I have two goals with this article – to make as many people as possible aware of this kickass comedian and to try and make this one of the top posts about him and thus get an actual visit from the man himself, as I know he loves to google himself.

So get ready to laugh your dicks off.

10.   Bonnaroo -  Not only does Aziz come down to the dirty south, where I am living for a few months, to deliver awesome sexually-charged comedy, but he ALSO enjoys the local produce – aka mushrooms.  It’s nice to have a comedian tell a few jokes about cool drugs, instead of talking about doing blow off a 40 year old hooker in upstate new york. 

9. Raaaaaaaandy – If you made the mistake of watching that horrible movie Funny People, you will remember him as the only damn highlight.  Who wants to watch Adam Sandler in a movie that tries to copy Philadelphia, but at the last minute he survives.  Then goes on to try and steal back his average looking ex-wife.  I only watched this movie because I saw so many hilarious videos of Raaaaaaaandy on youtube.  This movie should have been edited down to the 3 minutes he had onscreen.  The rest was crap.

8.  Fuck Tales - I will never tell a sex story again.  I will only tell fuck tales.  Aziz is a genius for thinking of this term.  He also reminds us all how baller it can be to die while eating a girl out in a hot tub.  Two precious lessons.

7.  Flight of the Conchords - Now this show is pretty funny, but they are always singing songs.  Aziz Ansari is one of the few badass characters to NOT sing a lame song to make me laugh.  He was just racist against Australians.  And really who isn’t?  They are always surfing and working on their tans and waxing each other’s abs.  No thanks!

6. Best Lil John Impression Ever – If you have ever seen Parks & Recreation, it’s a parody of the Office which is a parody of the UK show the Office, then you know what I am talking about.  He knows how to liven up a party on a show that is trying to be another show that is trying to be another show.

5.  Kanye West -  Not only did he party with Kanye West, he then went on to tell awesome jokes about it.  THEN he got his cousin on Kanye’s website.  That is baller.  Also very few white guys hang out with Kanye.  So he is in the minority.

4.  South Carolina -  He is from South Carolina but everyone thinks he is from Libya.  People are impressed that he can sound so American.  I have been to South Carolina and between the dip and the missing teeth I didn’t know what anyone was talking about.  I am impressed that I can understand him, but not because I expected a libyan accent, I expected a big redneck one.

3.  He has a DJ -  I am always happy when there is more work for DJs in this world.  Everyone should have badass entry music every time they walk into a room and especially on stage.

2.  Google - This playboy goes out there and googles himself.

1.  A sensual evening – This is the best comedy central special that I have seen in years.  I was in my room laughing my dick off and my roommate ran in to see if I was dying.  I am 100% gonna have sex while watching this in the near future.  And when I do I will let you know if it was better than watching SuperBad while banging Sparkles doggy style.  Because that was pretty badass.

Basically this guy is one of the few comedians who doesn’t tell jokes about how lame he is.  This guy is an up and coming legend.  I need to keep him famous so he keeps telling the jokes that I love.  I will never look at CVS the same way again, that’s for sure.