself, “why am I attracted to a gay man?”

Think about the stereotype of a gay man.  Like Jack in the video, he can be flamboyant and loud, but the more common stereotype is that gay men are well dressed, articulate, cultured, intelligent, successful financially and very comfortable talking to women without needing anything from them.

Part 3 – It’s a Positive Sign

How many times have you heard women say, “All the best men are gay or taken!”  Every woman wants a gay best friend.  They always fall in love with these men.  A gay man in your life is the new Prada handbag.

Many guys think that it is the worst thing a woman can say.  It’s not.  I used to fall into this trap.  Thinking I had done something weird or wrong to mis-convey my sexuality.  In actuality it’s one of the best things a woman can say to you.  Many women who ask if I’m gay sleep with me.  The asking is not bad!

If a woman asks if you’re gay it is a sign of attraction.

If you interpret her question as a sign of attraction, you will react more positively.  Don’t freak out.

Part 4 – How Should You React?

You should simply say “No, I’m not gay” and cut the thread.  Do not continue the conversation or get upset in any way.  Simply react with surprise and then move on.

There are tons of jokey lines out there that people recommend.  Don’t waste your time on them.  I tried them all and the best thing you can do is not-react.

You might have been hoping for some magic answer and that is actually what this is.  It simply works.  You can even throw in a sly smile as you realize she is attracted to you.  It is even better if she asks later in the conversation. It means she is responding more to your smoothness and less to an initial impression.

If she says it in the first five minutes then you can fix it with the next step.

Part 5 – How to fix it?

When you are talking, consciously slow down your rate of speech.  Slowing it down actually deepens your voice.

You should also slow down your arm movements.  It is ok to move your arms to express a point, just slow down the arm movements along with the way you speak.

These two tiny tweaks will make you seem more sensual and will actually make you more attractive to women.

(A simple solution to a simple problem)

Finally, you can put pauses into your speach as well.  I really like…..the way…..you talk….

So last night I went out with Ghost to me new local.  It was heaving out and about.  There was some kind of festivale on.  We met up with Virgo, who was out on a date.  All of the people who were supposed to meet up with us ended up backing out.  Oh well. The music was good and the vibe was chill.  No Brotherhood guys were around so I didn’t have to open.  I could just relax.  I helped Virgo look cool by talking uphill to him in front of his girl.  Like all vampires, in the end he made her bleed.  But you’ll have to read his post to see about that…  After a while, I dipped out to avoid spending time with my former, needy couchsurfer.  She is going to be a social circle asset, but not quite yet.  I need a little time you know?

So I bounced bars to meet up with Vercetti, Mr M, Braddock, Crossfire et al.  It was hella crowded and took me ages to get there.  Outside the bar I see Dr. Yen.  I was like wtf?  I thought you left.  I don’t wanna go on a big tangent, but if you have a leaving party, then you need to leave.  Lately, guys have stayed weeks or months longer and had a series of leaving parties.  This is just way to needy.  Stop twisting to see how popular you are.  Just go.  It’s like a funeral.  You grieve and you don’t want the person to show up do you?  I mean isn’t that why we all hate zombies?  So he kept trying to get me to leave my spot in line to come say hi.  I was like it’s not my job to impress your random chick by obeying commands.  I don’t like riding the alpha train.  He could have walked over to me, so I wouldn’t have to lose my spot in line.  So I walked into the club.

It took me ages to find the guys.  Everyone was hella drunk.  I ran super super tight Shane game on this girl and her friend.  Everyone tried to game my target, so I just ratcheted up attraction in the obstacle.  She was cute in my opinion.  I ran my ShaneKiss on her and she just melted and said, how did that happen?  I didn’t even want to kiss you.  I said that’s the power of Shane, but she had no idea what that meant.  I really ratcheted up attraction by being super cool and aloof.

In the end I just said come home with me.  Unfortunately, drunken Braddock creeped out her friend enough to make her leave the club.  So they bounced after she gave me her number and was like maybe I’ll see you this week.  So then I’m there listening to Vercetti hate on the girl.  After he shouted grenade while I was kissing her.  Man, some people’s true colors… So then we are chatting about sets and stuff.  This other American dude was trying to be really alpha and say that he doesn’t need wings or something.  Maybe he knows some of the other guys.  I don’t really know.  He’s one of those guys that puts up his middle finger in group photos.  Basically, the worst kind of American.  So I just ignored him.  There is  nothing worse than people who try really hard to be alpha or tough or whatever.  It just bores me now.

So the girl comes back.  She tells me that her friend thought I looked like a really good guy too.  She is like facebook me tomorrow.  I was like come home with me now.  But she couldn’t because of her friend.  All of the guys I knew in the club had tanked with her already, so nothing doing.  So I was like come over tomorrow night to f me.  She is like you have to write down directions.  Then I got really sexual, but I went too far when I said I could smell how bad she wanted me. So I had to retreat.  Then I got her facebook stuff and she left.

Then I see Mr M and Braddock working some girls.  Braddock grabs me to come with them and the three of us are outside with 2 really cute girls and a fat one.  I wonder which one is for me…. Thanks B!!!  So we go back to Mr M’s, which is like one block away.  And we are chilling in one bedroom together.  I distract the girl a little bit, but she is clearly twice my size.  I am a terrible wrestler.

So then I start working Mr M’s target.  I can smell a spitroast in the air.  I tell a bunch of jokes and wratchet up attraction so fast.  I can tell she is into me.  She keeps telling me that I’m the funniest guy she’s ever met.  I’m in a super alpha Shane state.  So I kiss her on his bed.  She is lying on her back and Braddock has taken his girl upstairs to show her the bathroom.  We are on either side of her and the fat girl is sitting on the computer playing with music and making slight noises of boredom.  This is Paladin’s liver not caring.  So Mr M looks at me with trepidation in his eyes.  He is like sorry dude I can’t do it.  The girl can sense the change in mood and things slipped through my fingers….

She got weird and then drank too much and spent 20 minuted puking out his bathroom.  Eventually we shoved them into a cab.  And sent home drunky mcpukey and chubby mcnofun to their hotel.  The other girl sent them off and then went back inside to finish off Braddock.

Overall it was some of the most fun I’ve had in ages.  We went off in search of a curry, but every shop was closed.  So I went home to find out what time school starts and rack one off.  Turns out I was wrong and school doesn’t start for one more day.  Safe.

Last night 5.0 ordered us out to a bar full of Americans.  They are the bane of my existence.  I brought out Mystel and my housemate Ghost for his first time in the field.  He has never seen me in action.  The bar was full of low-value Americans.  I was really stressed out as soon as I got there, caught between a desire to perform for my housemate and a desire to not hear any screeching American accents.  We grab a coupla drinks and just chill for the first hour while the place fills up.  There is a really scrawny girl behind us in a pair of short shorts that looked like they used to be a shopping bag.  Something was strange.  Needless to say Starlight opens her in a booth.  Eventually Mystel goes in to wing.  I keep signalling Starlight to see if he wants me to manage the big girl for him.  He keeps signalling yes.  I keep pretending not to see.

Finally, I face the inevitable and I open the big girl Shane-style.  She had no chance.  I just run my new routine-less routine stack.  She is enthralled.  I am super honest.  She drops the bf bomb early in the conversation.  It was more of a way to give herself value than to stop my German march.  I mean I clearly wasn’t projecting any interest.  She said she could sort me a DJ gig at her work.  I will find out I guess.  I was far more interested in that than anything else that happened. Eventually everyone else gets blown out.  All the other girls and boys leave.

I stay talking to this girl.  I’m not in set.  Shane doesn’t do sets.  She just talks to whoever she wants to talk to.  So I am doing that.  I am blowing her mind.  She didn’t like Starlight at all.  He kept slapping her ass and pulling up her skirt.  It’s weird to watch my moves from the sidelines.  I was like ya he is high energy sometimes.  She brings in her friend who is cute enough.  I am working both both girls.  Mystel comes in and starts working the big girl.  I run ninja-comfort on the new girl.  She is enthralled.  Our faces are so close and she is doing ninety percent of the talking.  I am building the sexual tension.  Ratcheting.  Ratcheting.  Her face is coming closer.  I can smell her breath.  Then the big friend busts in to get the girl’s phone.  She wants to give both of their number’s to Mystel.  My girl goes to the bathroom never to return.

The big girl starts bringing up how she thinks Starlight is an ass.  Shane doesn’t let people talk about her friends like that.  Neither does Paladin actually.  I said it’s one thing to say you didn’t like his behaviour, but that is my friend so tone it down.  I ain’t gonna stab him in the back.  She then also goes to the eternal bathroom.  I find out then that Mystel had been talking to the same skinny girl when he was winging Starlight earlier.  And somehow big girl decided that he passed her tests and should be with her friend.  She blew us both out.  Weird.

I learned a couple of things.  At one point skinny girl said that lots of people think she’s a lesbian.  I said that lots of girls think I’m gay.  They were like how the hell is that possible?  They said they couldn’t possibly see that.  Apparently, when I base my game on a gay woman, I come off as a straight man.  They also both told me they could tell that I’m a really low key person.  So when I’m in Shane-state, my micro-body language is super tight.  Because I’m actually a super high energy guy.  But that guy rarely gets the girl.

At this point everyone has left except for 5.0, who has a girl on his arm.  He’s trying to avoid me for fear of my saying how much I hate American girls. Ha.  I can’t find any girls with any value anywhere.  They are all acting really low rent.  The guy are all dressed like idiots.  Every girl I meet thinks I’m English, which I consider a massive compliment.  Everyone is pretty rude.  We meet a cool Russian dude with rude friends.  We go on the dancefloor and I want to cry.  Over 100 people dancing.  None of them on beat.  I am amazed that people can make it to adulthood without the ability to count to 4.  But they have.  Everyone is hooking up like mad.  I just want to leave.

Dude.  Even when Indian girls blow you out, at least they are nice about it.   Honestly, rudeness is one of my biggest turnoffs.  Class isn’t about money, it’s about behaviour.

Sheriff was the first instructor I approach coached for, but it was really a bird out of the nest thing.  I never had any official training or instruction in the art.  I just kind of fell into it.  I guess with five years of professional teaching experience and a moderate skill level with women, Sheriff knew I could figure it out.

Last night we really went through the fundamentals of the process.  He broke down different elements of the process and really helped me get to the next level.  He covered how to deal with different types of students and different challenges we might face in the field.  I really want to make instructing a part of my life, so this was really great.  I can’t wait to put everything he taught us into practice tonight at our Rockstar Gives Back bootcamp.

Starlight picked all of the students, so I really have no idea what they will be like.  Now that he’s worked on his own first bootcamp, I’m sure he has a sense of things and I have complete faith in him.  The truth is that you can never really tell what someone is like based on just and email or two, so it’s really all up in the air.  For me, it will be interesting to work with pure LoveSystems again.  It’s been a while.  As you know I’ve really been developing Shane-game, which I think is about to blow up the London scene.  I know that Sheriff, Sasha, and Vercetti are all going to study it based on my recomendtion.  Believe me it’s worth it.

Sheriff covered how to teach opening and transitioning last night and I think it’s going to be really tight.  Afterwards, I went out for a drink with him, Vercetti and BeeBaller.  Now I’ve met BB a couple of times in the past, but I honeslty never really talked to him.  I didn’t give him the greatest of thin-slices.  We had a long talk last night and he is really a nice dude.  We talked a lot about some of our mutual friends and our pickup theories.  He was really interested in Shane-game and the whole Organic Seduction concept.  I am well pleased.  I had to rush to catch my train.

Yet again I was too sweaty and stinky, as Vercetti was kind enough to point out.  It’s really all a matter of the weather and how far I have to travel.  I sweated on almost ten different occasions after leaving for London last night.  The tube was so crowded and hot.  Grrr.  My rapport building is really increasing though.  I had a lovely chat with an old man for 6minutes on the tube.  He was wearing a copper magnetic bracelet and I asked him all about it.  I found out about all of his trips around the world, his profession and his opinion on unconventional medicine.  He really opened up and shook my hand when he left.  Shane talks about whatever she wants.

Oh ya.  Before that on the train up to Guildford I started working on my Tao of Shane.  I got into super Shane-state and wrote a badass text to my Ten.  She texted me back a few hours later and said she would love to see me, but only as friends.  I know she is just testing me.  The old Paladin would have crumbled or texted back that he has enough friends.  Sorry.  I can’t believe I just wrote that in the 3rd person.  But really, for a moment I was really upset.  Then I remembered what Seb Drake the genius taught me.  I got Soul to help me craft a nonchalant text back and I retook the frame.  Honestly, in Shane-state my abundance mentality is really clear.  I might post my mantra/breakdown of Shane later.   For now it resides on my phone.

As you know I lived in Japan for two years and it has massively affected my gaming style and fashion. Today I want to talk to you about one of the most powerful words I learned during my time in Japan. Skinship: Human to human touch. In Japan there is a great deal of emphasis placed on this. And it is sorely lacking in most western cultures….

My first day in Japan I saw teenage boys lying across each other, massaging each other, and hugging each other. My first thought was that all of Japan is gay. In fact, it’s nearly the opposite. The standard assumption is that men are not gay, therefore they can really express themselves with non-sexual touch. The Japanese have realized that as humans we crave skin on skin contact. There is far more physical openness as all Japanese go to onsen, or public bathhouses, and bathe in public in the nude.

Im the western world there has been a steady decline in human to human contact for centuries. First men stopped touching women as form of sexual repression. Then men stopped touching men as a way of suppressing their homosexuality, even when they were straight. If you notice, often when girls see each other they run up and hug. If two men did the same thing, we would immediately think they are gay. Only recently did I start to question the logic in this. I knew two naturals, who hugged each other every time they saw each other and said something emotional and kind. It’s really powerful. I started to emulate them as I wanted to improve my game. Just last night, a guy I’m friends with was over with my house mate. I walked in on them chilling in my house mates room at about 1am, super drunk. My friend tried to shake my hand and I said I don’t think so and hugged him. He was hesitant for a second, but then he almost broke my back with a long strong hug. As soon as I made it ok for him to express skinship, he expressed a lot more than me.

In Japanese culture there is a great deal of emphasis placed on the greater good, which I will explore in another article. People express skinship in their relationships as a way of being there for each other. It’s a way of giving value. This is something very valuable, that I think we would do well to bring into our society. I often quote the powerful line from Tommy Boy “Brothers don’t shake hands, brothers hug!”

When I first started this whole thing, I really freaked out about kino, like everybody else. But not-kinoing is more unnatural. There are a million non-sexual ways to give people physical affirmation. I decided that I wanted to be a guy who has a lot of touch in his life, so that kino will just be congruent. So I touch men and women. I hug girls in set constantly, and not just my target. The new centerpiece of my theory is that of giving out as much value as possible. I want everyone to feel better after they meet me, and for some deep reason, hugs make us feel better.

There are hundreds of articles on how important touch is for babies. Babies that don’t get a ton of touch from their mothers right from birth often have massive psychological issues. There are a ton of studies you can read on google scholar about effect of gentle human touch (GHT) on infants. As we grow our needs do not change. I try to hug all of my friends and I am trying to increase the amount in my life. Often we can go through an entire day without actually touching another person, this is so common in big cities and a massive part of why people can feel lonely surrounded by other people.

Japanese people have higher levels of skinship because people just aren’t as worried about seeming gay. We could learn a lot from this. I am sure I’m not gay, so I should be able to have tons of non-sexual touch with my friends. I will close by relating one final story. One of my favorite students at a school where I struggled most days was a sweet 14 year old girl. One day she saw me during lunch time and ran at me to hug me. I pulled back, because in America it’s really inappropriate for a male teacher to hug a female student. Her feelings were really hurt. My refusing to touch her in a way acceptable in her society really hurt her feelings. I denied her skinship and it changed our relationship drastically in class from that point on.

So in conclusion, our mindset shouldn’t be to only touch people for the purpose of sexual escalation. Touch should just be part of our lives, how we give affirmation. Touch is a massive part of how we communicate. Then it will naturally flow that when you are communicating sexually, your touch-based communication will go along with it naturally.

Skinship (??????) is a wasei-eigo, or a Japanese word coined using English root origins, initially to describe the closeness between a mother and her child due to the physical contact of their skin. Skinship develops through breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby massage or simply by carrying and holding your baby.

This is one my many current sticking points. Sometimes I feel so sexual and sometimes I feel so not. I have been working on Cajun’s theory of body language. He suggests studying Jim Morrison to really see how to be sexual without doing anything. It’s really powerful but also difficult. Whenever I run my Jim Morrison people ask why I’m so tired. It takes a lot of work and I’m not totally sure that it’s for everyone, but it is good to see people who exude sexuality. I have been perusing youtube looking for a good video to study. I think this one is pretty good.

When he grabes the mic, it’s just so sexual. It’s really powerful. I will continue to work on this and post more. But I definately recomend reading Cajun’s posts on this issue: Body Language #1, Body Language #2, Body Language #3. This stuff is really powerful, but I think it will take ages to really learn this stuff. There is just so much good material out there on how to adjust your life and improve it all.